Avatar universal

6 year old still peeing his pants

I have a 6yr old son who daily wets his pants. He says he cant feel it when it happens but other times he does get the urge to pee. We have taken him to his dr & 2 specialists as well who did tests and all say nothing is wrong. Said he would out grow it before he started 1st grade but he didnt. He does all his own laundry as a natural consiquence. We thought it could be a mental health issue & had him evaluated only to hear he is a " bright, well rounded young man". We have him pee every 2 hours but he will wet his pants in the mean time. At least 2 times a day. What should I do next? Is their something else to test for?
49 Responses
Avatar universal
My son is 4, very smart, sweet but pees daily too.  i asked him if he knew where the bathroom is and he said yes.  i just wanted to make it clear you understand where to pee.  he does this all day long.  he will run to the bathroom pee for 10 seconds and then pee his pants.  i watch and count, i know that  may sound odd, but my theory is he isn't emptying his bladder all the way, because he doesn't want to miss something.

he hold his poop too.  he makes faces to hold his urine.  it is very hard, to the point he wears diapers to bed still and it is very full.  i don't want to take his water away, because my husband and i both drink tons of water throughout the day as well.  

it is frustrating and my son too gets his own undies and new shorts and throws them in the laudry, i just figured if i let him do that, he would figure it takes longer to do all those steps rather then just go use the bathroom.

good luck to you too.  i think my 2 year old will potty traing quicker.  it's just when are you supposed to get over this.  i am glad to see you went to specialist. that's what we thought maybe we should do.  we too think it is behavioral.  

Avatar universal

My 7-year-old son sounds a lot like yours: healthy, happy, secure, and wets his pants. He says, like your son, that he just can't tell when he has to go. I believe him, because I can tell he would like to stay dry.

My son has some other quirks that I think fit in: he doesn't notice cold or minor pain. He'll come in from playing outside in the summer with scraped knees, and be surprised when I point them out. He never cried, as a baby, when he had shots. Cold baby wipes didn't faze him.

He's also very messy when he eats--I think the feeling of food on his face just doesn't register.

We are working with him slowly. We have used a vibrating timer that he wears on his belt, with some success. I am starting--just in the past couple of months--to see some progress: he occasionally notices that he has to go.

I don't have any suggestions for you--only wanted to share some hope that our sons will eventually outgrow this problem.
Avatar universal
Thanks for your input. Until recently I felt like my family was the only one with this problem. I thought I had done something wrong potty training him.                                          I have 2 older children who were toilet trained at 2 yrs with no accidents.  When he was 3 yrs old I had another child & I thought the new baby was why he had so many accidents( we were in the training process when she was born). He was 5 when she started using the potty & I thought  for sure he wouldnt want his baby sister accident free before him, but that didnt work either.                                                                                                             He has recently seen his dr again & she suggested letting him have a timer  so he has control instead of me reminding him. Where do you get a vibrating timer?
Avatar universal
I got the timer at invisibleclock.com. I like it because you can set the alarms all at once, and they'll keep going off--you don't have to keep setting them each time. The thing I don't like about it is that sometimes the buttons get pushed by mistake and the time setting gets changed and then it doesn't go off at the right times. My son wears it clipped to the waist of his pants.

There are also multi-alarm vibrating watches available for kids, but I've avoided buying one because they're more expensive, because I _know_ my son would immediately break it, and because he's prone to eczema on his wrists already.

I don't think we've done anything wrong with the potty-training. I think those sorts of mistakes could make a kid train late--like around 4--but not this late. I think our sons must just have low sensations in their bladders. I hope that when they are older, they will be able to manage the problem by simply remembering to go at certain times, such as before and after each meal.

