4 year old temper tantrums at Monstesorri school

[23kmo]

My son just turned 4 on Nov. 14, 2005.  We have just moved him to a Montesorri school because we wanted him to begin to experience a quality childcare program.  Previously he was in a lower-ended rated daycare because I was in graduate school and we couldn't afford what we are paying now.  Anyway He just start on Nov. 21 and on the 21 and 23 my husband and I got terrible reports from his teacher, on the 22 he did extremely well because one of the teacher's worked with him one-on-one for the whole day.  He is having problems (tantrums and pushing chairs and tables) when he can't get his way.  They say he is one of the brightest kids in the class but he is using munipulative behavior to test them.  He is also having trouble staying focused in center area time.  At home he listens to what we say thought we do have to tell him to set down.  He is a very strongwilled individual that doesn't seem to respect authority yet.  His teacher claims that we shouldn't expect that at this age.  I am worried that he may be headed toward a diagnosis of ADHD however, I'm just not sure what is normal transition problems verses real emotional, behavioral problems, etc.  And when he does have these temper tantrums he alarms the classroom so much so that teachers on the playground can hear him.  As mentioned before these behaviors are not these extreme at home and I have no problems taking him out, etc.  Just in the school setting is when he becomes real defiant and angry when he can't get his way.  Please give suggestions.

[aprilgoudy]

Hi...I also have a 4 year old who won't pop in the potty. He never poops in his pants either though, he goes to his dresser and gets out his pull ups and takes off his pants and then poops. He does however pee in the potty and never has accidents (not including nights) in his pants. He turned 4 on Nov. 28 2005.

[DsMommy4]

Well i couldnt post a message on the potty training list, but i need some serious help.
my 4 year old will not poopoo in the potty, i have tryed sitting him on there, telling him he can get candy or a toy after he goes like a big boy.
am i do something wrong here?
he will pee in the potty every now and then but i dont understand why he wont do the other?
any help would be great.
he was behind with everything else he learned to do also.
like crawing, walking, talking, and now potty training.
i feel like this is all my fault, what should i do?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It should absolutely be expected that a child of four comply with parental and teacher directions. That is not to say that a child of four will not resist directions, but that should not deter the adults from managing the behavior and insisting on compliance. Your son has just enetred this program, so you'll have to see how things develop as he adjusts. It's too early to draw conclusions yet. The behavior you describe does not indicate ADHD but rather an oppositional temperament.