3 year old behavior a concern

[dewede98]

I have a three year old who in the last year has random outrageous fits, they include throwing things, biting himself, kicking, screaming, hitting doors, yelling for me, etc. I recently went through a divorce but the fits started just prior to that, they are random not in relation to visits, or anything and can last over 3 hours long. I am concerned if theres a health issue here, or is there a concern with the other parent i need to worry about. I do not believe in spanking yet time out , or room doesnt stop him. He trully acts as if he doesnt even have control of himself its scary and he is the middle child it scares the baby and my older son never went through anything like this, please help

[margypops]

in fact rereading this I would not send him till this matter has been addressed..a small child should not be in fear of visiting his father .

[margypops]

whoops that really sends up a red flag..if this was me I would check out what the legal angle is here , this may not be okay with the courts if he is in fact hitting the child I really think you should call CPS and ask for some information .

[dewede98]

Yeah he says that's when daddy gets mad at him, so he's good for daddy, he's scared of him and cries uncontrolably before he has to go everytime

[margypops]

I think you need to speak to someone about this behavior and not let the child go until this hitting with belts stops .Does the child say he does get hit with the belt or anything ?

[ohcalcutagirl]

hi, I will bet it is simpler than it sounds;
, if this started before the divorce; what else started then? your bad feelings, animosity etc?
. . speak w/ dad as a family; the 3 of u, not other kids DON'T BLAME ANYONE
. . be open to your child to the point of MAKING him sit in your lap while u hold and hug and rub and kiss and whisper EVERYTIME he acts out
. . NEVER speak ill of daddy and ask if he will join in family counseling

u can all get thru this and do better
  .    good luck

[dewede98]

Yes he sees his dad every other week the tantrums are either right before he goes or when he returns, one night after an hour long episode he brought me his childs belt for me to use on him, I told him no we don't hit

[margypops]

I think you should address the matter of the belt' it is well known that hitting a child does nothing but make them fearful and can affect them in the future,..How often does he see his Dad have you asked him if his Dad  takes the belt to him or hits him in any other way ?

[dewede98]

Older sibling and him have always gotten along, younger simpling is almost 2 visitation is every other weekend my concern is real dad believes in a belt and no specific routine children should not be heard so he gets no attention there except discipline I'm worried

[margypops]

Has he seen or been part of any similar behavior in the family does he get on okay with the elder son, is the older child kind to him ?There could be jealousy issues if you have a new baby this happens a lot.what are the visitation arrangements with his other parent, how often does he see him .?