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Child Behavior Forum
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Avatar universal

5 year old ready for kindergarten?

My son is in an ecdd program through preschool and his teachers are recommending he stay in the program for another year because they say he is socially imature for his age he has a seperation anxiety problem and has just been diagnosed with adhd/anxiety disorder by his psychologists and they want to start him on the medication ritilan and possibly a med for his anxiety. His therapist recommends he move on to kindergaten beacuause she seems to think once he starts taking his meds and starts seeing her for therapy he will be just fine in kindergarten and she also said that by law the school has to provide him any kind of special help he needs such as speech,occupational therapy and so on in a regular classroom setting. My problem is i feel if I hold him back he is just taking a step backward dealing with the seperation anxiety which he still has now in the preschool program and I also believe he needs to be with kids his own age.His therapist also says once he starts taking his meds and with thaerpy the immaturaty should stop because that is a sympton of having adhd.
I WAS JUST WONDERING YOUR VIEWS ON THIS SUBJECT because everytime I mention him going to kindergarten to his teac hers they tell me they don't think it is a good idea and that he will be a nervous wreck there which really discouages mean and also it seems like since I have told the teacher of my wishes of him to attend kindergarten now when I pick him up they always have something negative to say about what my son did that day which they never did before. I was also wondering if you know if these schools recieve so much money per child who attends these classes. Any comments or suggestions you or anyone else who has gone through this I really like to hear from them. I only want what is best for my son. Thank you
7 Responses
242606 tn?1243786248
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Since the 'academic' demands of kindergarten are limited, I generally support the notion of youngsters proceeding to kindergarten from pre-school. If your son ultimately needs to be retained, that can happen at the end of his kindergarten year. To make the decision to hold him back in pre-school is probably not necessary. I think the guidance you are receiving from his therapist is prudent.
Avatar universal
First suggestion is stay away from drugs like ritalin. My cousing took it because they said her had ADHD, but he was just a very rambunctious little boy. Maybe your son is just very active and needs a little extra time each day to run around and work out some extra energy. My cousin had to leave the military because after taking the ritalin as a kid, he was not able to make split second decisions that could  have affected his unit, so they discharged him on a medical discharge.  I think people lable kids who are very active or have a short attention span as having ADHD or other disorders, and they are just as normal as the next kid, just needing more time to work out their energy.  My daughter has a classmate though who was held back in Kindergarten this year by her mom because her mom did not think she was mature enough to go into the first grade. This was her choice, not the school's choice, and it was the best thing for her child. You need to decide if he is ready to advance into Kindergarten, do not let a preschool teacher dictate to you when you child should go to kindergarten or do anything else for that matter.  Some teachers seem to overstep their bounds and they sound like they are doing that.  My child goes to private school and they are just wonderful at letting me know if she is having any issues, but they offer help, not critisism!  I will also say that her former pediatrician's nurse practitioner who did her 5 year before school physical told me that she WOULD NOT be able to enter Kindergarten and that she should get speech therapy as well as be evaluated by the school system who could get her the help she needed!!! I was so ticked off, and they only reason she said this to us was the my daughter would not draw her a picture of a MAN, and she would not talk to her because she just flat out did not like her.  I was so mad I switched her to another practice.  They also had my other daughter sent for speech therapy which was a waste of time and money because all they did was tick her off and cause her to get so upset that she threw a huge tantrum which they say is soo bad for her to do....well if I was 3 and you made me mad I would pitch a fit too!  I think you should get another opinion on your son before you consider him taking any medications, and I think a child so young being in therapy is just a waste of money as well.  I think the doctors have a racket with each other and they just keep sending you to therapists who are only trying to get more money from your insurance company.  I would get another opinion on the therapy and medications.  You might also talk with your son's classmates/parents about what they see each day since they are in class with him all day, and a teacher can be very critical espeicially if something has angered them, like the child's parent!  Get more opinions and follow your son's lead, if he thinks he is ready to move on to Kindergarten, then give it a try.
Avatar universal
In reading you post I thought a lot of my son. He is diagnosed with bipolar and he is taking meds. Many people have mixed opinions on meds but for me it has helped.
As far as school I would move him on to kindergarten, they can evaluate him in kindergarten and they can provide extra learing skills for im.

