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Avatar universal

16 underdeveloped son bmx riding

im fearful of my sons health he rides a bmx bike like you see on the x games and what not ,but he is underdevoled like his uncle was at his age and im scared he will end up permanently hurting himself
he is a strong willed kid and is actualy good at it he stands just under 5 feet and is throwing down tricks with a 30lb bike one of those 20inch wheel one
but today he hurt himself while grinding a handrail that was about 2 feet high i asked his friend and he said he got on it but slipped and hacked his shins up and slamed his back on the rail
and my son comes home bloodier than road kill
to me it seems he is trying to prove sumthing to the world
i never want him riding cus he'll be out till 11 riding on sumdays
ive seen his videos and his riding but i dont support his riding
i ground him from ridng but it doesnt work
he has never stole or been suspended or anything hes normaly a good kid
but his riding is his life
like i said is he trying to prove sumthing to the world
10 Responses
Avatar universal
oh ps when he comes hoem he acts likes nuthing happend
or if he doesnt land one of his tricks he gets all bent out of shape and goes out realy late practacing
and he hates hospitals
if he gets a concussion hes say **** you dad im going out riding
for example he gouged his shin up real deep like 2and a half inches long which he just wraped up in a ace bandage and got a concussion and factured a rib (i took him to the hospital later the next day buy keeping him from school)
but the night he got injured he disapeard for 8:45 till about 10;30
hammering at the door yelling i landed it
and he constantly take ib profine cus his joints in his legs or back will get stiff

oh and get this he also tore 3 tendants in his ankle and couldnt move and comes home in a police car
and the cop tells me i tought he was hurt but he said he couldnt move his ankle and asked if he could take him hoem

im sorry for rambling but im worried cus my son in underdevoleped and is just trashing his body around

and btw his ankle might need sugery to fix one of the tendants but he has been riding since it happened he just doesnt care
184674 tn?1360860493
Sounds like your son has a real passion for bmx riding, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps he's even more hard-headed about doing it because he knows you have such a problem with it.
I think you're right, though--sounds like he's trying to prove himself as "tough enough" or something. Also, teens often seem to obsess over one or two things for a while, and then outgrow them. But while they're all caught up in their obsession, it seems they often feel "misunderstood" by their parents and "unsupported," which makes them want to do it all the more.
Anyway, I was going to suggest that perhaps you could take a different approach to your son's interest than paranoia. Now I can clearly see why you have concerns; I would too. But you're feeding his passion in a negative way.
First of all, look at it this way--at least he's getting excercise and not obsessed with video/computer games and being a couch potatoe.
Secondly, look for some sort of professional bmx lessons for him, if available, so he can be taught to ride in a safe way. If that's not available, take him to a sports store and let him pick out a helmet and safety gear. You might have to splurge a little, but at least he'll feel like you finally care about what he's most interested in.
Then, set rules for riding. He must wear his safety gear at all times. He will have a curfew; if he breaks the curfew, take the bike away (or take a wheel off and hide it for a few days). He must maintain a certain GPA in school. He must seek medical attention for ANY injury.

I hope this helps a little. Like I said, his interest in bmx riding really shouldn't be a negative thing. You have every reason to have concern right now because he's "trashing his body" as you said, but the risk of injuries he takes can be greatly reduced with proper safety gear and some riding lessons (if available).
Avatar universal
hmmm i have tried that stuff when he was around 14 when he was just being the kid that does wheelies
but that doesnt work anymore the kid can get a new wheel and the snap of his fingers
he has talked about woodward to me but i still dont believe he should be riding
hes better than most of the kids he rides with sorta like a alpha male or a leader oof the pack but he just left to go riding and he has a huge bruise on his back
and i have bought him helms gloves and shin gaurds and he ware the gloves all the time when he rides
but he weres his helmet on at the parks
he and i constantly have fights over riding
and he always says im not tring to go pro iride to have fun
he always says i dont understand
as a kid i was overweight and still am about 310 right now
and my kid is 4'11 and about 100 pounds
im afriad the cops will chech him ridng a legde and ill have the rear end of the matter
Avatar universal
ps i have cut his frame apart 1 when he didnt come home for 2 days
but he made 1 phone call and now he has a new frame
Avatar universal
its like whatever i do he has to one up me with a better than before solution
13167 tn?1327194124
He sounds like my best friend's son.  

