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10 yr old son with a serious fear and anxiety disorder

My son is a little shy but still will talk to anybody if he is interested in what they are talking about. hIS MATURITY LEVEL IS ABOUT AN AGE 7 OR 8. He has an ungodly fear of everything...literally. He won't play anythin that might hurt him or whatever...definantely no climbing trees. The only thin he likes to do is fish. He was diagnosed with adhd when he was 5 but now they say its not adhd but an anxiety disorder. He cannot focus if his life depended on it. in school his grades are d's and f's and i have tried everything and am at my witts end. I am so worried about him cause at school this year in which he is 10yrs old and in the 4th grade going to 5th and i am so freakin nervous...he will not stand up for his self for nothing. and recently the school evaluated him and found out he has a learning dissabilitiy as well so if anybody has any ides or help on who to get help i would greatly appreciate it! Thank you!
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535822 tn?1443976780
I do believe very strongly that anxiety can be learned from a parent if a child sees all her formative life an over protective, nervy, anxious parent , they can emulate that same behavior..... whatever the statistics show,  .I do not believe that most children have anxiety disorders very often it is an excuse to get them onto powerful meds with bad side effects  I do believe there is a problem in many families of a  child/parent interactive .'disorder "...
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It has never been proven that anxiety is an inherited trait, no genetic link.  But children of parents who themselves are anxious tend to sense the anxiety and become anxious as a result. My son was a very active pre-schooler, but when he started school he did very poorly.  I asked his pediatrician if he could be hyper-active and he said "no, or he wouldn't be able to sit there like he is," giving me the impression that he had to be running around all the time to be hyper-active.  Then I read an article that said often  hyper-activity doesn't show up until they hit school age and it is reflected in their grades.  With this article in hand I took my son back to his doctor at which point he was put on medication, and his grades shot straight up!  He also had some social phobia which this helped with as well.  My son was also very shy until he reached the age of 12 and he seemed to overcome that.  My son outgrew this hyperactivity to where he could concentrate without it.  When a child is hyper their minds are always wandering and they aren't able to concentrate. Contact his pediatrician about his behavior and go from there, he/she will know what direction to point you.  We only did the medication and he outgrew it all and was very outgoing in junior high with many friends.  He also only took medication during the school months, but it really brought him out of his shell.  Hope this helps.  Take care.
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Avatar universal
I belong to a support group for teachers and parents of children suffering from anxiety.  Many of the children in our group have been incorrectly diagnosed with ADD/ADHD as the behaviours of this disorder often mimic anxiety.  Children with anxiety tend to be immature as they are not able to absorb subtle clues from their environment re manners and social practices.  Also, due to the difficulty in concentrating and learning, I often view this mental health issue as an "invisible disorder" so it is common that children with anxiety tend to have less success in school than the IQ would suggest.  Your observations are "dead on".

But, anxiety is very common and highly treatable.  Anxiety is an inherited trait and usually is not the result of life expereinces.  Your first step would be to contact your family doctor.  If he/she is unable to help you, then ask for a referrral to a medical mental health specialist (as a child psychiatrist or child neurologist), preferrably with experience in anxiety disorders.  Treatment usually is multi-modal and could involve intervention, therapy and/or possibly medication.  There is no "magic wand" cure and if your son is suffering from anxiety, then it will be a life-long struggle.  But, he can learn how to control and manage his fears/anxieties and lead a more "peaceful" life.  You cannot do this alone - neither can he.  Our granddaughter suffers from extreme anxiety and has been learning how to "manage" her fears for several years now.  She required treatment involving intervention and medication; today she is doing well but, as I said, there is no "fast cure".  

Please contact your doctor for help.  One caveat - if your doctor only wants to "solve" this issue with medication, then this is not the person you need.  As I stated before, anxiety treatment is multi-modal and behavioural issues need to be addressed as well as chemical issues.  Please write if you feel that I can be of more help.  I wish you the best ....
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535822 tn?1443976780
Is he taking any meds at all? Is he the only one in the family with the same kind of anxiety  sometime behaviors are learned from other family members , How is he at school, does he do okay mix with other children well, would you say he is differant when he is at school ?have you asked his teacher if she has noticed his fear ...
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