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Avatar universal

2 1/2 year old sleeping issue

Well I see a lot of posts with older childern not sleeping in there beds and it seems to be very common and normal but I will ask my questions anyway. My wife and I recently had our second child and since he has been home our daughter does not want to sleep in her own bed (baby is in his own room now). We can get her to fall asleep in her own bed by laying in the bed or on the floor but about 2 hours later she will wake up. She either just comes into our room (we have a little bed set up for her to sleep on) and go to sleep on that, or she will wake up in a huge panic and will take about 5-10 mins to calm down and then will either sleep on the little bed or in our bed.

We do keep her door cracked open and do have a night light for her in her room.

Anyone have any suggestions? Just something that is natural and we should just roll with it until she grows out of it?
6 Responses
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981077 tn?1279975506
Can you afford to get her a new big girl room?  My son (same age) was exactly the same - and worse.  So we bought him bunkbeds and new linens (sports theme).  We painted his room and organized all of his toys into bins (it all needed a change anyway) - it all seemed so big boy to him (and new and exciting) that he was ready to try it.  We took him to the toy store and let him find his most favorite toy that he desired.  We put a picture of the toy on our fridge with a calendar.  After 30 nights of sleeping in his big boy bed (he was excitied to X the night out each morning (with lots of praise from us) - he earned his big boy toy.  After 30 days, he was now used to his new sleeping arrangement - and hasn't left since!
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Avatar universal
The overall situation, we can keep her in her room if we really tried (gate or locking the door) but she would wake up the baby by her screaming and yelling and crying so we are trying to avoid that. She does watch tv in our room at night. So I think I will start by stopping that and slowly take steps that will keep her in her room. 1st the no tv in our bed, then staying asleep all night in her bed and then falling asleep alone and giving rewards for that.
If anyone else reads this and thinks that is a good option course let me know.
All advice has been a good help thank you.
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973741 tn?1342342773
Hi,  this is a hard especially when you have an infant and no one feels like they are getting a good night sleep anyway.  The dynamics have shifted in your house with a new baby and your daughter is certainly feeling it in many ways.  However, your night time issues are certainly not helping anyone feel well rested.  My children have never slept with my husband or I as that wasn't my thing.  I feel like couples need their space as a couple.  And I knew that once it starts with the sleeping together thing, it becomes a hard habit to break.  I have friends that thought it was great in the begining but now are beside themselves to have their children be independent sleepers.  It is an important skill for kids to learn.  Maybe your daughter would benefit from some "special" time before bed with a parent.  I know when I had my second child, we had to eek out some special times during the day when I could sit quietly with each child.  My husband made a big mistake about a year ago by inviting my then 4 year old son to lay on his bed and watch a little tv together before bed (after I had done our whole night time thing)----  my son loved this.  He then wanted to do it every night and for longer and longer times.  He then would wake up in the middle of the night and wonder in.  I put the kabash on this and he now can come in for 5 minutes (which we time on a clock) and he gets no out of bed times after that.  He gave in to this pretty quickly and we haven't had a problem since.  Your child being 2 1/2 will probably be a little harder to train.  But I really would do it.  I don't think kids grow out of it but the problem gets worse.  I have a friend that put a gate up in front of the door.  You could do a star chart for nights she stayed in her room.  You need to make it clear that you won't stay in her room anymore until she falls asleep---  (just like a baby, once she remembers how to fall back to sleep without you, she won't be likely to have middle of the night disruptions-----  she looks for you in the middle of the night because you were there when she fell asleep . . .)  I'm pretty tough on this but I will tell you that both my kids sleep 12 hours and I sleep 8 or 9 staight each night.  My boys are now 4 and 5 but we've had this for 2 years except for when my husband let my son in our room a  year ago that messed things up.  Good luck----  but we all need our sleep!!  (And some families CHOOSE a family bed option----  but just own it if you choose it.  No guilt!)
Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
Well maybe some others have ideas here , I think you have to be tough it is hard when they cry at nights, she will get older let her stay in with you lots of families do you know .,and she'll be happy good luck.
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Avatar universal
Tried your suggests several times but never really worked.
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535822 tn?1443976780
Why should she grow out of it, she likes it , you are enabling her to do it with the beds here and there .Its fine if it works for you but she is getting mixed messages, if you want her the stay in her room, it would be better to make sure she knows that , take her to her bed .read her a few stories then leave her there, yes door open is okay even a hall light on, but you walk away into your own room, if she yells thats okay It wont hurt her, if she comes out take her back, over and over if you have to, it may take a few days but if you are consistant she will get it, if you are not it will continue, you are the adult it is entirely up to you.
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