This boy has had more concussions,  and broken bones,  and bloody face injuries than anyone can count,  and he's got deep scars all over his body.  He skateboards,  jumps off cliffs and rides a dirt bike,  and can't do it without doing something shockingly daring.  Usually he's incredibly lucky but sometimes not,  and the injuries are horrific.  The worst one was when he and a friend were playing "chicken" - riding their bikes at breakneck speed towards each other,  and neither chickened out.  It took an ambulance that time.

These appear to be purposeful injuries,  Paraoid.  I don't know what your son is like in general,  but this boy is bipolar and has severe anxiety and depression,  and I think if he were a girl he'd be a "cutter".  As it is,  he keeps injuring himself - maybe the emotional pain is harder than physical pain.  

Does your son sound like that?  Have you considered that he in trying to injure himself?

Best wishes.
184674 tn?1360860493
I'm just curious, does he work a job? Get an allowance? How is he getting money to buy his bike stuff at the snap of his fingers, like a new wheel or frame?

As for him "one-upping" you, maybe it's time for you to quit trying to stop or limit him from riding. He's 16 and obviously has connections to pursue this that are out of your control (or are they?). You're the parent, so put your foot down and cut off the allowance (if that's how he gets his money), cell phone, lock the doors after a certain hour of the night (re-locate spare keys;he obviously has places to go if he can disappear for a few days), and make him pursue something responsibly that will force him to do practically all the fending for and providing for himself. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're not kicking him out of your home and cutting off all crucial support to him. Basically give him the message, "Hey, you don't respect how I feel about your health and safety, so if you don't respect my care for you, don't expect much more from me than what you absolutely need." At the age of 16, all he *needs* from you is your love, support, a home to live in, food and medical care, but really not much else (and if he wants to refuse medical care, let him). If he wants to disappear for two days or come and go as he pleases with no regards to how you feel just to assert his "alfa male independence," then force him to really go at it all on his own, giving no more than what's required of you as a parent (also meaning if the cops catch him and arrest him or whatever, that you won't bail him out, you won't pay his fines, and you won't defend his behavior).

When you see him next, tell him you're concerned for his safety, but if he's going to do what he's going to do, then that's his decision. If he gets permanently injured, it's his own fault after the many warnings you've given. But from now on you will no longer stand in his way. It's his life, it's his health, it's his safety. Tell him you'll have no sympathy for his actions if he's injured permanently and can never ride again, although you'll never stop loving or supporting him. Sort of a "Well, I told you so, but I'm still here for you."
Avatar universal
idk about a cutter cus he beat the **** out of a "emo" kid sorry if that offends anyone
but he always gets parts cus other people support him he knows pros and bike crews that just get along with him well and he knows cops
cops in belair are corrupt they dont even care
if you let a cop ride ur bike ur off the hook says my son
its unbelievable its like he has the world wraped around his finger
plus hes leaving for the last road trip before school but i said no and he has money so he says "**** you i aint missen a chance like this to go to milwauke and new jersey" so when i left for work hes at home and when i get back there will be a message saying sumthing like "sorry pa just had to do it dont go out and have a heart attack go play on your computor youll get over it"
btw he hates the fact i play world of warcraft he saysill gett addictid and i cant believe him
Avatar universal
he acts like he cares what happens cus his mom passed away and his mom was the outgoing type he had respect for her but since she died he hates everyone in the family
he says its because where fat and annoying
this kid is a handful
Avatar universal
my other son is 19 and has aspbergers adhd and sever depression correct me if i spelt it wrong but he and my younger son dont get along
but when my older son punched out a window with his palm my youngest son had to take care of him
it was like he knew exactley what to do he made my eldest son Alex sit down wash out the wound  put pressure on it and wraped it up and call the hospital and got alex a ride down there
i was blown away
so is there still hope for my son
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