11 year old pooping pants all the time

[Victor547]

My nephew is 11 years old.  He is always pooping his pants and he smells all the time.  His parents have taken him to the doctors in the past.  The doctors gave them medicine to give my nephew  three times a day and they are supposed to give him an enima once a day at night.  They are not consistant with the treatment so it has not helped any.  When my nephew was younger he would hold his bowels as long as he could.  What happened over time is his bowels get very hard because he holds them so long and now his colon is stretched out.  (according to the doctors)  When my nephew is asked why he does this he replies by saying he doesn't know.  He is no longer allowed a day care because he can't keep his pants clean.  I don't know what the problem is but he he is getting older and the problem isn't improving.  If anyone has some information on what I should do, or if you have some insight on what could be causing an 11 year old to poop his pants I would love to hear it.  I would love to smack some sense in to his parents but I don't know if it is my place or not.  I can't figure out if this is mental or physical.  Please help with some information.  

[TawniS]

I am in a very similar situation. My son is currently 11 years old and has been spoiling himself for the last 3 years. It started off to where it was every once in a great while and has increased severely over the last three years. However my son has gone through a very traumatic incident involving his biological father. His father didn't want to pay child support when we divorced so he thought kidnapping them and lying to the courts and CPS about my oldest son who was 7 years old at the time saying that he had done some things to my younger two children. He eventually admitted that he lied about all of it because he thought that it would be cheaper to raise his children than pay child support also CPS found no evidence to support his claims and eventually everything was dropped. My 11 year old was too young at the time that all this happened so he can't really remember any of what had happened. When he'd kidnapped them it took me 3 months to get them back, he took them out of state and the state of Idaho doesn't recognize that is kidnapping unless there is some type of court order in place but we hadn't gotten that far yet since we had literally just separated. So after three months of fighting for my children I got full custody and he got partial visitation but during those three months him and his girlfriend who he'd only been with for 6 months by this time constantly told my children that they would never see me again and we're trying to convince my younger two boys that their older brother did things to them but they don't remember any of it so it was a very traumatic experience for both of my children. Sorry if this doesn't make a whole lot of sense it's just there's so much and it would literally take forever to explain it all. My middle boy seemed fine and still to this day seems fine never had any issues with the whole situation but he was also old enough to understand everything that was going on and didn't believe anything that his father and girlfriend told him. However my younger boy started to have nightmares a few months after I got him back and when he would explain these nightmares to me it literally was the things that had happened to him while he was with his dad and girlfriend. He thought they were just bad dreams he didn't realize that these things actually happened to him and at that point that is when he started to soil himself. I immediately sought counseling for both of my children because of the experience that they had and the counseling seem to work for my youngest for a little while but then it just wasn't enough. He then started going to the bathroom in his pants at school in the car when we're driving somewhere and every time he would never say anything to me about needing to go to the bathroom. He then started having behavioral issues anger issues both at home and at school. I then got him into not just counseling through the school but also had him start seeing a psychiatrist twice a week. None of it ever seemed to help. I've taken him to the doctor we've had X-rays done we've had lab work done to determine if this was a medical issue which I knew it wasn't but we needed to rule it out. As somebody else said in another post on this thread he started to try and hold it as long as he could and then started to become constipated all the time and bowel movements were so large that his colon is now stretched. Eating became one of his coping mechanisms with everything that he was trying to deal with and so he ended up gaining some weight and I had to start monitoring what he would eat and how often he would eat and eventually he was able to lose that weight and I still have to keep an eye on him when it comes to eating because the second I turn around I'll be right back in the kitchen trying to eat something else. I put him on a fiber diet which didn't work very well he then stopped eating because he didn't like the food that I was feeding him so I decided to put him on fiber chewables instead and then make sure that the food that I buy is not high in fat and sugar that way we don't have the same issue again because obesity and diabetes runs very badly on his father's side of the family. As far as the behavioural and anger went I wanted to try anything and everything that I could before I resorted to putting him on any type of medication but after 3 years it just seemed like it was time. This last November he was put on Fluoxetine, he started on 10 milligrams and eventually was moved to 20 milligrams. Believe It or Not My Child now wakes up in a good mood and his anger and behavioral issues have subsided drastically. however he is still soiling himself on a regular basis and it's gotten to the point where he can no longer spend the night at his friends can no longer stay here because I don't want him to ever be made fun of and what not. Through counseling and talking to my son myself we've come to find out that he just does it and doesn't care. I finally had to start grounding him from all of his favorite things until he started taken responsibility for his actions. One of the punishments that he has is he has to hand wash his soiled Underpants because I cannot put them in my washing machine like that and at this point I have spent so much money on new underwear that I'm just tired of spending it. When he first started washing his own Underpants it did seem to help for a while and he was doing it less. however he just went right back to doing it again he says he just does it and doesn't know why. He doesn't try to hide it from me and he has gotten to the point where he will now shower just about every time it happens. I think it's been happening so long that it's just become a part of who he is and I don't know what to do anymore. His father has never been a part of his recovery process and will not admit that the things that he tried to do and the things that he did do when he kidnapped him and his brother were the cause of his issues. My son was diagnosed with chronic PTSD depression and anxiety disorder. Sadly his father has court-ordered visitation rights and the state of Idaho will not allow him to sign his rights over because this is the No Child Left Behind state. his father cancels just about every visitation does not conversate with his children at all he does not call he does not send them cards letters anything. The courts still will not drop the visitation and their father does not understand that he is doing more harm than good to his boys by not being a constant figure in their life. So I know that until he feels like he is loved by both parents that this is just going to keep happening. So I keep a log of all the visitation and phone calls that their father makes and cancels and how long can goes in between visitations and phone calls. This way if I do end up having to go back to court again I can prove that no matter what the courts try and force on him he is not going to do. Thankfully I have a loving husband who treats my children like his own and we've just recently found out that if my husband were to adopt my children we could get their father to sign over his rights legally but my children don't want that they want their father. Which is very understandable and hopefully when they get a little older and they might see what he's been doing and decide that they no longer want him to be a part of their life but until then I just I have to keep my mouth shut because it's never good to talk bad about a parent to their child. If anybody out there has any suggestions as to what may help other than what I've already done for my child I would be greatly appreciative for the input.

