5 Year old boy and 3 year old girl 'poking' eachother

[proudmamma357]

I found my fiance's son who is 5 years old and our daughter who will be 3 in August in her bedroom together this morning and my daughter was very upset. She said her brother had 'hurt her privates.' After asking them both a couple of questions he told us they do it all the time together and to quote him 'when no one can see me.' When I asked my daughter what happend she told me he was poking her and he does it quite often. I talked to both of the kids about our privates, they are for our selves, and its not ok to be touching or looking at one anothers. Her brother kept saying 'but we do it all the time, it's really ok.'

I am very worried/scared. His father is being very defensive about the entire thing and says its normal. Where I do believe its normal for curiousity it worries me (obviously) that our daughter is being hurt. He mainly lives with his mother (3-4 days a week) should I be concerned he is being molested himself? Ive read some forums online with different answers.

I have told his father they will no longer be able to spend anytime alone with eachother, but he acts as if im overreacting. Am I? And what should I do about this? help!

[Dixie51]

This is definitely not ok and it is not normal. I am a survivor of a very abusive childhood. My father was a ********* and was constantly having my mother take care of my sister and I because our brothers were "playing" with us. It was my father not my brothers that initiated this behavior. I see red flags everywhere. Even your fiance comes under suspicion. Get help ASAP You are not over reacting. Do something. Please.

[Sandman2]

   You are not over reacting.  It is not normal for a 5 year old and a two year old to be doing this.  Besides the question of why this is going on - a major thing is that if she says no!  It stops.
    I think that at this point in time - they definitely should not spend time alone.
    You might want to buy the book - "I Said No! A kid-to-kid guide to keeping your private parts private" - found here - http://www.amazon.com/Said-guide-keeping-private-parts/dp/1878076493/ref=pd_sim_b_2
    Its aimed at the  4 year old and up crowd and has very good reviews.  Hopefully, this is just a matter of education and if so this will help.

[AnnieBrooke]

Do you think your husband is covering up something he knows?

Just for the sake of comparison, my son is 5 and he barely knows what an erection is.  He doesn't play with his little manhood or get stiff very often (that I see when he's bathing or anything like that).  His conversation is entirely innocent of any concept of a penis being used to poke someone else in the genitals.

I am very uncomfortable to hear this story, especially the dad's reaction.  

[specialmom]

Me too.  Investigate further . . .  as this is outside of 'normal' exploring.  good luck

[AnnieBrooke]

I think further investigation is in order.  That is far too sexual of behavior for a 5 year old to figure out on his own.  I would indeed suspect molestation or something close to it, and am sorry to hear his own father is being defensive.