6 year old talks a lot... and doesn't listen

[Laughkc]

My son is 6 1/2... he is a great kid.  He is extremely smart, he does very well in school... academically. However, on almost every single report card and progress report there is a comment about excessive talking, not staying on task, and getting out of his seat.
My other issue is when he is at home.  Almost every single thing I ask him to do, I have to repeat myself 2-5 times. Sometimes he just waits until I get mad and yell, and then he will do it. Even sometimes, he just leaves the room and continues to do something else. I feel like he doesn't take me seriously, and I also feel like he might be starting to resent me for always getting mad at him. I do not want to lose control, but I feel like I already have.

How do I get back the control? And please address the first paragraph as well.

[ekiser675]

I read the doctors answer and having him ckecked for ADHD would not hurt. My daughter Nicolena is 9 and she has ADHD . I finally after several doctors I took her to and they all were horrible, all they want to do is give her medication, she does take meds. but I finally found the right doctor and she went from being nasty not being able to enjoy the things a 9yr. girl should. We are really happy with the outcome. I know it seems so complicated for our children, but the right doctor makes a big difference. I hope I helped a little.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You're absolutely correct - you have surrendered your jurisdiction and it's up to you to reclaim it. Why do you decide to repeat yourself over and over? Why do you let yourself become so frustrated? Why do you resort to yelling? All these are choices you are making - you do not 'have to' repeat yourself. Do you see what I mean? You have created this situation. Now, it's a simple matter how to correct it. You will find a clear, practical, straightforward guide in Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents (see sosprograms.com). Follow the guidelines just as he indicates and you'll be fine.

Relative to the school behavior, it may be that he displays inattention and hyperactivity typical of ADHD. Now, it is important not to assume that this is true. But his behavior invites evaluation. It is very critical that his teacher set firm limits on the talking and getting out of his seat. There behaviors have to be prohibited. Too often teachers allow these things to happen because they are not effective in setting limits, then they complain about the behavior to the parents. It's up to the teacher to manage the behavior. If the teacher has been doing a good job setting limits and esablishing didscipline, and the behaviors continue, then the chances of there being a legitimate ADHD increase.