7 y/o girl seems starved for attention all the time

[vindi317]

I have a 7 /o  daughter- extremely articulate,mature for her age, never been overly emotional or clingy, seldom whiny or crying,very out-going, extroverted, has always gotten a lot of attention from both of us (mom & dad). At home she is wonderful. We have to go get her to spend time with us because she is starting to do a lot more independent activities like reading alone or coloring. BUT when we take this child in public she is impossible. She has to speak to every person, she dances, speaks very loudly, and generally makes a spectacle out of herself. She seems unstoppable until every single person in a store either hears her voice or makes eye contact. Its worse we are talking to another adult. I recently began as her Brownie troop leader. Meetings are impossible, trying to pay a cashier is impossible.  She is interupts and talks over people. She is undeterable. At home she behaves well and follows direction. In public she ignores us when we tell her to stop. If she realizes she has crossed the line to consequences or if we ignore her, the behavior becomes downright embarrassing. Worse, she will break into a crying, snotty, talking too loud fit. In public she is pushy, obnoxious, ill-mannered, and aggressive. She doesn't do this at home. What are we doing wrong? We hear from teachers, friends, and relatives how polite and well-behaved she is when we are not around!

[vindi317]

Thank you so much for your reply. Your definately on track, it is almost a jealousy thing. As soon as I talk to anyone other than her she acts up. Even if I speak to my husband or sit beside him at dinner. She says "I want to sit by Mommy" or "You guys just talk to eachother and not me". The truth is we haven't been out alone in over a year and our conversations have become "kid-centric". Maybe I need to set more definative boundries on my time? I had shyed away from that because it seems like any time I spend away from her makes the situatin worse. I actually did the oppostie and started giving her even more obvious attention because I worried she didnt seem to be getting enough! Probably made it worse. I am glad to hear you say 15 minutes becuse that 1 minuite per year old thing (7 minutes in her case) seem entirely too easy for her.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Well it's clear that she is 'threatened' when others are involved with you outside the home. Be sure to discipline her for such behavior, with fifteen minute time out periods as soon as they can be achieved. The thing to focus on is setting a clear limit and being rigorous about enforcing it. As you can see from her behavior in school and some other settings, when you are not in the picture she's OK. The issue is when she feels she is 'competing' for your attention.