Children Doesn't Listen to me or father!!!!

[beth g.]

I have two girls 4 and 5 1/2 and over the summer they wanted to share rooms.  So we gave in and let them.  They promised they would keep their room and toy room clean.  But I find myself asking them over and over and over to clean it.  And they will not.  Last week I told them they could not go outside til the rooms was clean and it would not have taken them 10 minutes to pick up the few toys that was in the rooms..but instead they played around and didn't get to go outside for two days.  And when I tell them I am going to either give away the toys or have a garage sale.  They start screaming for me not to that they will clean it right up.  But they never do.  I can not tell you the number of toys we have gave away to charity and they simply don't care.  What else can I do?  We have tried everything.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Beth G.,

Your expectations are too high for children who are so young. While children of such a young age are certainly capable of picking up after themselves, with our supervision, after play, they are not capable of handling this task on a regular basis by themselves.

You would probably be better off having the children in separate rooms at their age. They don't yet have the cognitive capacity to do what you're expecting.

So, you're frustrating yourselves and punishing your children when there is no need to do either. Try to change your expectations and you'll be better off. Remember, the kids should be picking up after themselves, within reason, but they'll need your gentle reminders and supervision.

[Kyle's Mom]

Make a game out of it.  Set the timer for 15 mintues and if they have finished in 15 minutes they can have a popsicle or something.