5 year old sexuality??? Normal or Not?

[momma_french]

My 5 year old son was caught touching his cousins private parts.  I grounded him and told him that it was wrong.  He didn't seem to think it was wrong even though I have caught him doing this in the past with his 3 year old sister and told him it was wrong.  I don't know what to do?  He said he doesn't know why he likes to "suck pe pe's"  He has never seen anyone do anything sexual and he has also never seen any movies to show him this.  I don't know where he gets it from but I am very freaked out.  What should I do?

[momma_french]

Thank you for your comments they really helped I had a talk with my son and explained the "good" touch "bad" touch.  He says he understands and will not touch anyone again.  

[DustyL]

I totally disagree with Redds173.... Children DO molest Children. S/he may be to sheltered to notice but as a local police officer I disagree 100000%!!!!!

[Redds173]

Sure, tell your children is not OK to explore natural sexual instincts. And then wonder why they are sexually repressed, suffer depression, anxiety, confusion, gender identity problems, and overall contribute to the problems of humanity and society. Sure, its ok to perpetuate the mistakes your parents made, and then some. Let your children be. Teaching your children about rape, molestation, and police inhibit children and irronialy create these problems when they reach adulthood. You should think twice about punishing and telling your children its not ok. It is Ok, it is normal, and it is natural. Children do not molest children. They are playing and exploring their humanity. We were not created to be efficient robotic employees of society, we are created to procreate and continue the species and sexuality is the first task a child will handle, before he/she decides a career that serves others and their gain is their meaning in life, while their sexuality causes problems and conflicts and crumbles their self-esteem. These issues are 21st century problems created by a rational society who has lost touch with its humanity. It is sad to read some of these responses here, who are from parents conditioned to thimk this way. Think for yourself, with your own mind not with this society's standards and dictates. Just because everyone does it or thinks it, doesn't make it true or right to your child's future mental and sexul health self.

[greendog26]

I have to agree with DustyL. Just keep doing what you are doing.

[momma_french]

Thanks

[DustyL]

It's not a phase.... it's something that he was taught is ok and it's going to take a lot of time and effort on your behalf to change it. be persistant and like I said explain to him the ractions that can happen as a result from him touching someone in a "no no" place. Asking your family to re-enforce it wouldn't be bad either. I don't think what he's doing to the extent is normal. But "touching HIMSELF" is completely normal.

[momma_french]

This started when he was 3 and I know of at least 7 in appropriate times he has touched another child his age's genitalia.  How much longer for this phase to be over It's driving me crazy.  I put a call in to his ped but I think they will tell me the same thing everyone else did.  "it's normal".  It doesn't feel normal.  But I know that's only b/c I know that it's wrong.

[DustyL]

NO do not punish him. Continue the talks about good touch bad touch, keep the door open. If everytime he tells you something like that he gets punished, eventually he'll stop telling you so he doesn't get punished. get it?! Tell him that what the little girl said was wrong and you called her parents and told them (even tho u didn't). Remember he's 5, the only reason you or I know it's wrong is because we were taught. So teach him, allow for questions, even the hard ones, and answer all of them!!! Also another thing you could do is give him the bad words. Explain rape, molestation, force and explain what happens if he doesn't stop when someone says NO. He should already be familiar with the police, explain what they will do and even explain jail. My kids are 4 and they are well aware that Jail is not some place they want to be. If you don't see a change or are still concerned talk to your ped about the issue and maybe s/he has some other suggestions. Overall I do agree that it's normal for the "experimentation" Good Luck!

[momma_french]

Thank you I feel better somewhat.  I don't think he was molested I think the little girl that he used to and I say used to because he first started this when he was hanging around her at 4 yo. I know her step dad but not mom and I don't know what she saw or heard at home but My son told me that she is the one who told him about this.  She now lives over an hour away.  Needless to say they don't play any more but he still remembers.  He tells me everything.  He didn't think that this was bad behavior.  Should I keep him in punishment?  I feel awful but I also feel I should follow through.

[kayden922]

First of all I can understand your concern for this sexual behavior. Many children at this age explore their bodies, and for some apparent reason on other children as well. Don't for one second think that its not normal. Because the majority of them all do it. Sometimes we just don't see them do it. You may find some little boys, pulling at their private parts, taking a blanket and squeezing it on their private parts and also just playing with it, and even in other cases humping each other. Not that they know exactly what they are doing, but they understand that the little private area has a feeling. Don't freak out this will pass. As odd as it may sound you may have to let him explore himself in private, but explain to him that he CANNOT touch anyone else because its not his and its not right.  
As far as him saying he doesn't know why he likes to suck Pe Pe's. Sweetie, he has either seen this done before, or someone is doing this to him. How would a 5 year old little boy know to put his mouth on another little boys pe pe. This is not normal. Someone has either made him do it to them, or someone has done it to him. Other wise he has watched someone do it. Does he go to day care?  If so, find out if they have an open door policy, meaning can you go there to check on your child any time of day. If they do not, this maybe a little unsual. They may say, you can come only during nap time, or something crazy like that... don't beleive them. Strangers have your child during the day, anything can happen. I pray for you that noone is molesting him. He may never say who. But don't be angry at him if he chooses not to say anything to you about this, but in a way you have to get his trust to find out how he knows this, its very disturbing. I'll pray for you!!

[momma_french]

Please help