[Jnu]

I have a,special needs son who is 15. Cant walk or talk poops his oants pees his pants. Just have to bear with it. I kedo him in pampers and chang him.

[gskeers56]

TawnIS sooner or your son will grow out of it i did with my pooping myself problem

[bbanddd]

my son as an infant pooped 5-6 times a day, i called the dr and she said he has good digestive system, had a rough time with potty training him but got it done before kinder. now he is 11 years old and still has accidents 2-4 times a week wt school of course. im feeling there is a disconnect with it. he doesnt seem to care much or he forgets that its there. i dont think he fully poops on his self but doesnt get to the bathroom in time. the problem im seeing is that he deosnt clean himself after the acciedent which is telling me there is a disconnect. ive talked with him over and over. talked with a dr and nothing seems to give me help. Im worried for him socially. Not sure where to go. dr dont say much!! very concerned for his well being in this world.

[jenl87]

my daughter is the same way i need help as well

[Sara_MHModerator]

Hello jenl87. Welcome to the forum.  We sure are sorry your daughter is having this issue.  I  know that an be frustrating.  Our recommendation is to speak to her doctor about it. There is a condition that often leads to older children soiling their pants.  It is called encopresis.  https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/encopresis#1,  It actually relates to constipation and kids can be constipated even if they have regular bowel movements.  When they do have this condition due to a slow digestive tract, they often don't really know when they have to go because they often feel like they do due to the constipation. This results in accidents.  

Please speak to her doctor.  If that is not the situation, they can give you other medical possibilities and go from there.  Best

[Nicola7400]

My stepson is 13 and also soils his pants all the time. He can and does use the toilet sometimes but often poops himself without explanation and apparently doesn't feel the need to go to the toilet. I get frustrated by this and his attitude sometimes as he has sat in soiled underwear before while playing computer games until it was raised. He also has an issue with bedwetting and he wears pullups overnight, his dad had kept putting him back into pullups during the day due to this issue until he was 11 because he would soil underwear. He has soiled himself at school before. He has been to the doctor about it more than once but they could not find any cause. His dad seems to believe he will grow out of it and I think he is a bit in denial and trying to avoid the issue tbh.

[Ljoyis]

I wonder if this is like anorexia. The bottom line for the disorder is control. For children it may be subconscious, that is why they don't know why they do it.

