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Avatar universal

3 year old,

Are all 3 year olds clingy whingy,and want you all for thereselves???
i feel like im attached to mine by the hip,not by choice either.
22 Responses
5914096 tn?1399922587
Yes.  It would be unusual if they don't behave like this at the age of 3.  Set appropriate limits and this phase will end.  If you don't set limits, these behaviors will continue.
757137 tn?1347200053
It's annoying, especially the clingy part, but it will end. You can let him know you are displeased if one episode goes on too long.
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
    And if you have any other younger or older kids around that she/he has to compete with - it makes it even more difficult.
Avatar universal
thankyou for that,i thought i was going mad,and thought she was trying to rule me,i didnt know that 3 year olds did this,although i have 3 grown up kids that r all a year apart,i dontremember them being like that,but there again they had each other to annoy i suppose.
Avatar universal
cheers,i think the arguing back is the most annoying ,and tryna tell YOU wat to do,and wont do a thing shes told.when mine was little you could just clip them round the earole,and that would be it,that was 34 years ago.hahahah
973741 tn?1342346373
In all honesty, try to enjoy it.  It does indeed end and they get more and more independent.  Kids like to spend lots of time with mom.  I would try to set up things right beside me--  I'd put down some coloring pages, books. a game, etc.  And hope to get 10 to 15 minutes of time to do something else.  I'd have things like magnets in a drawer by the frig that I'd get out when I was making dinner so they could sit in front of the frig for 10 minutes playing with magnets on the frig door.  

You are your child's world, so LOVEINGLY (no ear clipping) help guide them to being able to do some things on their own.  

good luck
757137 tn?1347200053
It's OK to get angry on occasion. And an emotional response (in addition to being more honest) can be more effective than quiet reasoning, especially with little kiddies.
13167 tn?1327197724
jackie,  my experience with my kids was more like 3 older kids you had.  My 3 year olds were so independent they were difficult.  :(  Walking away from me in parks and not looking back,  insisting on doing things by themselves that were above their ability level,  etc.  ("I do by self" is still a mantra my family says,  and it began at that age when they refused help with tasks).

I think each child is different and it sounds like you've got kids on each end of the spectrum - the first three very independent and the last one very clingy.
Avatar universal
hi i am special guardian to her,i do sit with her every morning afternoon and night,be it 10 mins or half hour reading learning her her abcs which she knows of by heart now,but as soon as i move or start to talk to any 1 or on the phone she starts,i put her in the hallway for time out,she just goes up stairs to play,i fetch her down ,put her bk,then shes sat playing with her toys,or ripping my wallpaper off.even my kids come and then after 10 mins get up and go ,because they cant stand the crying ,demanding and screaming of her.so thats why i came on this site to get help and see if its normal.
Avatar universal
shes my niece really,but i have guardianship of her,and because my grandsons r round her age,and call me nana,she does,so obviously ive never seen a baby cling and be as jellous of me,im 54 so i hope others can see that in my era,we was clipped round the lugs and told to go and play,but oviously you cant do that now,and i find it hard to disepline her, but im loving the help people on ere are suggesting
13167 tn?1327197724
Jackie,  this behavior you  describe isn't a normal developmental phase.  

I suspect it might be due to her very rocky start in life that she has inappropriate attachment to you.

Can you seek family counseling?  If she's been through the court system to get her assigned to your guardianship,  are there resources you can access for her to help her overcome this?
973741 tn?1342346373
I personally feel the phone is a beacon of bad behavior.  To this day, my kids come up with things to need me for when on the phone.  They are almost 9 and 10!  I can hold up a finger now and point to the phone and they will handle things for themselves but really think that the issue with her having increased needs when you are on the phone is typical for a 3 year old.  I really do.

I guess what I am saying is that spending 10 to 30 minutes with a 3 year old in the evening reading and then expecting to do your own thing wasn't my life with my kids.  Yes, they get more independent but I still had to supervise and they wanted me 'around' and available if need be.  That age is so active and my boys needed tons of outside play, physical activity, interaction with other kids, etc. that caring for them really was about all I did during those toddler years.  (I did have 2 though, so it was double the responsibility at the same time).  

However, perhaps because she has clearly been through 'something' and is separated from her parents, she is indeed overly needy than what is typical.  (while it is not unusual to want mom (or whomever) when on the phone, maybe it is the level of intensity that she handles it with that concerns you).  I would in all honesty, work with her to build her sense of security to help her out (and you in the long run) with this.  I would try not to make long phone calls when she is around and have a go to plan when you do need a few minutes on the phone.  Heck, I did that with kids that didn't have traumatic events in their life and being displaced out of their home/parents.  Go to plans could be talking to her---  I have to make 1 quick (and make it quick) phone call----  you're fine, you are right beside me and you can do X while I make it.  Also, get others you live with---  your husband for example to help when you must do something without interference.  But she needs her security built for sure, it sounds like.  

good luck
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