5 year old behavior issues at school

[winmill]

My son is 5 1/2 and when he wants to be is the most loving child I have ever been around.  However, it can't seem to get through more than a few days of school without getting into some sort of trouble.  He just this fall started kindergarter, but we have had this problem at both preschools that he attended.  This has been going on for 2 years now.  He is an extermely intelligence child, he is reading at a 3rd grade level and loves school work, he ask his teacher for extra homework on a regular basis and is happy to do it at home.  However, ever day he gets in trouble for things like make noises in class, touching the other kids, not listening or doing what his teachers tell him to do.  Basicly, anytime he does not get his way, he gets very upset.  He will cross his arms and puff out his chest and will refuse to look at you.  This does happen at home some, but not like it does at school.  When asked about his behavior he says that he just made a bad decision and can tell you what he should have done instead and will always promise that from now on he will make better decisions, however the next day comes and the same things happen again.  We don't know what to do next.  We have even seen a theorpist, who told us that basicly he is just being a boy.  HELP!!  If anyone has any suggestions, please share with me.

[Monkeyme1]

How are things now years later with your son?

[Browns30]

It appears that everyone that has posted has similar or the same issue with there child.  One thing that I find heartbreaking is that there just doesn't seem to be help.  It as if people think that either its your fault or your not doing your job as a parent.  I have been on the phone just about everyday this week with the school.  They know is on meds for ADHD but still have not done the requested eval that the doctor requested.  But they want me to rearrange my scheldue now in the morning so that don't have to deal with he before 8am.  What I would really like to know is there help out there for him?  He is only 6yrs old and I don't want him to fall throught the crack.  The same thing happened with his older brother got A's & B's but keep miss behaving but now it the 5th he got it together.  But it has taken a lot of praying, crying and fighting for someone to hear me.  But now since it is the same school I think they are just tired of my children!  It like they are totally different kids than the are at home.  I will put your children in my prayers as well.  But I really would like to know if anyone has survived this and came out with a positive and productive child and adult.  I love my children and want to help but want more can I do?  

[kwest1]

(and everyone else with 5 year old boys!!)  I was starting to think something was physically or emotionally wrong with my son.  My son has never been a problem.  Preschool was a breeze.  Our trouble started Nov. 2007.  The first time my son got in trouble in school, was to get suspended for fighting on the playground.  Since then his ability to control his anger at school has been a real problem.  I have received 3 other notes from the principal, saying his was in the office for pushing or hitting.  Yesterday, he got suspended for the second time.  I am at a loss because he does not really have this problem at home.  Why would it start so quickly?  He is one of the youngest in his class yet he finishes his work with no trouble. Maybe he does get bored. He is on the top end of his class reading and his problem solving skills are way beyond his age.  He finds things like writing horrible. I was wondering if it may be that he is physically changing faster than he is developing emotionally. I miss my sweet little boy that charmed everyone.  Now I am afraid to drop him off at school because I am afraid of the phone calls.

[juliebee72]

My son is 7yrs old and it's been the same story since pre-school.  He gets in trouble for talking out loud, not keeping his hands to himself, not following directions first time given, not showing respect.  I've been going to therapy and wondering if it's ADD or ODD.  But, then there are days even a week, that he is well behaved.  Teachers say he is bright and boderline gifted.  What has helped us is to have a daily behavior report as opposed to one at the end of the week.  Don't let the schools test your kids.  They will be biased and more likely to label them as ADHD and require them to be medicated, and some receive additional funding for special need kids.  It's nice to not feel so alone. You look around and see other children behaving and you feel so isolated and embaressed when the teacher has to call you.  The schools haven't said it's an issue yet.  I stress yet, but I'm waiting for the conference to be scheduled sometime.

[Momoftwo622]

Oh, how it sounds like we all have the same child!  Maybe the schools and teachers should be reading these posts!!!  I just feel like my sons teacher thinks she knows everything and I know nothing!  My son is very bright as well.  I ask him to please be as smart at school as he is at home, he says ok, then the phone calls and letters keep coming!  I am so seriously considering home schooling.  I don't want my child to be labeled as a troublemaker so soon!  I'm at the stage where I don't even want to answer the phone when I see the schools number on caller id!!
To ANGIE810 - if the medicine is not working, possibly it's because he is being treated for something that he does NOT have!  Don't give up.

[mybella]

My daughter is like yours, 5 1/2, very bright, very sweet and loving, wants to hug everyone. Chews on things, no potty issues, but is constantly wanting to hug everyone. She isn't aggressive, but complains of being "bored"  at school. She always wants to go, but doesn't seem to realize that she annoys the other kids with constant touching. She is busy, but seems to be better than before. The schools seem to think her need to hug people is a real problem..

[moonbeammomma]

Please see my question about my 4 yo son's problems at school - I think our kids might be related LOL.  I am about at my wit's end with the school situation - this school has been in business 40+ years and I'm surprised at the response I received from their director.

