3yr old with special needs and horrible behavior

[jcoop26]

I recently gained custody of a 3yr-old great-niece.  She is developmentally delayed and  came from poor living conditions.  She is very defiant and knows no boundaries.  How do I get her discliplined without resorting to spanking?  She is not potty-trained.  She screams, hits unprovoked, unable to feed herself properly and the list goes on.

[jessilb]

I used to work for child protection services.  I understand that it can be hard getting used to a new home where things are finally good.  She needs to adjust.  The best thing you can do is be consistant.  She is testing you right now.  It may get worse before it gets better, but hang in there.  Get a punishment and reward system in place and keep true to it.  I hope things get better, you are a wonderful person for taking her in.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This is not a straightforward situation in light of the developmental disability. Options are very much contingent on the nature and severity of the developmental deficit(s). Regardless of the degree of disability, you will be making a mistake if you resort to physical punishment. That would not help her and would be a sign of your frustration. She needs the services of developmental specialists.