4 1/2 year old with potty training issues

[maddiepoo1]

My 4 1/2 year old has a strange potty issue.  She refuses to sit on the potty and go unless she is wearing a pull-up/diaper.  She has total control over her bladder/bowel function and wears underwear all day except to go to the bathroom.  She takes care of all toileting needs herself and dumps her feces into the toilet when she is done going.  She gets hysterical if we try to have her go without the pull-up/diaper.  She is on track developmentally in all other areas except that she is very shy in social situations.  Do you have any suggestions for this problem, or is there any specialist you are aware of that deals with this type of problem?

[Blueeyes1980]

A related discussion, Please Help was started.

[Ladywing]

A related discussion, Our 5 year old son refuses to potty train. Tried everything.. was started.

[jojo300]

A related discussion, potty training was started.

[lpoland]

My 2 1/2 year old has had the same problem with being potty trained for pee during the day but has steadfastly refused to poop in the potty at all.  He had a few starts early in the potty training process where he did poop in the toilet, but since then he has been extremely against going.  He holds the poop in during the day and waits until he gets a diaper on to go.  I am afraid we are getting stressed out about it and it may be stressing him out (although he does not seem it so far.)  Any suggestions other than just stopping trying for a while and laying off?

[head_against_the_wall]

5 year old girl here with very similar problems as everyone here. Glad to see we're not the only ones. We also need answers besides she'll do it eventually.

She's always held it at pre-school since she was 3.5. Has always refused to go on the potty at school. Will pee successfully at home. Recently, she's been unable to hold it and has been having accidents every day at school. So we took away the cursed pull-ups that I wish we'd never moved her to. She pooped into her clothes. At the potty, she pooped on the seat instead of inside.

She's told us that she likes the feeling of poop on her bottom. I think this is the heart of the problem and I don't know what to do about it.

Now we have accidents at home, both pee and poop. My wife thinks this is her response to us taking the pull-ups away.

Banging my head against the wall seems like the only reasonable solution to me.

[dawn72]

My daughter will be 5 in January. I've tried so many things to get her consistenly potty trained... we've moved from rewards with candy, to getting new character underwear, to buying her 'potty presents' and we aren't getting anywhere. She's proven that she can do it, we've gone weeks without any accidents, and then she just loses interest and goes days without going on the toilet at all. My frustration level has definitely hit the roof!! Does anyone have any ideas for me, please? I wanted to put her in preschool this year, and I can't because they won't take a child unless they are fully trained, and I'm concerned about what will happen next year when she has to go to school.

[woofytoyou]

Prune juice, or prunes, let him snack on prunes and I wouldn't bother with laxatives as he wouldn't need them.
It hurts so much to be cramped up with constipation.  But prunes and licorice, the real stuff, there is NOTHING like them.
Woofy

[way2tiredmom]

I have been having trouble with my son too. (who turned 4 this July) He has been doing #1 on the potty for a yer and a half; he wears underwear all day and stays dry at night. He has refused for the longest time to do #2 on the potty. Finally one night, he went in there and did it by his own self. Then 2 more times that week it happened. All of a sudden, the next week he refused to go and held it for a week! I called the doctor and they had me used an enima; he still refused so I gave in and let him have a diaper. He said that he was scared that it would hurt if he went on the potty. BUT, it didn't the couple times that he went. I don't know what happened to him but I am going crazy with him! His doctor prescribed a powdered laxative that I mix with juice once a day, because she said that he has bowel blockage/constipation. I let him "take a break" from going on the potty and was amazed with how the consistencey of the bowel movements have changed. Not to be gross but its like applesauce now! I know that it will not hurt him to go, but he absolutely refuses. So I am taking away his night time story till he decided to go. He LOVES to read before bed, so maybe taking this away will help. I still read to him during the day though. I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing but I know he can do it; he is being very strong willed!

[woofytoyou]

So she is trained in everyway except wearing that training pants.
Maybe sort of use psychology on her, showing her the last one in the package is all the store has, and that she can say goodbye to the training pants as well, so it will be ok.
It may work... let her use a potty training lid on the adult size toilet lid, if she is fearful of falling through.... is that what it is?  I get that feeling when you use those roadside type portable toilets, falling through doesn't seem so illogical!
She sounds like she is nursing some fear somewhere......

[emerad-parents]

Our 4 year old boy is experiencing the exact thing with the peeing in his pants during the day even just minutes after saying he doesn't have to pee.  He often grabs at himself so we ask him if he has to go, and sometimes he does, and sometimes he insists he doesn't.  It didn't use to be a problem, but recently he has had more accidents.

He has been potty trained for a full year, but wears pull-ups at night.  

There haven't been any major changes in his routine/life that would otherwise be an obvious catalyst for these accidents.

What we can't figure out is whether he knows that he is about to pee or whether he has somehow lost bladder control/feeling.

Any help would be appreciated!

Thanks.

[hcjong]

My 4-1/2 year old boy has been recently having urinary "accidents" during the day - often soon after you ask him if he needs to go pee and he says no.  He was adopted at 3-1/2 years old, but the transition has seemed to go smoothly.  This problem has been occuring in the last month or so.  Is this a regression?  He still uses a diaper at night, but how can we get him to remember to go to the bathroom during the day when he's awake?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

There really is no need for your daughter to see a specialist. Be patient and supportive, and establish a simple reward system to conclude her toilet training. This behavior will soon stop. Does she say anything to you about her reason for preferring the pull-up?