Aa
5yr old daughter misbehaving in Kindergarten
My 5yr old daughter just started Kindergarten about 3 weeks ago. She was going to her daycare/nursery school since she was 3mths old prior to this. She is very smart and knows a lot that other 5 yr old children do not know yet. She can read from a sight word book write every every upper case and lower case, spell certain words, read certain words, easy addition and subtraction. She is having a behavioral problem in class. The teacher writes me notes about 3 times a week telling me she is constantly calling out, getting out of her seat to get tissues with out rasing her hand, waiting to use the handicap bathroom in the restroom (becasue its bigger), making noises loudly when suppose to be doing her work, wobbling on her chair. The teacher said she is not calling out answers but she is calling out random things such as, I have to go to the bathroom, I need a tissue,...etc. When they are doing their work at their tables she is grabbing the other kids pencial cases and playing with them. Her daycare said she never gave them a problem and that she just has to get use to it. The teacher uses a color card system, Every student starts with a green cardm they go to yellow, orange, and red. They get numbers on their calenders when their behavior is out of hand. Last week i received 3 notes about calling out and wobbling in chair. Friday I received a note saying she is doing much better. This Monday and Tuesday she gets numbers for things that she is doing. I told her she couldnt go to dance class last night and she couldnt play her nintendo wii or gameboy. What do you recommed me do with disciplinging her. She goes to dance class 3 times a week and she alwasy has parties to attend. I dont know if punishing her is the right thing to do? May you please help? Does she need to be evaluated? Thank you. Concerned Mom
I served more than 200 kids in my 5 years as a Pre-K teacher. My wife is a School Psychologist, I am very familiar with the topic.
From what you are prescribing, it seems that you have a very nice little girl.
I don't think your she needs an evaluation.
This is what I think:
Your daughter was used to the previous caregiver teaching style, and now she needs to get used to a different environment. Notice that she went to daycare for most of her life. Imagine you switching jobs after 30 years in one company. She doesn't comprehend the differences of both settings just yet. It will take her some more time to get use tho the new routines, rules and expectations.
It doesn't seem like she has a condition, since you mention she didn't raised any red flags before. Very often we get worried for all the things we see/ear about disabilities and syndromes. A piece of advise, don't listen to any one who is not a professional and come talking about ADHD or any other disability. Would you let a interior designer give you car repair advise? There are tons of people misinformed about Special Ed (specially teachers)
She will be fine, it just take some time for both her and her teacher to get to know each other. I imagine the ratio of student the teacher is dealing with now is higher than the daycare. As a teacher, it takes months to get to really know all your students and develop individualized strategies to address all their needs. In fact the first weeks are an struggle since many students are going throughout so many adaptation issues that you simple can't comfort everybody.
You as a parent, work on establishing a relations ship with the teacher and partner with her to support her at home. Talk to your daughter and find out how is she coping with the changes. Show her few SIMPLE strategies to deal with things like paying attention, or focusing on her job. The consequences you are implementing at home not necessary effective since removing her electronics don't help her get better at whatever she is doing at school.
What is going to help her is giving her tools to address specific behaviors. Focus on ONE behavior, give her ONE SIMPLE strategy to deal with it, follow up with it until she master it. Once is under control, go to the next. Don't punish her for something she simply doesn't know how to do. She eventually will get it.
Check out this video of a Psychologist training teachers: http://youtu.be/X1wRkd7c6lA
I hope your daughter catch up quickly :D
From what you are prescribing, it seems that you have a very nice little girl.
I don't think your she needs an evaluation.
This is what I think:
Your daughter was used to the previous caregiver teaching style, and now she needs to get used to a different environment. Notice that she went to daycare for most of her life. Imagine you switching jobs after 30 years in one company. She doesn't comprehend the differences of both settings just yet. It will take her some more time to get use tho the new routines, rules and expectations.
It doesn't seem like she has a condition, since you mention she didn't raised any red flags before. Very often we get worried for all the things we see/ear about disabilities and syndromes. A piece of advise, don't listen to any one who is not a professional and come talking about ADHD or any other disability. Would you let a interior designer give you car repair advise? There are tons of people misinformed about Special Ed (specially teachers)
She will be fine, it just take some time for both her and her teacher to get to know each other. I imagine the ratio of student the teacher is dealing with now is higher than the daycare. As a teacher, it takes months to get to really know all your students and develop individualized strategies to address all their needs. In fact the first weeks are an struggle since many students are going throughout so many adaptation issues that you simple can't comfort everybody.
You as a parent, work on establishing a relations ship with the teacher and partner with her to support her at home. Talk to your daughter and find out how is she coping with the changes. Show her few SIMPLE strategies to deal with things like paying attention, or focusing on her job. The consequences you are implementing at home not necessary effective since removing her electronics don't help her get better at whatever she is doing at school.
What is going to help her is giving her tools to address specific behaviors. Focus on ONE behavior, give her ONE SIMPLE strategy to deal with it, follow up with it until she master it. Once is under control, go to the next. Don't punish her for something she simply doesn't know how to do. She eventually will get it.
