7 year old boy depression

[RAMF]

My son will be 7 in April.  He has made expressive comments about being stupid, an "idiot", making bad choices.  Other then the "bad choices" term, the other ones have never been heard in our home towards him.  He has behavior issues, has had them since he was 2 and over the last 2 years we've had him diagnosed with Chiari 1 malformation, sleep apnea and possibly (probably) ADD.  He has gotten alot better with age in dealing with himself and excercising self control over his behavior.  However, he goes through periods of time where he is angry, easily frustrated, unable to cope, which is directly concurrent to not sleeping well.  My concern is that yesterday he told me he wished he wasn't alive, that he wished he could just go to heaven and that God had never made him.  I don't know where this comes from or where he would have heard those words - I guess he's old enough to put those thoughts together but I am very concerned at this age he has such a low self esteem and is basically voicing suicidal thoughts.  His father and I are divorced, his father lives 10 hours away and makes little effort to see our children.  My son is the only boy in a houseful of girls and he is a handful because of his behaviour issues, which I'm sure make him feel not "included" at times or constantly at odds with someone.  I understand how he can feel bad about himself - I'm just not sure how concerned to be about his recent comments and how to deal with it.  I can't control how much he misses his father and that issue is painful for both myself, my son & his sister.  They have a stable, loving home with two parents (step father) and alot of activities.  No smoking, no drugs, no alchohol (his father is an alcoholic & addict) - I am an involved mother yet busy w/part time work and 5 kids, home, life - any advice would be appreciated.

[kristy5271980]

I wish I would have seen this years ago.  My daughter turned 7 in April and is the only child of my husband and I.  I noticed some problems when she was around 2 closer to 3.  If you wouldn't mind I would be interested to hear how you are doing now and what worked for you.  I have depression/ bi-polar, mood disorders and even suicide that runs on my dads side of my family.  We have not been perfect, but we are very loving parents who I think did spoil her too much and up unitl just now was the only grandchild on my husbands side.  My sister in law in 7 weeks pregnant.  My daughter and I started counseling today.  I am at the end of my rope.  Its causing so much tension in my everyday life and relationships.  I love her more than anything, but sometimes I just want to lock myself in the bathroom and throw a fit myself.  I have suffered with depression and anger issues all my life, but after getting pregnant with her I have suprisingly gotten much better at dealing with it.  I got put on all sorts of drugs for most of my life and I refuse to do this to my child.  She has such low self-esteem and all of her family has never done anything but build her up.  She is easy to anger and watch out when she gets angry! She has stated that she just wishes she was never born and that she hates herself and tha we hate her!  I don't know what else to do.  I would appreciate any advice!

  my email is ***@****

[jdtm]

Our child was six years old when she first stated that she wished she could die.  She was diagnosed by a child psychiatrist as suffering from depression and severe anxiety.  Be careful - mental health issued do not go away nor will a child outgrow them; they must be treated (just as physical health issues).  

[natesmom616]

My son has said similar things to us as well.  He will be 7 in June.  Our home life is different (he is the only child and his father and I are both in the house).  For the last 6 months or so he has made comments when he gets angry that he is an idiot, or stupid.  Or he'll say that "people" think that he's stupid.  When I ask him who thinks he's stupid, the answer varies each time, though usually he says that it's the kids at school. Or he'll get angry and say that his father or I think he's stupid.   I know that it isn't from home because he has always been taught that calling someone "stupid" or an "idiot" is unkind and it is not allowed in our home.  He also has issues with frustration.  He gets upset very easily if something does not go the way he feels it should and though he is a very sweet natured and even empathetic child, he has a quick temper and very little patience.  We have enrolled him in tae kwon do classes which he starts this week with the hope that he will gain some self discipline, patience and control.  While he's never been diagnosed with ADD, he can be quite a handful and extremely dramatic.  He also suffured from sleep apnea until last year.  After testing, it was determined that his tonsiles and adenoids were much too large for his size (he's very small for his age).  One his tonsils and adenoids were removed, the apnea stopped.  Though he's never been much of a sleeper anyway.  Odd as it sounds,  It's nice to know that I am not the only one with a 6 year old who has voiced killing himself.  My son said this for the first time the past weekend after a particularly difficult trip to the store.  He attempted to throw a bit of a tantrum in the store and as punishment, lost TV time for later in the afternoon.  He was even more upset by this and then said to his father and I that we were always mean to him and that he just wanted to kill himself.  I was so taken aback that I didn't know how to react.  I couldn't believe that a 6 year old would think of such a thing.  I wasnt' certain if this was something that is common at this age or if I should be really concerned with that comment.