Vagina rubbing problem

[Umismail]

Dear Sir /Madam,
Mt daughter (5years old) is started a very strange behaviour since she was less than one year she was rubbing her vagaina constently now she is at school and she is still doing it either while sitting on chair or with other objects this is rather embaressing to me and I tried to stop her from doing so she stopped doing it at home but rather she is doing it at school this is driving me crezy please advice what to do??

Many thanks
Umismail

[Gma_of_8]

It's Masturbation and only to be done in privacy. Tho it's normal, ask her questions about anyone touching her. Be sure you tell her Noone is to touch her private parts. So many woman say they were molested. So parents need to talk to their children. I got a book for children and read it to them. It's talks about very important things. So often the child is scared to speak up. So be sure your child knows, they must tell. I'm not implying your child was molested. However, it feels good for the child to touch herself so they must understand Noone else can touch them!
I agree don't shame her for Masturbation,  just that she only does it in privacy in her bedroom.
Also be sure the children don't ever see you being intimate with your partner or watches anything sexual online or TV.

[Gma_of_8]

It's called  Masturbation. You must continue telling your daughter this is private. I'm blown away that anyone would think it's OK for a child to do this at school. Parents must draw the line somewhere. Just as parents need to tell the child Noone is to touch her vagina. If you ignore this, your child could become a victim of being molested. We are to teach children about manners, respect etc. Other kids will start to make fun and even bully her!  Teach your child what's appropriate in public!  Don't shame her. Just say you don't do this anywhere but your bedroom.

[maggie19813]

My almost four year old started when shw got pitty trained she would lay on her belly hands down there i have been tellin her thats a private thing to do in ur room by ur self , sometimes she will go up in her room and do it, when hubby got onto her bout her hands in tyere she went to hands on outside of clothes and rubbin againstt pilloww and furniture, ive been remindin her that its to b done in her room only by herself, i told hubby to just tell her that needs to h done in ur room , i did har from my oldest that she did it in the shade  on play ground but should i tell the school now the stage shes ij or just wait and see if it becomes a problem at school. Also i find if shes constantly busy doing something she doesnt do it much , , should  i remind her each time or just distract her mind? I kbow this is normal but this can b frusterating as some drs here dont think its normal

[mamabalas]

I agree with RockRose.  This is a normal thing for both genders of children to do.  My son wanted to hold himself constantly for almost 2 years.  I never told him there was something wrong with him, never made it a huge big deal.  I did teach him that it was absolutely unnacceptable to do in front of others.  I wasn't going to ignore this and have him going into public doing this.  Other kids notice and remember these things.  We don't let them swear, pick their noses, stomp around throwing fits, etc.  We don't let them do this either.  When children do things that are innapropriate you tell them to stop.  Again and again if you have to.  You teach them what is acceptable and what isn't.  That is your job.  This just happens to be a touchier subject.  

[RockRose]

flmom,  would you let your daughter pick her nose and eat buggars without telling her this is inappropriate?  I bet not.  

This is worse,  and more likely to draw negative attention from peers and adults.  

Masturbation is normal,  in both genders,  but go do it in private.  Just like you don't pull your pants off and poop in the middle of the classroom or grocery store,  you don't masturbate there either.  

This behavior,  if left uncorrected,  will cause GREAT difficulty for the child by peers and other adults.  It's a parent's duty to shield them from this.  

[FLmom2grls]

My daughter has recently started doing the same thing. So far she has not done it in public but I have caught her many times at home and she also does it until she sweats. It worried me at first until I spoke to her pediatrician. He said that kids of both genders explore and that you shouldn't make a big deal about it. Kids have these urges to explore and if you make a big deal about it then they begin to think there is something wrong with them because they want to do it.

Doing it in public is a little different than home, of course. I would do exactly what Rucnfun said an thats try to distract from the unwanted behavior in public. Don't make a huge deal, just try to get her mind of it and on to something else. Kids will rebel if you make a big deal out of anything.

[RockRose]

She needs to be told that this is completely inappropriate.  If she were picking her nose and eating her buggars,  or opening her mouth to show chewed food,  no one would have the slightest hesitation to tell her to stop that.

Rucnfun,  this is socially inappropriate and will make for children making fun of your daughter and the OPs daughter.  This is something to make a big deal of,  exactly the same as if she were peeing or pooping in public.  

It's inappropriate.  In fact,  "we don't rub there" in public.  We don't.  

If they want to do this,  direct them to a private area like the bathroom or their bedrooms.  

It's part of parenting - this is considered completely unacceptable by society, and to act like it's fine is a disservice to your daughters like picking and eating buggars.  It's not acceptable.

[Rucnfun]

try not to make it a big deal. my daughter has been doing the same thing since she was little and she is now 4. if she does it at home just try to distract her with something fun. but dont keep saying 'oh we dont rub there etc' and dont make it a big deal then she may do it more. sometimes i just had to ignore it. but she does it in her car seat too and then i couldnt do anything about it just ignore it. she is getting better, but for awhile there she was doing it a lot and she would do it until she sweated!! she will grow out of it, but just try to distract her from it at home and then she'll eventually forget about it.