2 year old having nightmares

[adgal]

Hi Dr.  My recently turned 2 year old son is suddenly waking up in the night screaming his little head off.  When I go into him, he is absolutely terrified, his little heart just pounding.  He is screaming "dragons mommy, bears mommy".  The first time it happened he was screaming this and pointing to his shelf where a few teddy bears sat and saying "scary mommy, scary".  I removed them, but still the situation is getting worse. He is wide awake and standing up by the time I get in there.  I have no idea where the fear of dragons is coming from as he watches little to no TV, and what he does watch is very toddler appropriate.  Anyway, we keep reassuring him that mommy and daddy won't let dragons or bears in the house.  Last night we tried something new, and walked him around the house before bedtime showing him under the beds and in the closets, and saying "see, no bears or dragons in the house".  It didn't seem to make any difference, and now I wonder if it didn't just serve to reinforce the nightmares? He also talks about bears and dragons during the day, but doesn't seem quite as afraid.  How do we reassure him?  I don't think he is just trying to get our attention in the night (we are trying to break the co sleeping habit right now), he clearly seems scared.  I feel so badly for him.  Thanks so much.

[ducky406]

Night terrors are extremely common in my family. My brother, sister, myself and my niece have all suffered through them. Occasionally I still have very vivid nightmares but on the whole we all grew out of them by the age of 8.

Some of the things that my mom did which helped are - avoiding stimulation. So while his media may be age appropriate try to have a calming or low key activity before bed that stays away from this. Even if it's not "scary" it could stay with him, so we weren't allowed to watch anything an hour before bed. I still have to follow this rule. I also do not watch or read anything that is "high- stress" 3 hours before bed, so anything with action, awkward moments, cliff hangers, etc.

Second thing my mother did was to help my siblings and "I find a dream." As little children she would tuck us in and ask "what do you want to dream about?" Now the down side to this is sometime the answers can cause a child to become excited. However if they're thinking about unicorns and fairies right before sleep, it could help them sleep easier.

Finally when it comes to the screaming, fighting, and running best thing I've found (particularly with my niece) is a tight hug, a soothing voice, and occasionally a bit of rocking. However, my niece was still asleep when she would do this. So it might be easier to calm down a child who is actually awake.

Personally I see no problem with co-sleeping and believe there has never been any significant data that suggests this is a bad thing. Admittedly I haven't looked very hard, but I believe you should go with your natural instincts.

Lastly, I do agree with Dr Kevin Kennedy- don't pretend there is anything in the dark. It's great to have an imagination and encourage it with your child, but looking for monsters and fighting monsters can make them more afraid of them when you're out of the room. Help your child fall asleep easier by letting them know there is no such thing as monsters.

[lisaob1]

you have a phd in i havent got a god dam clue in the real world including proper doctors

[lisaob1]

how did you ever get a phd? did you cheat?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

He'll be fine as you quietly reassure him and guide him back to sleep at night. And refrain from 'checking' to see that there are no dragons, etc. By doing that you are actually demonstrating that there is a chance the creatures could be there. The nighttime wakings will stop and he will sleep through the night. When young children wake up during the night, even when they do not have nightmares, they easily become scared and quickly overwhelmed emotionally. Your last sentence indicated that some of the time he is sleeping with you. Refrain from doing that as well. Your goal should be to have him fall asleep in his own bed by himself.