My pediatrician also suggested using a bedwetting alarm during the daytime with him, in the hopes that it would make him more aware of when he was wetting. We tried it, but it really upset him, so we stopped. I don't know whether to recommend that to you or not.
Avatar universal
Hi, He is 6. You are bringing way too much attention to this. As long as it is consuming your home, and it sounds like it is, it will remain an issue. The guilt factor alone will keep the child from being able to stop. Not to mention the control and attention he is getting.  Get him back in diapers. yes diapers. (It is less harmful than all the emotional damage that is being done as a result of his actions). Put a protective mattress cover on the bed and make him wear overnites, They make them to look like boxer shorts now, sho he should not be too humiliated. Explain to him that you are not being mean to him, but you cannot continue to have him peeing all over and ruining everything. If he cannot use the toilet then he must wear the diapers until he can. Then, ignore it, (at least in front of him). Have 2 sheet sets and if it leaks he is responsible for getting them to the washer, (remember he is only 6). Make him responsible for disposing of the diaper properly or if getting thru the night without soiling it, put it under the pillow until needed again. Reward him for days or nights that he goes without accident and ignore the days he fails, and do not let him hear you talk to anyone about his problem. Boys are much more likely to have these issues than girls. I had 3 boysand 2 out of 3 had issues and I had three girls and never had a problem. Go figure. Who knows why it happens. I do know that if too much attention comes as a result you could end upwith a 10 or twelve year old bedwetter.
Thank you! When I was little I peed myself everyday at school and I became so so ashamed of it. It still happened quite often up until 6th grade and even up to high school I peed myself maybe once every few months. It was always from laughing, I realized I laughed so much because my home life had always been so tense and full of anger I developed nervous disorders and laughed to cope with the tension inside me. The laughing tightened up everything and before I’d be able to stand up I had peed myself. I’m now 22 and able to see why but as a kid I just couldn’t do anything about it. Parents really need to focus on the positive things kids do and reinforce those rather than focus on the problem and how bad it is, that makes little ones think they’re bad and creates negative feelings about themselves. We all have a hard time and need help, kids aren’t exempt from that.
Avatar universal
My daughter is 6 years old and still having accidents.  Sometimes she can go two months without an accident and then were back to square one.  Then she will continue to have accidents for 4 to 6 weeks and then get back on track again.  She says she can not feel the urge to pee, but then sometimes she runs to the bathroom and tries to make it.  I don't understand what I can do for her.  I don't know what to say to her.  I have tried being angry, patient, loving, nothing seems to work.  I'm feeling depressed and frustrated because I cann't help her.  My daughter is beautiful and smart, but just is unable to keep a consistent pattern of going to the bathroom.  When we went camping in the summer,we were not near the bathrooms.  We usually had a little ways to walk to get to the bathrooms.  When she needed to go she would tell me and we would walk to the bathroom and she would go.  She had no accidents all summer.  Then she had accidents when school started and it only lasted two weeks.  Then a month and a half later she started accidents again, and she's been having them for about 4 weeks now.  I don't know how she could do so well, then not well at all.  She seems to have her accidents when she is playing on her own.  She doesn't have accidents at school because she goes to the bathroom at snack and lunch breaks.
Do you have any suggestions?
Avatar universal
My four year old is doing the same as well sometimes he goes without peeing his pants for months then he does pee himself for a week up to a month. My husbabnd is not the best and refuses to but him back in diapers I just dont know what I did for this to happen.we go to the store and he pees himself we sit at home he pees himself. I have tried to reason with him and i am just not sure what to do....Please someone help me!
Avatar universal
My 7 year old nephew was recently visiting our home and I noticed that he would urinate 2-3 times a day in his pants.  
I noticed that he was bouncing around and saw him grabbing himself , so I asked him if he had to use the br.  He said that he did and proceeded to close the door and go.
Later that day, we were driving the car and he just peed without saying anything. His older brother said that his pants leg was wet and that  "Joey must have peed again."  He wasn't sleeping, just sitting in the back with his brother, sister and cousin. His 4 year old sister does the same thing. I realize that this is alittle more common in her age group.
I have 5 children and never had this experience. Do you think that he should see a pediatric urologist....just to rule out anything physical?
Thank you for any comments.

