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12 year old daughter stealing food from cabinets!
We find wrappersin the garbage, under her bed, in the couch cushions. It is almost always something sweet. Why is she doing this?
What is odd to me is how a child who lives in the home with you is considered stealing by eating food there. :>) Don't really get that. I have two sons around this age who eat like maniacs. Growth spurts come and go and they get super hungry. I would not consider it stealing if they ate food we have in our kitchen. I'd consider it eating. ??
1 Comments
I'm glad to know that that sounded strange to someone else, too! I've raised 3 sons from birth to adulthood. They ate up everything in the house on a daily basis, and it never once crossed my mind that they were stealing food from me. Quite frankly, it doesn't sound like the 12 year old daughter is the problem. She's 12 and it's normal for her to like candy, cookies and cakes and stuff. It sounds like the mother, and possibly both parents, are the real issue here. The question they should be asking themselves is why their daughter feels that she has to sneak behind their backs just to get a snack, and then hide the evidence like she's a criminal, or has something to be ashamed of. It sounds like the mom is giving the child a complex for wanting snacks that all children her age want. They're going to end up giving the poor girl an eating disorder. And really, if her eating sweet snacks is such a problem that they have to ask strangers on the internet what to do about it, why do they keep bringing the sweets into home in the first place? Are the snacks bought just for the parents enjoy and not the child? Isn't that supposed to be the other way around? I know, I've rambled on, but this just annoys me. My best advise for these parents? Grow up and let their daughter be the child.
Sounds like she is hungry. Try offering healthier options. Tell her she never has to hide west she is eating and ask her why she thinks she needs to..
Probably because she is hungry.
This mostly sounds like a communication issue.
Girls hit puberty around age twelve.
This causes growth spurt, which cause a big increase in appetite.
She is most likely stealing because she is hungry and doesn't think she will be able to get the food she wants from asking.
Understand that older kids start to eat a lot and you will most likely need to start buying larger amounts of good as time passes.
She is probably eating junk food because it comes prepackaged and is therefore easy to eat/sneak away with, ar because she doesn't like the healthy foods available to her.
Again, communication is key. Ask her what her favorite healthy snacks are and have them on hand. Keep fruits and other healthy snacks in sandwich bags in serving size amounts for easy access.
If you choose not to let her have constant access to food during the day, let her eat until she is full when she comes from school. Make sure she is eating balanced meals, but a little bit of sugar to go along with the healthy stuff won't hurt her, especially after a long school day. DO NOT shame her about how much she eats.
If you are sure that she is getting enough to eat, then and only then would I look in to an eating disorder. Binge eating disorder is serious and common in teens, but what you are describing sounds like every twelve year old I know, so I wouldn't stress too much unless something else comes up.
This mostly sounds like a communication issue.
Girls hit puberty around age twelve.
This causes growth spurt, which cause a big increase in appetite.
She is most likely stealing because she is hungry and doesn't think she will be able to get the food she wants from asking.
Understand that older kids start to eat a lot and you will most likely need to start buying larger amounts of good as time passes.
She is probably eating junk food because it comes prepackaged and is therefore easy to eat/sneak away with, ar because she doesn't like the healthy foods available to her.
Again, communication is key. Ask her what her favorite healthy snacks are and have them on hand. Keep fruits and other healthy snacks in sandwich bags in serving size amounts for easy access.
If you choose not to let her have constant access to food during the day, let her eat until she is full when she comes from school. Make sure she is eating balanced meals, but a little bit of sugar to go along with the healthy stuff won't hurt her, especially after a long school day. DO NOT shame her about how much she eats.
If you are sure that she is getting enough to eat, then and only then would I look in to an eating disorder. Binge eating disorder is serious and common in teens, but what you are describing sounds like every twelve year old I know, so I wouldn't stress too much unless something else comes up.
If someone takes something without permission, it is simple. It's strange to me that you wouldn't know that. Maybe the daughter does have healthy options for snacks and the sweets are for special occasions. If her parents have told her "you may have anything in the fridge or cabinets EXCEPT for this one box of *sweets* which are for (church event, work event, special occasion, any reason the parent designated because THEY are buying the treats and THEY make the rules in THEIR home) and she takes them anyway and hides the wrappers, that is stealing, disrespectful and disobedient. Maybe in your home you didn't set rules like that. Maybe your kids listened when told not to touch anything. But it isn't strange or weird that a parent tells their children that some things are off limits. This girl is 12 years old, certainly old enough to respect the property of others no matter what it is. Not everyone gives their kids free range over the food, maybe the family only has a limited income and can't afford to buy enough to let their kids "eat up everything in the house on a daily basis". Maybe they want to teach their child self control and discipline.
My mom drank Pepsi when I was growing up. We children were not allowed to have soda pop, so it was OFF LIMITS. If we took the cans anyway and then hid them, that would be STEALING and it would be wrong and she'd have reason to be angry. You shouldn't be so judgemental and smug, not everyone comes from privilege to be able to allow their children to eat and use every item in their home, unrestrained and without discipline.
My mom drank Pepsi when I was growing up. We children were not allowed to have soda pop, so it was OFF LIMITS. If we took the cans anyway and then hid them, that would be STEALING and it would be wrong and she'd have reason to be angry. You shouldn't be so judgemental and smug, not everyone comes from privilege to be able to allow their children to eat and use every item in their home, unrestrained and without discipline.
I gained weight and got a little chubby at 12 was completely skinny but with boobs by 14. This is normal around puberty because your body is about to change so drastically. My body obviously needed all that extra energy and fat to start my cycle and grow boobs.
Stealing?? Its food in your house......she obviously wants to munch. It's not really stealing. Unless you make your kids pay for the food in the house? Let her eat. She is a growing kid.
Hello,
When I see posts like these, an initial read might suggest that it is innocent behaviour. But the fact you have taken the time to post this gives me the impression you are concerned or have a gut feeling there is an issue. I cannot make any assumptions about the physical or mental health of your daughter, and I will not. However, this kind of behaviour can be linked to some issues. It sounds like she is eating these treats in secret, which could maybe (and I emphasize the maybe) linked to binge-eating in secret. The hidden wrappers (again, I do not know your daughter) could be hidden from a shame response to eating these sweets. My recommendation would be to take your daughter to a pediatrician for a medical examination.
Now, if this is linked to some sort of eating related issue, this is an area to treat lightly. You might want to consider having a discussion about healthy body image. I would avoid accusing your daughter about "stealing." If she discloses having these body image issues, I would connect her with a counselor if possible. If financial issues are a barrier, perhaps even speaking with a school counselor. But I always recommend seeing a medical doctor.
When I see posts like these, an initial read might suggest that it is innocent behaviour. But the fact you have taken the time to post this gives me the impression you are concerned or have a gut feeling there is an issue. I cannot make any assumptions about the physical or mental health of your daughter, and I will not. However, this kind of behaviour can be linked to some issues. It sounds like she is eating these treats in secret, which could maybe (and I emphasize the maybe) linked to binge-eating in secret. The hidden wrappers (again, I do not know your daughter) could be hidden from a shame response to eating these sweets. My recommendation would be to take your daughter to a pediatrician for a medical examination.
Now, if this is linked to some sort of eating related issue, this is an area to treat lightly. You might want to consider having a discussion about healthy body image. I would avoid accusing your daughter about "stealing." If she discloses having these body image issues, I would connect her with a counselor if possible. If financial issues are a barrier, perhaps even speaking with a school counselor. But I always recommend seeing a medical doctor.
COMMUNITY LEADER
We really need more info. She is at an age where she could be starting a growth spurt and needing more food. Or is she on medication for ADHD?
I guess the real question is.... does she have a weight problem?
Of course, whatever the reason, getting rid of the sweeted foods and having a more healthy mix -fruits, protein bars, etc. - and then letting her eat those will help.
I guess the real question is.... does she have a weight problem?
Of course, whatever the reason, getting rid of the sweeted foods and having a more healthy mix -fruits, protein bars, etc. - and then letting her eat those will help.
1 Comments
^^^ Many ADHD medications are appetite suppressants and can cause intense hunger after school as the effects wear off.
It could just be that she is being a normal kid and wants to eat sugary things, but thinks that you will tell her no so she sneaks the food to her room. Or, it could be indicative of a binge eating or other kind of eating disorder. When I was a teenager I had eating disorders and I would try really hard to not eat during the day. But then at night I would be so hungry and craving fatty and sugary things, that I would eat a bunch. It may very well not be that and I don't want to scare you, but it's a possibility.
One of the well-respected people on the site says "children steal to fill a broken heart." Has something happened to her lately that represents a serious change or loss?
Another possibility is that she is not getting enough fat in her diet. People crave carbs when they aren't getting enough dietary fats. This doesn't have to be sticks of butter, but if you were to be removing all fats from the diet under the impression that doing so is a way to weight loss, you should know that it actually is counter-productive. Try giving her raw nuts, olive oil in cooking, and other healthy fats, and see if things improve on the carb cravings.
Another possibility is that she is not getting enough fat in her diet. People crave carbs when they aren't getting enough dietary fats. This doesn't have to be sticks of butter, but if you were to be removing all fats from the diet under the impression that doing so is a way to weight loss, you should know that it actually is counter-productive. Try giving her raw nuts, olive oil in cooking, and other healthy fats, and see if things improve on the carb cravings.
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