6 yr old daughter cries when I leave her at school.

[Reiding]

My six year old daughter cries every time I leave her at school. I realize this started after the second daughter was born just over a year ago. Her teacher now says its because she is emotionally immature. But is that really what it is? I am more concerned on how to fix the problem though. I do not want  her to feel so sad. When I talk to her about it she just says that she misses me too much. Does she spend too much time with me and not enough time with other people and kids? I am at a loss. Last year we tried a reward system in which it worked, however this year it is not working at all. I need help!

[Reiding]

Yes she is in Kindergarten. The town I live in is only about 300 people

[specialmom]

Oh, that is good news.  I know that encouraging friendships outside of the school day helps children be more excited about school  Is there anyone in the class you could get together with outside of school.  Anyway, that is just an aside.

I would just try to make the drop off as quick as possible.  

She is in kindergarten, correct?  That is a really small class.  

[Reiding]

well my daughter's class has only 6 other kids in it and as far as the teacher tells me, all of the kids play together and nobody gets left out. my daughter also says that she doesn't have any problems with kids.

[specialmom]

Actually that is a really good point.  Does she have any buddies in class?  One other thing that may help is to invite a friend over for a one on one playdate ----  someone in her class.  Try to encourage a friendship if she doesn't already have these

I have worked morning bus duty for the passt 3 years and your daughter is not alone in seperation anxiety.  Our school really does handle it by a speedy exit of the parents.  Our principal takes the child's hand and tells the parents to go right away.  no long goodbys or walking to the classroom.  Drop at the front door.  I have a 6 year old as well in a school of over 800 kids and he finds his way to the class just fine.  The principal or school counselor can help at first by doing a hand off and make it routine with very little attention given to her if she has an outburst.  Bye honey.  have fun.

Most kids that do that have a hard time like your daughter are perfectly fine 5 to 10 minutes after you leave.  Stay positive always----  school is FUN!  I loved school!  Your teacher is so fantastic!  You get to see your friends!  etc.  good luck  

[margypops]

Could there be any reason, does she like the school are the teachers kind ,has she made friends ?

[Sandman2]

  I agree with specialmom.  The key is that she stops crying soon after you leave.

[specialmom]

Have the principal meet you at the door of the school, hand her off and go.  Or have her dad take her to the bus.  As little attention to it as possible.  She's in kindergarten now I assume so going to school isn't an option, she has to go.  So make it short and sweet.  I'd not punish her for it and give her some praise but try not to give it all that much attention period.  good luck

[Reiding]

Well I am a stay at home mother and we spend 90% of the time together when she is not at school. I wanted to start taking her to the bus but I am afraid she will not get onto the bus. And, I try to make it a quick goodbye but she chases me down the hall crying. She does have a good time at school and does stop crying after a couple of minutes after I leave. As for someone else taking her I do not really know anyone who could.

[specialmom]

Or not enough time with you??  Maybe she is seeking the attention.  Does she stop crying after she is dropped off?  That is very telling and if that is the case, she'll be fine.  Our school recommends a quick drop off rather than lengthy goodbyes and maybe best if she'll ride the bus or if someone else takes her instead of you.  Are either of those an option?