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18 year old cousin too attached to his mother...

She takes him everywhere and he goes with her even on girls day out with the small kids to build a bear at 18 and VS. He has one friend that he goes to the mall with so he is normal, but why does he have to go everywhere with his mother. Also his mom won’t let him get his license and is planning on driving him to and from community college everyday. I have stopped going out with her, this past week I invited her to come shopping cuz all the kids were at school besides my baby and she still brought him with. The kid is 18 now. Why can’t he stay home sometimes like his 16 year old brother that hardly goes out with her.
2 Responses
189897 tn?1441126518
Well, it is always possible that he is on the Autistic spectrum.
I think there is something that she isn’t telling us about him. No need for her to hide it because her acting like he is totally fine makes it worse. He has only one kid that he goes to the mall with maybe once a month if not less than that. Last year I even invited her to my home with other ladies from the neighborhood for coffee and she declined saying she was going to Sam’s
Club. We both knew that was a lie and because she couldn’t bring him with I told her there were only gonna be women there.
Also up until just before he was 18 he would play with my 7 and 8 year olds with their toys and even argue with them and get angry like he was their age. It was weird to see.
The problem is that when you start acting like your child is not ok, then your child can sense that....and it will deeply affect them.  Sounds like she is doing what she feels is right or best for her child.  I assume you would do the same for your own children.  Perhaps, try and get to know this young adult better.  It sounds like he is going to be around for awhile.  Best wishes.
973741 tn?1342342773
Honestly, it is easy to look at things from the outside and wonder or even judge.  But usually, there are things going on that we don't and maybe shouldn't know.  His mom maybe missed the mark with some appropriate behavior but this is not something for you to bring up.  Perhaps your parent that is related to his mom could inquire if there is anything people can do to make it easier on him when he argues over toys with the younger kids.  More out of empathy and frankly, it's the same skills your own child needs when dealing with peers.  I have a son with a developmental delay and as parents, we were instructed to act like kids with him.  For example, not letting him win at games, not letting him have a toy and saying that we want OUR turn, adults picking what to play as much as him . . . just like a peer would. So, instill the take turns system just like you would if it were two kids the same age.  good luck
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189897 tn?1441126518
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