[nikki827]

Your story is a mirror of mine. Yesterday I put my son back in pull ups. While I am on maternity leave i have five different appointments for him.

[stacey34]

I WAS SO "EXCITED" PERSAY, TO SEE YOUR ARTICLE. MY DAUGHTER IS ALSO 5 1/2 AND JUST LAST WEEK WAS SENT TO THE PRINCIPLES OFFICE 4 TIMES!!! WE ASK HER HTE SAME QUESTIONS AND ALL SHE SAYS IS "I DON'T KNOW WHY I PUSHED OR KICKED".
LAST FRIDAY I ASKED HER TO TALK TO ME AND SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS UPSET WITH HERSELF?. WE ALSO HAVE A POTTY ISSUE WHERE HER NERVE ENDINGS DON'T RESPOND TO FEELING "THAT SHE HAS TO GO". SHE HAS AT LEAST ONE ACCIDENT A DAY AT SCHOOL AND I'M NOT SURE IF THIS IS PART OF OUR PROBLEM.
MY DAUGHTER IS ALSO QUITE SMART,AND IS JUST STARTING TO READ, DEFINATELY NOT AT 3RD GRADE LEVEL BUT NON THE LESS, MAYBE SHE IS BORED. WE HAVE A MEETING AT SCHOOL NEXT WEEK AND I'M AFRAID THAT SHE WILL "DIAGNOSED" AS ADHD. SHE HAS NO FEAR OF ANYTHING, NOT EVEN US AS HER PARENTS. I  REALLY NEED SOME HELP!!
STACEY34

[Dark_smash]

Wow,you are right though..he's just being a boy.Here is a little sugestion.i have many but am a very busy mommy so here goes..Try moving him out of class and into another,this may not help and if it doesnt than here is another..try telling him that he is the best little learner in school and if he comes home without a bad report from school then every friday or some other day you will rig him a candy jar or make his favorite dinner that day.hope this helps!

[Angie810]

Wow I'm not alone!  Every post I've read, it's like I'm reading about my son.  He was diagnosed with  ADHD at the age of 9, and stimulant medication has never really worked for him.  I started behavior therapy for him last year and the therapist seems to think he is bi-polar.  He has problems at school everyday with the same examples that I have read.  It's so frustrating, here is a young man who has gotton A and B's in school, and has consistently gotton a failing grade in behavior.  I don't like that the behavior has a label and he has to be medicated, but there are no other options, as I can't afford to home school him.  Good luck to all of you.

[nikki827]

Reading all of your posts is somewhat a breath of fresh air. my son is five just started kindergarten and is out of control. i am so stressed but reading your posts maybe its just something they will have to grow out of. I have had him observed before and they said he was very intellegent( not on a third grade level) but very "active". I am 35 wks pregnant with yet another boy so i hope its a temporary stage. thank you.

[shenandoah971]

there never was a book on being a parent, hello! I wish there was. Expecting a five year old to cope with adult world and making them grow up fast is not going to happen. Get down to there level when it comes to rewards. Mis behaving from a 5 year old can be so freakin insane. But believe the more that little mind matures so dosen't the kid, Forcing will not get you anywhere medications will destroy the spirit, so again 5 year old stages are like this do not worry god bless u

[Lirparob]

Well everyone it must definately be the boy thing.  I have five boys and I also have a kindergartner who is doing the same thing.  Not keeping hands to himself, not listening, not following directions, and not to mention just being a BOY.  I constantly have to take phone calls from his teacher.  I really am thinking about changing schools, but then again is that the right thing.  Good luck to all of you and hopefully everything does work out in the long run!

[MOMOFBOY5]

Thank God I am not the only person with this problem. My son is also in kindergarten and gets his "pin" moved daily. It is always for the same thing - He can't keep his hands to himself. He is smart and can do the work no problem. Maybe it's just because they are bored with the work. Because it seems to be the same worksheet everyday. So maybe this is the norm for boys right now. I don't think they have ADHD or anything like that. I just think maybe we need to give it a little more time and see if it cannot be worked out on it's own. Maybe (hopefully) they will just grow out of it.

[yonnie26]

My son is having the same problemits like his teacher gives him the same write your name sheet and he gets bored quick and starts to play. But every note that gets sent home it always starts with, he is a very smart boy but his behavior is interrupting the class.

[mom needing help]

I AM HAVING THE SAME PROBLEMS WITH MY CHILD.  HE IS NOT AS SMART AS YOUR SON BUT THE SAME ISSUES WITH SCHOOL.  HIS TEACHER STATES THAT MOST OF THE BOYS IN HIS CLASS ACT THE SAME WAY BUT I AM NOT SURE.  GOOD LUCK TO YOU.  I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.  I AM HOPING THAT MY CHILD DOES NOT HAVE ADHD.

[ty mama]

my son is having sinnilar problems.  His teacher thinks this is serrious, I know he is smart but kindergrden has not brought out the best in him.  Keep me posted.