6year old half sister touching/kissing 4 year old half sister.

[bella776]

The last 3 times that my Fiances  6 year old daughter has come to visit she has touch my 3 year old innapropriately. The first time I thought, ok, it just exploring, talked to them both, and moved on. Then came a second time. Again she touched her inappropriately, but this time out of anger. She grabbed there because she was frustrated with my little girl who was not listening to her. She did so inside her pants and underwear. Her Father told her Mother, and he was told she would bring her to the Counselor that by the way she already has for supposive behavioral problems. Almost positive she never went, and now we have a third time. The girls were in their bathing suits playing beach. I was doing things, but had noticed extra noise so I peek in from around the corner. They were under the blanket. I asked what they were doing, and the 6 year old replied, wrestling. I told them to stop because someone could get hurt, no more ruff housing. Just a few minutes later the 6 year old told me that my 4 year olds private part was hurting.  There was so much time that had passed between the second and third time that I has forgotten almost, until the 63 year old reminded me. I knew she had touched her, and asked repeatedly what had happened. The story changed several times, by both girls. At one point I told them I was going to step out side, just on the other side of the sliding glass door where I could see them, but told them I couldnt hear, and suggested they get their story straight while I got air. I listened at the door to the 6 year old telling my 4 year old what to say, listening to her say not to tell the truth because she will get in trouble. She was yelling at her. I came in and explained I had heard it all. Finally the 6 year admitted that she had touched her, why, she did not know, and I was unable to get anything else out of her. I told the two girls they needed to change in seperate room, one upstairs, and one downstairs. I kept my 4 year old downstairs. I asked her again what happened, and she said her Sister touched her inside her bathing suit, and also squeezed the inside of her legs. She heard her Sisiter coming and clammed up. The next morning when her Sisiter left I talked with my Daughter again. She then told me that they were not wrestling like they had said, but insted were playing the kissy, kissy game, which I have never heard of.  She told her to play it or they wouldnt play at all. They were kissing on the lips. Again the Mother was told, and I listened to her ask her Daughter why she did what she did, and her Daughter saying she got this from various people. I listened as the Mother repeatedly told this child she is a liar, and that she is in trouble. Again she was supose to see the Counselor, and again she has not.I am extremely concerned, have two other older children, and have never been in this situation. Very unsure as to what is normal, and what is not. Please, somebody give me their thoughts. Do I have reason to be as concerned as I am?

[bella776]

No, she has definitely not seen the act here, as for at home, thst, I do not know. Its a possibility, but if it has happened im pretty sure nobody over thrte will sdmit to it.

[KaylaMarie25]

I thought of another thing, has she seen you and your fiance "in the act" or anyone else?

[KaylaMarie25]

It is a serious allegation but at 6 years old she should know that touching others in that way isn't appropriate unless she was getting touched there and in return touching your daughter. I would keep a very close eye on both of them when they're together.

[bella776]

She does not have accidents here, at home, I am not sure. I too, kind of feel like some of these things are sign of abuse. Its a serious allegation though, so looking to get others thoughts. Seems like  a definite possability when putting everything together, but still not positive. Thanks for your thoughts.

[KaylaMarie25]

Maybe the older one was sexually abused? Behavioral problems and "experimenting" are two signs of a child getting abused. Does she still have "accidents?" If she did get molested, that person "grabbed her down there" out of anger and that's why she did it to your daughter when she got mad.  

[bella776]

And what about tge fact that she isnt only touching but hurting. The firdt time she grabbed the area out of anger. Out of all tge thingd she could have, she chose this? The third time she touched, then grabbed her inner thighs, and left marks. This is normal?  I just really dont know. Anyone else have any thoughts on this? All are welcome.

[bella776]

Even if she coerced her into playing the game? Also according to the Mother she is a bad child with behavioral issues, yet we do not see this bad behavior here. And this so called bad behavior also began when Mommy started dating a new man. She have even said a few times she wants to die. Whete does a 6 year old get that from? And what abouy my 4 year old. She lets sissy touch her, so why wouldnt she let someone else? Another thing is when I told het that she could tell me anything, she told me that she doesn't wipe when she uses the bathroom. Arent these all signs of abuse, or could they be? One more thing comes to mind, apparently her sister whom she resides w touched her, but not one of the times were we told this. We have asked several times where she would get this, where she may have learned this, and wete never told about het Sister, my Fiance asked this last time, and then we were told. Kind of feel like they are hiding something. Then again, like I said earlier, this is the first time I have ever dealth w a situation of this nature.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and welcome, I feel this is another case of getting control of childrens behavior. 6 and 4 are very young ages to consider this as inappropiate.