14 year old stepbrother caught masturbating with my underwear

[lollyflowers2]

Okay, so. I am a 24 year old female. My mother married a man who has 3 boys; 14, 19, and 21. This question is concerning my youngest stepbrother. We have caught him looking up porn on the computer so many times we can't count. Recently he has been watching "chicks with dicks" videos. We have also found mine and my mothers undergarments hidden in his room on different occasions.
Today I came home and found him in his room (door open since no one else was home) wearing a pair of my underwear just up to his thighs. He was on his floor on his knees (legs spread) touching himself with one hand in the front and in his other hand he had a wooden dowel type stick in his butt.
This is not the first time I have caught him touching himself but it is the most extreme time. I understand that he thought he was home alone and boys at that age are horny BUT I feel violated that he is using my clothing and obviously took it from my room. Also I am concerned about him putting things in his rear because he could puncture or tear something. It is hard to talk to his father about this because he just says "he is a teenage boy. That is what they do" but I do not know how to process this. Is this normal for 14 year old boys to do? The only reason he doesn't get on the computer anymore is because we locked it because he always goes to porn sites. There are a lot of other things that seem off to me but I am an only child so I'm not sure if this kind of behavior is normal for a boy his age. Any help would be appreciated.

[specialmom]

Boys masturbate, yes.  But watching porn------  that is a parental leniency problem.  

Honestly, you need to move.  Bad relationships means you were dependent on someone to live independently.  I would make it a priority to live by yourself and be financially able to do so.  College, job training, etc. is important and I'd add it into what you are doing.  And if you can't live by yourself financially, look for a non romantic roommate.  

Honestly, the man your mother married sounds like a goofy dad and the house sounds like it is run like a fun house.  I'd get out of there and leave these people to their own demise.  good luck

[lollyflowers2]

Yes at my age I shouldn't be at home. I did live on my own but due to a bad relationship I had to come back. I do lock my door but it is a lock that can be undone with a butter knife.
I told my stepfather about this and he said that this is what teenage boys do. And that I should have announced myself when I got home. The point of my question was just to see if this really is normal for boys his age. My mother and I don't think so but like I said, we have never had teenage boys in the house until 2 years ago when they got married. Also does anyone have any advice about how to approach my stepfather. Not me, but my mother. She has a hard time talking to him about these kinds of things because his reason for everything is "that is what boys his age do."

Thanks though.

[RockRose]

It sounds to me like this boy isn't supervised much at all,  and has a very imaginative mind,  and has lots of resources and outlets for his very imaginative fantasies.  I agree with SM,  if you aren't in a position to afford your own apartment at the age of 24,  get a lock on your door.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, you're 24.  Maybe it is time to get your own place.  I was out of the house at 18 myself.  

And if he is watching porn and such-------  it sounds like your mother married a really great dad (not) in that he is not supervising his kid much.  This dad needs to have discussions with his boys about sex, porn, appropriate behavior, etc.  You should NEVER ever be involved.  If you have to stay in the house, I'm sure you have your own room.  Get a lock for your door and use it.  

But at 24, you're ready to live on your own rather than with your mom and her new husband and his kids.

good luck