ASK FOR A 504 PROGRAM. also for an IEP (INDIVIDUAL EDUCATION PLAN). This will allow your child to have special circumstances in the classroom. It is required by law (504) peoples with disabilities and the (IEP) Under the Education laws.
Go to the priciple of the school and request a meeting with the teacher, school guidance, school psychologist, and vice principle and let them know what is going on and that you would like him evaluated for these programs (504 and IEP). These programs allow my sons more time for assignments and also award him for good behavior. He was also not timed on the FCAT this year. If you make your school aware of what is going on they are usually willing to help as much as they can. They also have classes that are specifically designed for children that have trouble with socializing. Don't old him back just be very knowledgeable about what is going on and very honest with the school.
Avatar universal
Thank you for your suggestions. If you don't mind me asking how old was your son when diagnosed and how did he do in preschool?
We just went yesterday to the pediatrician and he prescribed my son ritilan 5 mg and told us not to start the meds until saturday. Tonite we have conferences with his preschool ecdd teachers and I am so nervous because I know they are going to tell us that our son is not ready for kindergarten and I do not want to argue with them but I think it's better he move on to kindergarten because I feel with him having the add and the anxiety its not something that is going to be solved by staying in the ecdd preschool with kids younger than him another year beacause he will still have this next year too. Maybe I am wrong but that is just how I feel. Thanks again for your excellent feedback too about the meds because all I have been hearing is about how bad they are for children.
Avatar universal
My son had difficulty since he was about 21/2, but I could not find a thera[ist who would see him that young.  He went to preschool at 3 and he was ok somedays but others were difficult. The teachers really did not say anything until he attended a preschool within the public school system at 4. At 5 he was lieing and out of control at times so I got a counselor and he was diagnosed with ODD (obstinence Difyance Disorder) sorry about the spelling. We went with this diagnosis for a year and a half but eventually the therapist said he needed more than she could do. He had stopped the lieing but he had begun to show a lot of anger and had a lot of rages. His counselor thought ADHD at forst but then she said it may be bipolr. We hired a psychiatrist and sure enough it was bipolar. At this point he was out of control at home and school. His father (we are divorced) did not agree but I put him on the meds - geodon and lemectal. I was very open with the school, but last year we had a horrible principle. This year the meds were having an adverse affect on him, meds can stop wotking because children grow or their bodies change. His psychiatrist would only up his meds not change them and when he would up them my son would just get worse. I had to fore him and we have a new psychiatrist now and he is taking zyprexa and we are still in the early phases so I don't know if this will work. Bipolar is complex, he has ups which are hyperactivity and lows which are anger and rages. He can switch with the snap of a finger, but we will get through this and get him stable.
I told you a brief story because I want you to understand that this is your child and if you feel your child is not getting the care they deserve you have the right to seek better treatment, follow your geut feeling.

The public sxhool system is bound by law to allow for a psychological evaluation. If your child id diagnosed with ADD then take your diagnosis with you to the school and request a meeting with the teachers, principle, guidance,school social worker and school psychologist. Tell them your concerns and ask them about a 504 plan and an IEP (individual education plan) These 2 things allow my son alot of special things in the class. The schools have special classes for emotional issues and behavior issues but they try to kepp children in the regular classes. My son is in a regular class and his teacher is working with him. She sends home a daily report on his behavior and that helps. He is also in a lower reading category so he does not get stressed out, that is his bad subject (can not concentrate).
The best thing you can do is send your child to school and take advantage of the programs they offer. Meds are not all bad, just go with your gut feeling and find the one that works for your child. Search the internet for meds that work for ADD read up and get all the info you can. Also, ask your therapist about peer droups (children your childs age with similar problems) here in Florida they do have them but they are hard to find so keep searching. It has taken me 8 months to find one. I like the idea of my son being able to feel like there are other children with the same problem, they get together and discuss how to cope. Good luck and just remember there is help out there and if your child needs meds don't listen to what ervyone is saying, sometimes they work and your childs will have a better life. It is our job as parents to do whatever it takes to give them the opoortunity.
Oh and I talk about his bipolar openly in front of my son so he know that it is ok and that he can feel comfortable talking about it.
Avatar universal
Hello- I was just reading your post- My son is 4 and we highly suspect bi-polar.
I read that you live in Florida- we just moved here last year, to the Kissimmee area. If you are anywhere nearby, and would provide me with the name of your son's therapist, I'd greatly appreciate it. As you know, bipolar in very young children is hard to diagnose, as it has many similarites to ADHD. I'm concerned that if I don't find the right doctor for him, they will classify him as ADHD, which he is not.
Thanks for any help or suggestions.
Karen
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