Background: my 5 year old is in developmental pre-school for language delay and social skills (diagnosed with PDD-NOS, school leans toward anxiety disorder). Environment in pre-school is VERY structured (more structured than it will be in kindergarten). For the second half of the day he goes to daycare (I work full-time and have no option of working part-time since I am a main provider)
Over 9 months in pre-school he had 9 serious tantrums (lasting 15-20 minutes), a few agressive and defiant behaviors directed to teachers, never agressive towards children, his agression mostly stemming from some of his anxiety and fears.
He at times reacts in a different way to the same "trigger" - sometimes he is mildly annoyed, and sometimes he is very anxious and starts to fly off the handle. He temperament is very similar to his fathers', and he have seen his Dad exibiting all kinds of behaviors over the years. His father is a recovering alcoholic, and suffers from depression.
They have no problems with him in after-school daycare (when we moved and he just started, it was somewhat rough, now they have no complains aside from not listening at times). There was never a talk about kicking him out of any daycare. Never had issues with babysitters. He is a favorite of many daycare teachers - they love him very much (I understand them fully).
My question is that is it possible for school to push me into medicating my son? That was the impression I got (they suggested that I contact my pediatrician that could offer "solutions" for smoother transition.
Second question is whether we should hold off with kindergarten and let him mature a little bit - all of his teachers, even when they cite his "behaviors", still pretty sure he needs to start kindergarten on time. I am just not sure.
Please offer advice - I am very anxious and not sure what to do.