[Josatt]

I have never looked at it this way before!! But makes more sense than anything I’ve ever heard.
My son is 14 and we have dear with this issue his entire life. At 14 you want to think he wouldn’t want to stink anymore, but the more discipline and the more punishment the more he does it!! Drs, specialists, therapists, psychiatrists...nobody has the answer to make i no stop!!!

[Ljoyis]

It sounds like 'making' him behave isn't working. I'm not a therapist, but have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy? It should be able to connect the dots for him and maybe get him to see he has a problem. It's worked for my sister's son. He feels out of control internal and its the one thing he has any say in and no one can truly change that but him.  

[Grmic]

My son has done this his whole life. He's now 11. I have taken him to several therapists, physicians and GI specialist. He has had 24 hour bowel clean out, medication regimens and discipline for the "accidents" in which nothing has worked. They did an unprepped barium enema to prove to him once and for all his bowels are working appropriately.(the psych aspect of it all) He stopped pooping in his pants for 3 months and is back at it again as of today. It's irritating! He does have severe ADHD. We were told high fiber and mirilax..did it and failed. He held it in and it wasn't enough to keep him from being able to do so. Tried the ducolax and it just caused  cramps because he held it in. The GI Specialist gave us The best routine that worked for us until he became defiant. The first week of this routine we had to start by blowing out. 3 bars of chocolate exlax for 2 days and then 2 bars the rest if the week. 2 bars for the next week and then one bar everyday thereafter. This worked for a year but was hell because he created reasons to fight me on it. For now I am going to have to probably fight him and give an enema every month to make sure he constantly cleans out old stool. He does already have signs of chronic constipation in his colon that we alhsve been referred to a colorectal surgeon... Ugh. I hope with this information and options above that one of them work for your little one and you can have some peace.

[Kellbel84]

I am in the same situation my son will be 12 at the end of November and soils himself like 3 or 4 times a day. We live with my brother who is very hard on my son and he constantly yells and puts him down.i have taken my son to the Dr. And specialist we've done xrays clean outs and nothing has been a permanent fix. I have a psychiatrist appointment set up.fpr him this month and I am hoping and praying we can get to the bottom of all this

[mrs_headdy1980]

i know this post is old but my 11 year old is doing the same thing and has been for years n years we have taken her to doctors for years they say there is nothing wrong with her they said its a mental thing did you ever have any luck on finding out why ur nephew was doing that. my daughter will say the same exact thing as ur nephew when we ask her why did she poop her pants she replies i dont know

[Emileeporter]

Well I think he should of took some mirolax

[202027397910]

My brother soiled himself from around 3 years of age, up until he was around 16 years of age when he had the A.C.E procedure,

https://www.shinecharity.org.uk/spinabifida/aceprocedure

"The Antegrade Continence Enema or ACE is a way of managing bowel emptying at a convenient time each day, and should reduce both constipation and soiling episodes. The procedure involves sitting on a commode or toilet whilst a washout is given through a small opening or stoma on the abdomen."

He finally had it reversed after about 3-4 years of treatment, and now functions normally - in the bowel department.

We initially thought it was laziness, causing severe constipation and leaking, however I now after a lot of research believe it's caused by ADHD, all due to an answer to another post I found

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/Why-is-my-10-year-old-soiling-his-pants/show/2734788#post_answer_header

The link in the answer on the post didn't work so I took to google and found this,

http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/news/20131021/kids-with-adhd-often-prone-to-bowel-problems-study#1

I was diagnosed with ADHD on 29th of January 2016 just before my 29th birthday in March, I'm the younger sister, by 2 years, I believe my brother has undiagnosed ADHD, I have also been diagnosed with Autism, as has my nephew, and Hyperactivity and Autism have the same cause, as per what I found here,

http://www.youramazingbrain.org/Res_1st_Angelica_Ronald.pdf

So if you haven't already looked at the possibility, that the child/adolescent soiling themselves has ADHD, I think you should check this out, it may help :)

[itsmorethanyouthink]

What kind of doctors has your nephew been too.
Has he seen a therapist and a gastroenterologist. Mental and Physical. Is there a lot of fiber in the diet, and maybe it's time for a colonoscopy, to make sure the pipes are looking how they are supposed to be looking, plus they can do some biopsies, during the procedure, and test some of the bacteria in the intestines, and maybe an endoscopy for the stomach as well.

[Stressedout1221]

My 9 year old keeps pooping himself. He can be in the house just downstairs watching t.v. and will not get up to go to the bathroom. He has been to the doctor's and there is nothing wrong with him. But this just keeps happening.