Avatar universal
My son will be eight in december and was potty trained at 3yrs old.  He went from 3yrs old until probably about 6 1/2 without accidents.  Now all of a sudden he will wet his pants and even poop in them sometimes.  He deos this often.  Also he will hide it from me, therefore ruining the clothes.  I often find them when I go to do laundry.  I wonder how many times I missed it because he was doing his own laundry for a while and now I feel I need to check.  He buys his own new underwear out of money he was trying to save for a game boy.  He cleans the clothes and does the laundry after every accident.  I am not sure what else to do.  I feel hopeless... Should I have him see a doctor?  Is this medical? Is it a behavior?  How do I help him stop this?
Avatar universal
Avatar universal
My 6 Year old son was potty trained around 3 or 4 with few accidents.  Then we moved a few times (not that that should have anything to do with it) and he went back to peeing in his pants up to 3 or 4 times a day.  I was so frustrated.  I yelled, punished, major consequences ie wii, swimming and birthday parties.  The only thing now is he might only do it 1 or 2 times a day, and that is with me constantly reminding him.  I'm at my the end of my ropes.  I don't know what else I can possibly do or say to make him stop.  The worse part of this is that when he does have a little bit of an accident,  and for example shut the wii off....he's not that mad.  He'll say "okay, I'll go take a shower".  AGGHHHH!!!!!!!  I'm so nervous because he is going into 1st grade this September and starting school full time.  Please advise. lol
Avatar universal
My son, 7, still wets his pants occassionally and still wears pull-ups to bed.
He's been to the doctor. I do have the choice of putting him on medication which would make his bladder more sensitive. The only other choice is to remind him on a regular basis (I like a previous comment on the belt vibrating alarm), limit his water intake after dinner and just deal with it.
Anger and making him do his own laundry/buying his own underwear will not work - it just shames him and I don't want my son ashamed of himself. He is a great kid. He gets too involved with playing or whatever he's doing and forgoes going to the bathroom because he doesn't want to interupt his play. If I see his wet pants, he has to come in, shower and change. It's far more disruptive to his play than just going to the bathroom and for the most part, this works. Before we walk out the door, before he goes to bed, before he goes to play, he's told to go to the bathroom. Even if he says he doesn't have to go, I make him go through the motions. Most times, he does go...!
There is a family history of bedwetting (my sister and brother both until they were 12 and 13 respectively) so I can't take it personal that my son does it. Stress (ie, moving, new situations) do make it worse ~ I try to prepare him as much as possible.
My son wets his pants. It doesn't make him a bad person. I don't like it, but the doctor assures me the teasing by his peers is probably the best deterent for him.
Have patience. It doesn't last. It may take a long time, but it eventually comes to an end. I saw it in my brother and sister and they are now in their late 30s and perfectly normal people...
Hang in there ladies!!!
Avatar universal
I just want to thank all the ladies who have commented on this board with advise or a story of their own. I to have a 5 be 6 in two months daughter whom has these accidents in phases. Like she will have them atleast once a day for a month or two and then just stops- I have been very angry, sad at her and the situation for the last two years. At this point i am just depressed, i feel like i am doing something wrong. She started kindergarten this year but she has been in daycare since she was 2 so i know its not the stress of the school day etc. I am going to try the diaper thing when she is home to see if this helps, mentally anyway. I love my daughter and am just so embarrased with this situation.
Avatar universal
My son is having accidents. He is 5. We have been to the doctor to find out he is normal. He pees his pants. Not poop. Not bed wetting. We have punshished, encouraged, gone back to diapers. Nothing helps. I am angry ans scared for my child. Thank you for your posts. At least I am not alone.
Avatar universal
I have a 6 year old daughter. We've been fighting accidents for a long time now. It took us awhile to potty train her in the first place.. and I take responsibility for that. We were "those" parents. The ones that took it personally and yelled, cried, and even spanked occasionally- the works. It took us 2 years to potty train her. We learned with our second (the curse of the first born). She went accident free until about 6 months ago. Then suddenly I started finding piles of pee-filled underwear hidden in various places around her room. She was hiding them, so I know its not attention she wants. We stayed calm about it.. until recently - and I found myself getting into the old routine of yelling and threatening.. In fact, I did that earlier tonight. Then found this site and while reading, calmed down and realized how bad I probably made her feel about herself.. so i went back to her room, turned on her light (it was right before bed-time), and sat on her bed. I apologized, told her how proud I was of her and that I was just frustrated.. then we talked about when she's having the accidents. She admitted she feels it, but ignores it because she's playing and wants to finish.. the feeling goes away and she forgets she has to go.. Then suddenly it comes back very fast and she doesn't make it to the potty. I asked her what we could do help her remember she MUST go. I told her, I didn't want to embarrass her or make her feel bad about herself, but maybe we should consider putting her in a pull up - just until she got in the habit of going on the potty. SHE came up with this plan: "how about.. I don't wear one now, but if I go again, then every time I go, I wear the pull up as a reminder." And she asked if I could remind her to go every once in awhile, like after school and before and after dinner. I told her I thought it was a great, smart plan and that we would work on this as a team. I also told her that after every 10 days that she went with no accidents, we would go celebrate how grown up she was with a shake or something.  She seemed really proud of herself and went bed with a smile on her face.. I don't know if it will work - but I'm hoping getting her involved with the process will help...
Hi Mom from TX!
I am in this position now and wondering if your plan worked? Our daughter has accidents and doesn't tell anyone and I find out by the smell. I am so  concerned because it happens at school and she tells no one and then comes home smelling like pee. I don't want her labeled and worry it will effect her emotional development. I am hoping you get this email. I know it's been YEARS!
Avatar universal
my son is five and has a problem with wetting his pants and cant seem to stay dry at night either.  ive tried all methods of thwarting this action.  i.e. ...taking privlages, raising my voice, but never spanking.  he tells me he doesnt know why he does it, but i can tell that he doesnt want to be wet.  HELP!!!
Avatar universal
My son is 7 and still pees his pants.  He says he can not feel it coming.  I started putting him in pull ups at night, but now he has to be in pullups all the time.  He is very smart, a thinker, can build the most incredible machines out of lego.  But I am scared for him at school in the fall, because kids are not kind, and he is very sensitive to being bugged.  I appreciate everyone's comments on here, and will definitely take note of the solutions some have had.
Avatar universal
I have the same problem with my 5yr old .I do;nt know what to do anymore. I'ts really weird she knows but i'ts weird because she will just sit down on the floor and wet her pants it doesn't happen all the time I mean she can go without weeks and doing so good but then goes back and weting her pants.I don't understand she has been doing this now for 2yrs now going back in forth
Avatar universal
I have a son who is 8 and still wets the bed and has accidents occasionally during the day. The bed wetting thing is hereditary as my uncle wetlands so did I. We suffer from a form of sleep apnea that makes it almost impossible to wake from the sensation of needing to use the bathroom.

