4 yr. old problems at daycare

[luckybridget]

HELP!!! As with other parents, I don't know what to do.  I have a 4 yr. old girl who is having behavorial problems at daycare.  At home, she sometimes have issues listening, but I've used researched methods to help with this and don't have a huge problem....Yesterday at daycare, she threw her scissors, then a chair.  Thank God she didn't throw them at anyone in particular, she has a problem dealing with frustration.  When she got home, I tried to REALLY talk to her to get as much info as I could but she cried and rambled.  She does say almost every single day that she does not like this school but she never gives me information that tells me there's something wrong with the school or teacher.  She rambled on about one of the kids saying she wasn't pretty, the kids won't be her friend, the school doesn't have the things that she has at home, She cut her paper fish by mistake, etc.. She ended her tearful monologue telling me she is a big girl, 4 yrs. old and just wants to do what she wants to do. She keeps saying she wants her old teacher from year ago who is at another daycare.  Each time, she promises not to do it again when I take her toys and cartoons away from her but that only lasts until the next flare up. These outbursts happen once a week. Other days, she does great which is why we've not moved her.  Should I continue to send her to this school when she says almost every single day that she doesn't want to go.  I've heard she's too young to be formally diagnosed with behavorial issues.  She starts Kindergarten next year but I can't wait until then if she has issues. I haven't taken her to the doctor for fear she'll end up taking drugs which I've heard have some pretty negative effects overall.  I want what's best for my child but I really don't know where to start.  We've only had these major episodes since she was moved from the 3 yr old to the 4 yr old class back in May.  Please gvie me somewhere to start! Thank you very much in advance for your reply.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Absolutely stick with the current plan. If she acts up at school, when she arrives home have her sit in time out for five minutes (quietly). At school the staff should do the same thing. If you take anything from her, do so only for that day, not for a long stretch.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

At her age, time out should occur in a chair, not in her room. Start the timer only when she is quiet. If she ic crying, fussing, etc., just quietly tell her that you will start the timer (show her the timer) when she is quiet. She will quickly learn to quiet down and complete the time out. If, after you start the timer, she makes any noise, strat it over. But the important thing at the outset is not to even begin the time until she is quiet.

[luckybridget]

For time outs: Do I start the time over & over until she quiets down.  When you put her in "time out" she screams and cries until my ears are about to explode. Is it okay if I close her in a room or shut the door on her? Is that too harsh?