4 year old son negative attitude

[LHANDC]

Hi, I am grateful that my problem is "mild" but still I am at a loss. I have a 4 year old son who just mopes when he isn't getting his way. The problem is this is frequent, because ALL he wants to do when he is home is play video games and he knows the rules, he can play 3 days a week for a little while each day, The days never change he knows which days and on those days from the time he wakes up it is all I hear. Even on his no game days he bugs me and I don't cave-in but he still doesn't stop and the there is no joy in life for him and it makes me sad and angry. He goes to preschool 3 days a week and LOVES it, does great is one of everyone's favorite students, it is playtime for him and social time, he can read extremely well and is figuring out math now, he is very bright in that scenario, but at home he is lifeless unless he is playing video games. He has friends he loves to go and play with but will not go out and play alone or with his brother (In our fenced in backyard). He has one younger brother who is 2 1/2 and was diagnosed with ASD then ADHD instead, it has been a ride but I try to be enthusiastic and get my kid excited about life. His one brothers does push him which we are working on, and he also has a 1 year old bother who he adores most of the time....? I don't ask him to help much with the littler kids, I know he is still a baby too...he worries alot and bosses them a lot and I simply remind him he doesn't have to worry about anyone but himself, mommy and daddy will take care of it. Now, one more important point, my husband is not an enthusiastic guy and I have asked him to fake it if he needs to, which I know is wrong, but I hate seeing my 4 year old not find wonder in life..?!!!  I do think my husband is ADD after learning more about it.
How can I help my son find happiness in life, I am afraid what a 10 year old boy he will be, I want to help him now.He particpates in church groups and church sports and loves it while he is playing, laughs and gets along with all the kids, the other kids gravitate towards him because he is unassuming and just figures everyone is his friend, but afterwards says it was boring and he just wants to go home I don't even know who taught him that word!
I take him out, take him places read to him etc and he argues to go then has fun then says he didn't have fun.
It makes me sad because I try so hard, perhaps too hard now, but he has been like this since he started really coming into his own personality.
HELP

[margypops]

Get him onto some food supplements instead, B Complex, Vit C and fish oil and see what happens.I mean the son not the Husband although they have been known to respond to the supplements aswell!!

[Natta1980]

I just have noticed a comment about your husband not being enthusiastic - are you talking about my husband by any chance?

Look into a possible mood disorder

[Natta1980]

The first question is who diagnosed your 2.5 year old with ADHD? It is impossible. They usually do nto diagnose children yonger than 5 year old.  

My son was diagnosed with ASD after of series of clinical evaluations (very artificial environment), but his special ed teacher thinks that he may have mood regulation disorder rather than ASD. Which can look like ASD or ADHD at earlier age.

Do you have a family history of mood disorders? My husband has one and he has three conditions - he is either happy, angry, or lifeless. Extreme mood swings. I see exact same thing in my son.

By the way, let him help with the little ones - since he is bossing them around that may be exactly what he needs (I have only one, but can tell from interactions of my son with my friends' baby - it makes him feel very important and he finds fulfillment in pushing baby's stroller around

Good luck with your kiddies