[Sandman2]

   While molestation might be a problem, the fact he is doing this several times a day points to more physical problems.  The nurse should talk to his parents.  At the least, the parents need to know what is going on.  I also kind of wonder if they are not giving him some kind of a laxative.  Kids do not go poo several times a day.

[Flip27]

I have a new student this year who is 11 and soils a few times a day. I am working on having him go to the nurse to clean himself up every time it happens but I want to help him get control of it.  I am very concerned that he could have been or is being molested . Do you have any suggestions on how to best help him?

[annmanoo]

My 11 year old son saids that he can't do anything right and that he is always wrong and if I correct him he would say "there is yet another thing I can't do" and he would cry everytime.  I am worried.

[Xenina]

Counseling.

[Sandman2]

      This may not be the case, but I have seen a lot of boys (especially) who don't like to use school bathrooms.   And if he is in middle school, he would be one of the younger kids, which makes it even scarier.  Typically, the last things the kids want to do is to go during class breaks or lunch when the restroom is full of other kids.
     One thing that works (if this is true) is to find a teacher who will let him go during class time.  Of course, the time of day is important.  But you might ask him if he uses the bathrooms at school.    

[Ipooptoo]

To the parents of some of these kids. I'm not saying all are like this but believe it or not some kids enjoy how pooping there pants feels. The kids whose doctors can't explain it or have no medical conditions. Come to terms with the fact that some of your kids enjoy it. I know this because I was one of those kids. Long story short I had an accident in my pants when I was 8. I actually enjoyed how it felt and continued to do it. I have no medical issues and I have no learning disabilities. I just enjoyed it period.

[Xenina]

It's not the case for all kids. There are also conditions that cause this. All the men on my father's side has intestinal issues. Many of them had part of the gut removed. A lot of issues are hereditary.

[Gary1974]

I have been with my fiance for going on 4 years.  Her son is in 7th grade, and at least 4 or 5 times a week he poops himself.  My underwear has been disappearing, and both of them have been saying I'm crazy if I think he's taking it.  I gave him three or four pairs of my oldest most uncomfortable pairs, but when I see new underwear gone, or soiled... his mother says I probably gave it to him.  I have bad memory, but not when it comes to my underwear.  
The son argues with her incessantly about the problem because he hopes she'll just get fed up and leave him alone.  I'm not talking 30 seconds of denial and avoiding cleaning up... He'd go on for half an hour if you let him.  It's like he enjoys laying in the ****.  The kid has taken this learned behavior and institutes it with any type of work, or delay in his fun.  He tells both of us he'll take care of it later, and lies about it all the time.  The kid whines nonstop about anything you ask him to do.  He once sat in a pile of leaves for an hour that he was told to rake up.  He'll mess things up worse to try to avoid being forced to do them.  It's impossible... just impossible.  Their logic is so screwed up.  Every time I say let me take care of it, she tries to drag my 15 year old daughter into the argument.  The sad fact is, my daughter won't even come over any longer.  The mother goes through my phone all the time, checks my emails, listens to my phone calls to my daughter, reads my texts... I just can't take it any more.  She is as bad with her behavior and her enabling, as her son is with ******** himself. She has even admitted that sometimes it is easier to deal with it another time.  She's taken him to the doctor at least a dozen times.  They've prescribed medicine, but she's too lazy to force him to take it religiously.  It's ridiculous.  If he was my son, I'd force him every damn night like clockwork.  Tonight he **** himself, she sent him to the bathroom, he came back with **** still in his crack, so she sent him to clean again.  The kid then comes back with the same soiled pants and thinks they are fine because he said he cleaned them off.  My Lord, how unhygienic can a person be.  I had to tell him a dozen times to change his pants before he finally did... and then he comes back and sarcastically asks if I'm happy he changed them.  He leaves food in all of his plates, milk in his cups, never rinses anything.  Heck, they both do that a lot with the food and milk.  I just don't know if I can stand it any longer.  His mother tries to say my 15 year old daughter is half the problem too, but she refuses to come over any longer because of these issues.  I'm forced to pick her up for dinner and then drop her off.  It's not fair to me to have to go through this.  I'm really about to just tell them both I'm packing my bags for good.  I love them both dearly, but I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.  The only problem is, my fiance is 8 weeks pregnant, and we were supposed to have been married earlier this year.  This problem, along with a few other issues, have kept us from going through with it.  At this point... I'd rather just pay another 18 years of child support.  I give up on stupid people who don't understand.  If you are too lazy to change your own actions, how can you expect a child to change theirs.  I've tried to get the mother to monitor him every half an hour, but she is too lazy.  The only thing that worked was removing his TV from his room and grounding him from that God awful Minecraft game.  As soon as he got it back... instantly a load of **** reappeared. Am I crazy, or is 3 years way too long for me to put up with this ********?  ....This is all a reflection of just how pissed off I am... I'm educated, very patient, but 3 years is a long time to deal with this type of problem... especially when I've stepped in his **** about 100 times.  The sad fact is, I work with laboratory testing and completely understand the pathogens involved in this.  They blow it off like it's nothing.  I'm a good looking guy, but all this has led to me letting myself add about 30 lbs.  I'll be 40 in March, and just wondering if I'm fighting a losing battle.  Thanks for listening to me rant.

