Wow, that's some of the worst advice I've ever heard (read). Your main concern right now is not getting a good night's sleep. Your main concern should be that your son is displaying signs of having a conduct disorder, which if left unchecked could turn into antisocial personality disorder by the time he's a teen. Which is the same as a sociopath. I understand you don't spank - that's fine. But sometimes time outs are not appropriate for every transgression. If he were my child, and I were absolutely positive that there was no basis for the abuse allegation, then I would start using VERY firm discipline. Whether he has ADHD traits or not, this WILL work. You are going to have a hard road ahead of you, because behavior usually gets worse before it gets better.
You didn't answer the question at all.
Why is your son trying to hurt your husband? That's the key question, you need to answer it at least for yourself if no on this board.
Why is your son trying to hurt your husband? Really, you probably know.
We are currently in the same situation with my 12 year old daughter. She was living with my new husband and myself. Her father has been an absentee parent most of the time. Visitation was very spotty. The children might go 6 weeks between visits at a time. Several times we had to go pick up my daughter because her father was being so nasty to her during his parenting time. She would make false accusations about my other children being mean to her or to other children in school being mean to her. All of a sudden, she started telling kids at school that she was transferring schools and going to live with her father. I find this out several weeks later when a concerned parent told me she overheard it. All of a sudden my ex takes her for a one week visit and files a petition in court for custody as well as a restraining order against my husband, who wouldn't harm a flea. She completely made up a story about how he broke her phone and threw a gatorade bottle at her. It is scary how this can happen. There weeks prior I had to talk her into visiting him at all and now she lives there and made up these lies.
I'm currently going through the same thing with my 7 yr old son. He's aid I punched him which resulted in social services taking him to the hospital to be assessed. The dr said the bruise that was on his hip was old and was not done through a punch which it wasn't my son seem to forget we were in a bouncy castle the week prior and we were both wrestling. Now he's had his second meet at school with the social worker and what he told me he said to her has made me feel sick , he said daddy doesn't pinch me anymore ! I have no clue as to how to talk to him about what he's saying are evil lies and that could get me into a lot of trouble. I feel like I'm treading on egg shells around him sacred if I even put him in a time out hell just tell more lies to the school.
im hving same problem my daughter of 5 is claiming bruses on leg and bum was me kicking her, and has said several other things about me that i dont know about in detail yet. in my case i belive my wife is priming her to say these things as my wife is already planing to cheat on me in a week of acusations and has also acused me of abusing her. i havent seen my wife or kids for 2-3 weeks now and the lies are really getting to me. all i can sugest for you is to pray that god reviels the truth. as in my situation i cant do anything myself anyway. and cant see a way of proving my innocence unless my child tells them who is making her say such things. i cant offer help other than payer, but i can offer you a worse situation that may make you feel better abut yours :)
I would stop worring right now. I have been a foster mom for 2 years and know a lot of the procedures. First doctors that have found a child to be abused, must by law report it. However if this doctor saw no "true" signs of abuse he will not report it. Let's just say he did, and your son was not abused. The social services most likely will come to your house and talk with you and your husband, and child alone. Social services are all about keeping families together. If there was abuse they would do all they could to get you and your husband help, and return your son to you. Worrying about something that has not happened is so mentally exhausting. Try to release this, and everytime you start to worry, force your mind to think on something else. YOu need to get a good nights sleep, worrying keeps us from sleeping well. I am going to pray for you and your family right now.
My beloved, highly spirited, highly intelligent, probably ADHD (preliminary diagnosis) son did tell me that he wanted to get his Dad in trouble when I asked him why he said that to the doctor. He has always pushed the envelope and said things to see what sort of reaction he could get. We're having a comprehensive cognitive, educational and behavioral workup done on him next month.
We're trying not to freak out now. I don't know if I should call the doctor and talk to her. I think I should, but I'm hesitant. I don't know if she will call social services. If she does, I don't know what social services will do. All these unknowns make me nervous. If I knew the doctor's office's policies, or social services procedures, I would feel more confident. Unfortunately, I can't find social service procedures published on the web, so I don't know where to get that information.
Why is your son trying to hurt your husband?