6 year old son - Acting out, Misbehaving

[Macejsc]

I have a 6 year old little boy (Just turned 6 in Sept.) he's usually great at home and has been excellent at school until recently.  A typical day with us is we will get up between 6:30a and 7:00a, we get his clothes on and my wife and I get ready for work.  4 out of 5 days we usually have to argue with him about not listening to us.  One of us will tell him to get his shoes on, or to get his backpack, and we might tell him 5 or 6 times before he does it.  Then he's consistantly talking back or has a response to anything we say.  I can tell him to be quiet and not to say another word, and he'll ALWAYS come back with, "But Daddy..." or "I just wanna..."  I cannot get through to him that there are times he needs to be quiet and not say anything.  I know I have a temper problem at times and I know when I'm loosing it so I always try to get away from the situation before it gets to that point.  I use a combination of time outs, and level's of discipline to help prevent things from getting out of control.  We start with a time-out, if he continues, then he gets grounded from things he enjoys doing (TV, Video Games, Computer, going outside, etc), if it still continues, then I will spank him with my hand, and if it still continues, I usually pull out the belt.  I never spank even as hard as I do with my hand with the belt, but it's the emotional impact it has that I have to go to that level that really upsets him.  9 out of 10 times, I relinquish the issue to my wife if it gets to that point, just because by then I'm at my peak.  Everytime he gets in trouble we sit down and talk about it afterwards.  I have sat and we have both cried because I want to know what's going on and what's wrong to find out why he's acting out like he is.  He had a note sent home the other day from school that he stabbed a kid in the throat with a fork!!  He's never had issues like this before where he has been violent at school or daycare and he's been in daycare since he was 3 months old.  He was the perfect kid in daycare, always helpful, always kind and say thank you, and since he started kindergarten and pre-k at the school he's at now it's like he's a different kid.  He tries to push his weight around and when we push back, he breaks down and just crys or starts doing things like stomping off or when he gets in trouble (time out or spanking) he screams at the top of his lungs no matter the severity of anything.  He can bump his head and it not even turn the spot he hit red, and he'll act out like he just shattered his skull.  It's just disheartening the way he acts some times and makes me feel like everything we've done in the past was wasted and we are failing as parents.  Any suggestion would be helpful.  Is this normal periods of behavior for him or is he just absorbing every bad behavior he can from school?? LOL

[Macejsc]

Any other ideas?  All input is appreciated. Thanks

[Macejsc]

That would be great!  I might have to do something like that with him, he is learning his letters right now, and is just getting into learning how to write so I might do that.  Get him to work on writing his letters and have him sit down and write 1 page front and back of certain letters each day until he gets done.    

I was a trouble maker when I was little so I always specify things when I tell him what to do , I also include what not to do, and how not to do somethings.  Thanks for the idea.

[LAYNA]

ARE YOU RELIGOUS?  BECAUSE MY DAD WOULD PUNISH US BY MAKING US COPY PAGES OUT OF THE BIBLE.  HE WOULD GET TO CHOOSE THE PAGE OR PAGES AND SEND US ON OUR WAY WITH A PENCIL AND PAPER.  SOMETIMES IT WOULD BE THAT WE WOULD HAVE TO COPY 3 PAGES A DAY FOR A WEEK OR A MONTH DEPENDING ON WHAT WE DID WRONG.  NOT ONLY DID WE HATE DOING IT BUT WE ALSO WERE LEARNING THE WORD OF GOD. WORD TO THE WISE THOUGH, MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD DOESN'T GET SMART AND SIT DOWN ONE DAY AND COPY A BUNCH OF PAGES, HIDE THEM, AND TURN THEM IN AS NEEDED LIKE I DID! GOOD LUCK!!!