My 3 1/2 year old son was born full-term, started walking at 10 months, and was developing normally until at 18 months I noticed his speech wasn't progressing. I had him evaluated by early intervention and they said his verbal skills were those of a 10 month old and receptive language was a 12 month old. We had someone come to the house from 2 -3 years old once a week for speech and he improved alot. During this time, I had concerns with his hearing because he wouldn't turn when I talked to him. He had an ABR with sedation and we were told he has normal hearing. He had been enrolled in daycare from 3 months until 18 months and then was home with my husband for 2 years (from June 09 until early May 11) while he was out of work. When he was 2 1/2, I enrolled him 2x a week in a daycare program for socialization and after 2 months, they told me that they didn't want him coming back the following month because he was too much to handle and they couldn't put another teacher in the room. He would often run out of the classroom (so they had to put a bell on the door), climb on furniture, disrupt the class during naptime and not socialize with other kids or participate in circle time or reading activities.
Around the time, I was told that he was no longer welcome at that daycare, he had and evaulation in my school district for their special needs pre-school program. He was accepted into this program, with speech therapy 3x a week and started attending in Nov 2010 and continues to attend there until the end of this month when school ends. He was put in the afternoon class at the pre-school so, since my husband was home, he would put him on the bus and take him off each day.
In the meantime, I discussed his behavior with his pediatrician and they recommended me bringing him to a neurodevelopmental pediatrician. I did this in Feb 2011 and she diagnosed him with ADHD with impulsivity. She recommended that they add Occupational Therapy to his IEP at school for self control due to his impuslive behavior. I discussed this with the school district and they said they didn't feel he needed it and has been doing well in school. She also recommended a medication, however, this isn't something I would consider for him at this young age.
In early May 2011, my husband got a job and returned to work so I had to enroll him in the full-time daycare my 5 year old is in and have them put him on and off the bus each day. The first week went well but then the second week, had 4 incident reports written up about him and then another 3 the next week and so far 3 this week. They are very concerned for his safety due to his impuslive behavior. Some of the instances are:
- running out of the classroom and them not being able to find him because he hides. They use the pager system in the school to alert everyone that he has left the room. teachers and the director have to stop everything they are doing and find him
- he climbs on tables and the support beams in the room with no regard for what the teacher says or what the class is doing
- he runs out of the play area they have by unlatching the gate and trying to get back in the building
I now have almost daily calls with the director at the school about his behavior and what could be causing it. I am very concerned because I am the primary source of income for my family and need to work full-time. I am worried that they will tell me that they cannot care for him anymore and I will have nowhere to put him during the day. The class sizes are large with 2 teachers and within the acceptable range for this age group. I think he may need 1 on 1 supervision during the day and am struggling with resources for this in my area. I don't feel comfortable having someone I don't know come to my house all day to watch him. I would much prefer a childcare setting where he can socialize and be carefully supervised.
He has also had instances of dangerous impulsive behavior at home when my husband was home watching him. Once, when my husband was using the bathroom, he piled up toys and opened the sliding glass doors to the backyard, proceeded to unlatch the gate from the fenced in yard and run to the neighbor's yard to play on their swingset. I never could have imagined him being able to get out of the house this way since we have a special reinforcement on the sliding glass door, including the lock for both the glass door and screen door that he somehow figured out how to open. He also never wants to hold hands and will run away any chance he can so I never take my eyes off of him and always hold his hand. I talk to him over and over again about being safe and not running away and when I ask if he understands, he says yes, but then continues the same behavior seconds later.
Even though he is very active during the day, when it comes to naptime or nighttime, he sleeps amazingly well and never wakes up during the night. I have explored sensory integration techniques to help him release some of his energy but I feel that he needs more assistance with this. He is very loving at home and is always cuddling and lets me read to him and we make up fun games to play and he interacts great with his brother. He doesn't do these impulsive behaviors, that the school sees, at home.
Any advice on the following things would be greatly appreciated:
- what are the reasons for this impulsive behavior and can it be controlled without medication?
- has anyone heard of full-time daycare like programs that are geared towards children that need extra attention and smaller classrooms. I am located in central NJ.
- any advice on what I could be doing to help him would be greatly appreciated. I am very concerned for his safety and ability to integrate into a mainstream school environment in a few years.
- the cord was 3x around his neck when he was born and I worry if that has caused any of these issues. they didn't say anything about there being a problem when he was born.
- do you think that if I would have kept him in the daycare program he was in from 3 months to 18 months, he would not have these issues now? I feel alot of guilt for taking him out of the program and wonder if he would be different if he had stayed in a social environment.
- any other thoughts on anything else I have written here would be greatly appreciated
This discussion is related to
Active 3 1/2 year old.