6YEAR OLD GRANDSON ISNT DEVELOPING.

[jand1961]

My grandson is 6yrs.  My daughter was19 rs when she had him. She was in an abusive relationship, and left.   My daughter met another man who my grandson calls dad, and they had a child, now aged 2 yrs. This relationship ended 2 months ago. My daughter lives in poverty.  Money is tight and she struggles to pay bills. She isnt taking care of the children  and the house is dirty and very untidy. The childrens rooms often have no bedding on the beds, and you cant see the floor for dirty laundry and mess.  My daughters expartner, and I were talking last week and he voiced his concerns about the children.  He stated that they were smelly, and the first thing he did was bathe them and change their clothes ,  I do exactly the same!  we discussed my daughters 'housekeeping' skills, and we both acknowldged that she isnt coping.   He then informed me that his parents were considering contacting social services, as they were concerned about neglect.
The issues for my grandson are complex,  he has not developed in school and is 18 months behind the others in his class.  He cant read, do basic math, and is bottom in his class.   He cant interact with his peers  they make fun of him and he reacts in anger...or at least he did, but now he just stands alone in the play ground and stares at the floor. His speech is a problem and he doesnt pronounce his words properly and has a very distinct lisp.   He gets very angry sometimes, and acts out by being destructive.   My daughter has never did any reading with him at home and he has been left to his own devices.  Its heartbreaking.When he is with me, I spend time with him.   I read his school books, but he hates it.  He says he hates school and doesnt want to go.
Right now, I have made an appointment to discuss my concerns with his teacher (at length)  We did have a brief chat, and she was clearly very concerned about him.He is living with meat the moment, and I have a routine which he is settling into.  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are right to be concerned. He should undergo a thorough developmental evaluation and likely be removed from the custody of his mother. It sounds like she has all she can do to take care of herself, let alone take care of any children.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

There is no reason to focus specifically on those two conditions, though they are possible. His degree of disturbance is significant, and the only way to clarify the situation is through a comprehensive evaluation. When he is in a structured, nurturing family environment he may show a level of organization beyond what he is displaying now. He is showing the impact of the inadequate parenting to which he has been exposed.

[jand1961]

Is it possible that the child has ADD or Aspergers?  

[tejodouro]

Please make sure that the 2 year old is also removed from the mother so that the same does not happen to him.  It sounds like your daughter needs help.  If she is struggling because of money issues, she needs to get government help.  In the US, there are some programs for moms of young children who do not have the resources.  Please keep an eye on the younger one also.