[Xenina]

This is a very serious situation. For my cousin, it was an intestinal problem. Part of his gut had stopped working, and it was causing the bowls to become unpredictable. It was uncontrollable for him until he had part of his lower intestines removed as a teenager. He also sounds very stressed out about the situation. I would get him counseling, and  make him wear pull up pants, just in case he has an accident. It will be easier for him to deal with if he keeps a bag of some kind in the office or the nurse's quarters. Other kids don't have to know about medical problems of their classmates. That part can be helped. Make sure to get more tests on his lower intestines, specifically. Kids don't want to admit something is wrong with them. It's also very shameful, and they may not want to talk about it.

[mamabrumble59]

thank you , my grandson is 11, and has been to doctors who prescribed laxatives and other medicine but my daughter who has 4 children is not consistent with his treatment, they are moving in with me now due to finances. I believe this does have a psychological aspect as well as physical and thanks to your dx I will now have an avenue to pursue. I love him dearly he has a mild form of autism and children tease him relentlessly already. He doesn't need this on top of it. Thank you again.

[wachiori]

My son is eight and well needless to say the problem is the same. I have been to the doctors, first they diagnosed him with chronic constipation, then we had to take him to er for edema once. i make him do foods with fiber and take water with every meal, send him to the bathroom as often as I can but he still does it. Like you it was about just driving me crazy thinking how a bad mom I am, but his sister who is three uses the bathroom in order. So I figured we have a problem and I gotta have to support him and i know we will come to the end of this. Besides alot of prayers and crying to God who will ultimately heal him, I have recently started taking him to the chiropractor and we are going through sessions to see if this helps. It is tough but we gotta get through it, together EAW

[Sandman2]

    The fact that she tried to cover it up would tell me that it was unintentional.  I answered your question about the medication on the ADHD forum.

[seedofchucky69]

My 11 yr old daughter has recently started pooping and peeing in her bed, as well she has started to pee on the furniture.
What is puzzling is the effort she will make to cover it up. We recently discovered she had pooped in her bed and immediately afterwards had taken the fecal matter to the bathroom and pretended to poop in the toilet and then told us she had used the toilet.
Shortly after we discovered she had in fact pooped in her bed and took it to the bathroom.
She had recently been put on fluexotine for her skin picking and now my mother in law is saying it is because of the medication which i disagree with.
Keep in mind my 11 yr old has Global Developemental delay.
Does anyone agree that these two factors are the cause of this
Please help

[Mathesonu]

My son is 13 he has poops himself so i put him diapers now he wants to be treated like a baby

[Mathesonu]

I don't know why he wants to be treated like a baby

[CurfewX]

Have you asked him? Have you consulted his doctor about why he may be pooping himself?

[specialmom]

I doubt he wants to be treated like a baby and instead looking into encropresis would ake sense.  Very common and why kids of this age often have issues soiling themselves.  

[crg02770]

well my son is ten and is doing the same and i am keeping everything constant with him but nothin is working with him either and i am about to pull my hair out trying to figure it out and all my doctors can say is it is a behavioral issue and i am being driven crazying thinking it must make me a bad mom not knowing what is wrong. if you find out anything please let me know too.

[maskins95]

So far I see allot of families are having this same problem, I would like to see some answers from a professional that has really helped someone.  It seems to be more common in boys.  Our therapist says our son is showing signs of
regression.