Check out this video of a Psychologist training teachers: http://youtu.be/X1wRkd7c6lA
I hope your daughter catch up quickly :D
COMMUNITY LEADER
I do have experiences with school boards and attorneys - and frankly, I think that your could use your money and your time in better ways.
The truth is that if your child does have ADHD - its difficult for even an experienced teacher to work with them. However, it can be successfully done! But a "young, inexperienced and was brought on to handle the overflow of kindergarten" teacher does not have much of a chance. The out of date discipline system she is using is another example of this. It will work with some kids, but never with a child with ADHD. I imagine it was the best the other teacher or principal could do to help her.
Kindergarten is a really tough level to teach. The kids need to move and to be doing different activities about every 15 min. There is just no way for a new teacher to have that kind of class management skills (unless, she is following exactly what one of the older teachers are doing).
Unfortunately, their incompetence is not helping your child. But its also not illegal.
If you intend to stay at this school - given the power structure that you have mentioned - then your best chance of helping your child is to try and work with them.
I would suggest that you learn all you can about ADHD and start to educate the teachers about it. If he is diagnosed with either that or ADD, then you will have legal rights and the ability to do a lot more.
I suggest you check out this link - http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what/WWK1. Or here for ADD - http://www.help4adhd.org/about/what/WWK8 . You will find the resources to help you.
Also I am also the CL on the ADHD forum here- http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175. The book I recommend the most for parents is - "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.
Finally, what you are going through is not unusual. I have witnessed teachers doing this to kids for more then 30 years. Its just sad that it still is going on. But, I really do think that you will do more for your child at this point by trying to help them help him. Please post here or over on the ADHD site you have any more questions or need more resources. good Luck!!
The truth is that if your child does have ADHD - its difficult for even an experienced teacher to work with them. However, it can be successfully done! But a "young, inexperienced and was brought on to handle the overflow of kindergarten" teacher does not have much of a chance. The out of date discipline system she is using is another example of this. It will work with some kids, but never with a child with ADHD. I imagine it was the best the other teacher or principal could do to help her.
Kindergarten is a really tough level to teach. The kids need to move and to be doing different activities about every 15 min. There is just no way for a new teacher to have that kind of class management skills (unless, she is following exactly what one of the older teachers are doing).
Unfortunately, their incompetence is not helping your child. But its also not illegal.
If you intend to stay at this school - given the power structure that you have mentioned - then your best chance of helping your child is to try and work with them.
I would suggest that you learn all you can about ADHD and start to educate the teachers about it. If he is diagnosed with either that or ADD, then you will have legal rights and the ability to do a lot more.
I suggest you check out this link - http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what/WWK1. Or here for ADD - http://www.help4adhd.org/about/what/WWK8 . You will find the resources to help you.
Also I am also the CL on the ADHD forum here- http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175. The book I recommend the most for parents is - "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.
Finally, what you are going through is not unusual. I have witnessed teachers doing this to kids for more then 30 years. Its just sad that it still is going on. But, I really do think that you will do more for your child at this point by trying to help them help him. Please post here or over on the ADHD site you have any more questions or need more resources. good Luck!!
I came in here to look for help to address what I feel is harassment and targeting of my son.
My son turned six and is in kindergarten. Every other day I get a note on some trivial thing his teacher has decided is worth targeting him for. Today he wa told to change his color card( they use this negative behavior modification system) because he sat in the wrong spot on the carpet. Seriously!
My son is highly intelligent, all his pre-school and day care teachers have said so, sweet, generous and very social according to them. He does have to be redirected, impulsive at times, and has a tough time following directions. He does do better in smaller groups. He does not respond well when he is humiliated in front of others.
The past few months my son has been very emotional, crying a lot, saying no one likes him, he is 'stupid' 'dumb', and he is 'bad'. I finally came to the realization that my son has been demorilized, he is defeated by being always told to change his color card. I asked him if his teacher ever said nice things like good job , or you did that well, he said no. I asked twice, and he said no. I asked does she say nice things to the other kids, he said yes, all the time and to all of them. It broke my heart.
The background-she is young, inexperienced and was brought on to handle the overflow of kindergarten students the second week of school. Her mother and sister work at the school, her best friend is married to a teacher there, and she was a student there herself. Needless to say, nepitism, and complete denial from the principle when I have complained.
I asked to remove his from her class and put him in with a more experienced teacher. Denied. Her sister works the pre-care and after school care and is horrible. Most of the time she sits with her college work or is readinga book . My son recently was being hurt physically by another child in after school care, and I complained to the director and principle. Next day my son gets a note again, tnis time because I had forgoten to put his folder back in his backpack.
The art teacher sent my son to the principles office because another child claimed my son hit him. My son told her he didnt, she said I dont believe you. Why? becaue My son had come into art on 'orange' from his teacher for minor things, not raising his hand, not standing at attention in line. The other child is always on 'green'. When I asked the principle to question the rt teacher and requestd a meeting, she made excuses and said she may be having surgery.
I now am meeting with the principle, teacher and counselor and asked the art teacher be there as well.
I also requested all the teachers my son comes into contact with fill out the questionaire the perdiatrician asked to determine if my son may have ADHD.