As s child my parents would get very mad at me for wetting. They tried everything... waking me at all hours of the night, humiliation, yelling, grounding, spanking, threatening, anything they thought that would help. I still wet because I really couldn't help it.  

My son has had a totally different experience. We don't make a big deal at all! He wears pull ups everyday. We celebrate dry nights and ignore wet ones.

Growing up feeling aweful, guilty, stressed, and angry will only add to the already tormenting feeling of not being able to control it. Had I been in a loving understanding environment growing up it would have really helped my self worth and made me a happier person.

I encourage parents to have conversations with the pediatrion with your child not about your child. Ask then what methods they would be comfortable with? Alarms, bed sheets, pull ups, or a combination? Medication is available but doesn't fix the problem only deters it.

Love your kiddos faults and all. (:
Avatar universal
I am really happy I stumbled upon this site!  
My son is 6 1/2 and still has accidents on occasion.  He wears a pull up at night and almost always wakes up wet whether or not we get him up in the middle of the night to go.  
He says he cannot feel it, and as frustrating as that is to hear after a week of him having no accidents, I often wonder if there is some truth to it.  
I have not seen a specialist yet, but his doctor has said at both his 5 and 6 year check ups that it is not unusual and he will outgrow it.
However, I don't know how much patience I (and my husband) have left with this.  It is so frustrating not knowing how you can help your child.  And I worry about how this will affect him socially.
My son is a very friendly, lovable, bright little boy.  Hence the frustration I feel when he has accidents.

We are getting a new doctor so I do plan to get another opinion.  But I was also wondering if any of you have been persuaded to try a chiropractor?  I have several good friends who have taken their children to a chiropractor and had their child adjusted and that has "solved" their child's potty training problems.  I have no issues with going to a chiropractor for myself, but I am nervous about it messing up my son.  

Any thoughts on this?  

Avatar universal
I also have a almost 6 year old who has suddenly having accidents during the day at home or at school. She potty trained easily at 2 1/2 but has always had bed wetting issues. Since she has started school she is having several accidents a week. I believer she just ignores the feeling until it is to late. I can tell when she has to go sometimes when she is wiggling around and I also ask her if she has to go to the bathroom and she will always answer me no. It never fails she then has an accident or will run to  the bathroom unable to hold it and have an accident while trying to get her paints down. I'm at a loss. I have tried everything I can to help her but honestly she seems to not care. I am also concerned because she is is kindergarten and I do not want the the other kids to start making fun of her.
Avatar universal
how i can stop my 6 years old to pee in her pant all the time help
Avatar universal
I have a child that was totally potty trained at 3, and about 3 1/2 started peeing his pants clear up to age 6, he is still doing it.  His personality is very different...he is a little more high strung, he always needs love and attention etc. We have been working with him, going to doctors and therapists about his problem.

I saw some things on these posts that I wanted to address...if your child starts to poop their pants (this is coming from our therapist) after they have been potty trained for awhile, watch them carefully because that can be a sign of sexual abuse and hopefully I didn't scare everyone, but just keep a close eye on your children and make sure they are respected.

As far as an answer on what to do about the peeing problems?  I still haven't found an answer, but I don't give my child any attention at all when it comes to his peeing, BUT I don't believe you should put your 6 or 7 year old back in diapers, I think that will cause some mental problems...I think they will think you are trying to tell them they are a baby, and what 6 or 7 year old wants that?  I think pull-ups at night are just fine.  All I can hope is eventually he will grow out of it!
Avatar universal
  My boy is 6 and a half and in grade 1. He is wetting himself in the day several times mostly in school. The school has a dry policy and keeps threatening expulsion if I cant solve the issue. Have started him in pull ups and he has told the other boys these are special pants, I don't care!
Confident, friendly and social boy who has had delayed milestones so is doing everything much later than others ( but eventually gets there!) I am very patient but can't take the pressure of the school nurse. Fear he will be expelled and lose the school he loves! This will break our otherwise happy and strong family's morale!
We will be forced to homeschool then as there are'nt too many options in this country! The paediatric urologist has ruled out any other problems. Any advice?
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