3yr old daughter having problems with transitions and circle time.

[Sashamom]

My daughter will be three in two weeks.  She had gone to preschool two days a week for two hours since this past Sept.  She refuses to sit for circle time and is disruptive.  The teacher's aide has resorted to holding my (struggling to break free) child during circle time.  She only follows directions when she chooses to listen.  I don't know what to do.  

The teacher have asked if an early interventionist could come see my child at school.  So I sat in class out of site and observed.  My child behaved until circle time came.  The teacher's aide held her to keep her in the circle and prevent her from disrupting others.  After circle time she played well with other, but after hand washing for snack she sprung from the bathroom and pushed three kids.  Then at some point before leaving she began running around the classroom, not listening to the teachers when they told her to stop.  Finally, there was a second circle which was cut short.  My child wouldn't sit, but neither would other children at this point.  My child spotted me watching her and ran to me, I quickly told her to sit in circle because I didn't like her behavior and she sat in circle in her spot and listened until class was over!!!!  I don't know what to do.  

I don't want the interventionist to work with my daughter in class because I'm aware of tracking and labels put on children.  I made an appointment with a clinical social worker to help us with her behavior.  My husband and I are trying to improve discipline at home, but part of me just says she's 3.  Three year old do this as they are learning to deal with the world.  But if her behavior is so different from most kids in class, is there a problem.

I can homeschool if necessary,  but I want her to be part of a school environment.  Would love any advice.    

[Cleveland Mom]

I agree with Dr. Kennedy and the previous poster.  Your daughter may not be developmentally ready for preschool at three years of age.  Neither of my children were.   My three year old daughter will start preschool in the Fall, a couple of weeks shy of her 4th birthday.  In the mean time I make sure she has opportunies for social interaction with similar-aged peers.  I take her to my health clubs child care center for 1 hour 4xs per week.  This has helped her with separating more easily from me.  She also participates in a dance class for 3 and 4 year olds 1x per week.  She is learning a number of important skills at dance class including: listening and following directions, social skills, gross motor skills and artistic expression.  Plus dance class is alot of fun!
At home we work on preacademic skills i.e. drawing, counting, coloring, reading stories together.  There are many ways to encourage the development of a child who is not ready for preschool outside of the school setting.  Best wishes...

[chestnut121]

just wanted to say i agree with the doctors answer regarding readiness for pre-school.  these days, people think kids are ready for school so much earlier than a few decades ago.  this is probably due to the fact that more mothers want to or have to work more than the developmental readiness of the child.  my son is shy and started preschool this year at 3 yrs old.  i wanted him to go (3 hours, 4 days a week) so he would have oppty to to become more at ease socially.  it has definitely helped in that regard.  but i think it may have caused other issues, like tantrums and misbehavior at home.  he is well behaved at school but then acts out his stress at home.  sometimes i wonder why i am putting him in this stressful situation.  is it worth it?  my point is, your daughter just turned 3 years old.  she is so young.  give her opportunities to be social situations with other kids and try pre school next year.  if discipline is kept up at home i would bet she'll be fine.  i think you are right to not want you kid to be labeled as a problem child at this point and both the idea of an intervention and the kid being restrained by the teacher seem unwarranted at this point.  if she was 4 or 5 and couldn't sit still for 20 minutes that seems like it would be a prob.  best wishes!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are doing a good thing by seeking help in managing your daughter's behavior. While most children can manage the so-called circle times pretty well, they are difficult challenges for children who display a high level of energy or who may be somewhat overactive. If that proves to be the only pre-school activity a child cannot manage well, I often recommend some alternative seating arrangement for them. Now, based on the time you observed your daughter, she encountered more problems as the time wore on., even though she is not at the program for a long stretch. She may be one of those children who are not yet quite ready for the pre-school environment, and this would be perfectly OK. Children vary in the degree to which they are ready at such a young age for the demands of pre-school.