I asked my son today if any of his teachers, art, library,music computers ever say nice things or good job. He said no, I asked how does that make you feel, he said sad.
Oh yes, the lucnh cashier made my son cry twice, for taking his money I gave him for a snack ( I pay his lunch and breakfast every month) and telling him 'he has a balance'! A six year old has a balance. I complained to the principle, and yet it happened again.
I I have written the schoolmboard, and feel I need an attorney to file a case
Has anyone had success with going to an attorney or school borad. They have damaged my son's self esteem , and demotivated a bright kind kid, who had nothing more then a little ADD..
My son turned six and is in kindergarten. Every other day I get a note on some trivial thing his teacher has decided is worth targeting him for. Today he wa told to change his color card( they use this negative behavior modification system) because he sat in the wrong spot on the carpet. Seriously!
My son is highly intelligent, all his pre-school and day care teachers have said so, sweet, generous and very social according to them. He does have to be redirected, impulsive at times, and has a tough time following directions. He does do better in smaller groups. He does not respond well when he is humiliated in front of others.
The past few months my son has been very emotional, crying a lot, saying no one likes him, he is 'stupid' 'dumb', and he is 'bad'. I finally came to the realization that my son has been demorilized, he is defeated by being always told to change his color card. I asked him if his teacher ever said nice things like good job , or you did that well, he said no. I asked twice, and he said no. I asked does she say nice things to the other kids, he said yes, all the time and to all of them. It broke my heart.
The background-she is young, inexperienced and was brought on to handle the overflow of kindergarten students the second week of school. Her mother and sister work at the school, her best friend is married to a teacher there, and she was a student there herself. Needless to say, nepitism, and complete denial from the principle when I have complained.
I asked to remove his from her class and put him in with a more experienced teacher. Denied. Her sister works the pre-care and after school care and is horrible. Most of the time she sits with her college work or is readinga book . My son recently was being hurt physically by another child in after school care, and I complained to the director and principle. Next day my son gets a note again, tnis time because I had forgoten to put his folder back in his backpack.
The art teacher sent my son to the principles office because another child claimed my son hit him. My son told her he didnt, she said I dont believe you. Why? becaue My son had come into art on 'orange' from his teacher for minor things, not raising his hand, not standing at attention in line. The other child is always on 'green'. When I asked the principle to question the rt teacher and requestd a meeting, she made excuses and said she may be having surgery.
I now am meeting with the principle, teacher and counselor and asked the art teacher be there as well.
I also requested all the teachers my son comes into contact with fill out the questionaire the perdiatrician asked to determine if my son may have ADHD.
I asked my son today if any of his teachers, art, library,music computers ever say nice things or good job. He said no, I asked how does that make you feel, he said sad.
Oh yes, the lucnh cashier made my son cry twice, for taking his money I gave him for a snack ( I pay his lunch and breakfast every month) and telling him 'he has a balance'! A six year old has a balance. I complained to the principle, and yet it happened again.
I I have written the schoolmboard, and feel I need an attorney to file a case
Has anyone had success with going to an attorney or school borad. They have damaged my son's self esteem , and demotivated a bright kind kid, who had nothing more then a little ADD..
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, I am also the CL for the ADHD forum so feel free to post over there if you have any questions on that line.
I have never been a big fan of behavioral color scale, because I don't think it is a very effective way to change behavior. And if all she is doing is using the scale and writing referrals - she will have problems with bright, bored kids.
If you want to get to the bottom of this - you need to visit the classroom and watch what is going on. After awhile your son will forget that you are there - so definitely plan to spend several hours.
By the way, it does no good to punish him at home for what he does in school. The time span is to great for him to draw any connection. What you can do is to practice at home things he should be doing at school. It will carry over after a while.
I have never been a big fan of behavioral color scale, because I don't think it is a very effective way to change behavior. And if all she is doing is using the scale and writing referrals - she will have problems with bright, bored kids.
If you want to get to the bottom of this - you need to visit the classroom and watch what is going on. After awhile your son will forget that you are there - so definitely plan to spend several hours.
By the way, it does no good to punish him at home for what he does in school. The time span is to great for him to draw any connection. What you can do is to practice at home things he should be doing at school. It will carry over after a while.
Im so glad i found this post and to know im not the one. My son is 5 yrs old and in Kindergarten and is going through the same thing. He is on the behavior color scale and since he began the school year the teacher has him on red and it seems like every other day she has a complain about him. He tends to tell me sometimes that he gets bored or that he just cant control himself ( a phrase i believe he learned from his teacher). I already had a sit down with the teacher and have to schedule another one this week because just today she wrote him a referral. I have also felt like hes this "problem child" and is causing chaos in class. This is when it gets interesting, my son is a HONOR STUDENT. He gets nothing but As and one B in his report card.He is very out going sociable and bright, ???? So why the misconduct??? Family and friends have suggested maybe hes to advanced, maybe the teacher has no patience and doesnt have the childrens respect, ive thought about ADHD...im just confused and frustrated and need to get to the bottom of this as well.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments
