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7 year old child is out of control
My 7 year old daughter is out of control, she does not listen to what she has been told to do, constantly talking back mimicing me, trying to get her sibling to do stuff that is not right. Lying giving me a hard time about everything, when is told to something she says "NO" or if she is told "NO" that she can't do something then she constantly bugs to do it and has a fit. Takes off in stores, ahe will not do her punishment for mis-behaviour like go to her room after school until dinner. She has no remorse for mis behaving. This has been a battle since she was 2 yrs old. I don't know what to do anymore, she knows what buttons to push to upset me.Does not listen to instructions, if asked to do something she will do the opposite or do what she wants, taking stuff away does not work.She is constantly arguing with me about everything. Please give me some suggestions.
Brig 1975
Brig 1975
I, too have a 6 year old son who has been out of control for about 2 years - off and on. He hits me, talks back, has temper tantrums, follows me grasping at my clothes or body if I step away from, throws toys, and lies to get what he wants. At school he would hit kids and teachers, refuse to participate and once ran off school property.
My husband and I are together after 12 years, I am educated, and I have an older boy of 9 who has never caused these issues.
You aren't going to like this, but I found my answer.
He'd stopped hitting me for about a year but when he began doing so again I felt I had no choice. I took his hands, knelt to his level, and told him if he did it again I would spank him. He did it again. I sighed, took his hand, had to drag him to his room and holding him sat on his bed and told him "I told you that if you hit me I would spank you. And you hit me so I have no choice." And i spanked him 3 times on his clothed butt. He screamed, and hit me again and again. I repeated my warning and spanking until he stopped hitting AND stopped talking back. I simply refused to stop until he showed me respect. And I was calm the ENTIRE time. Showing no anger showed him he had NO control over me.After the 3rd time I sighed and calmly said "we can do this all night". He angrily rolled around on the bed -but was clearly trying to stop himself from talking back! For the first time I'd ever seen he was trying to control his anger! I encouraged him saying "that's right, good. i know it's hard to control your feelings and your words but you can do it!" He didn't look happy but slowly calmed down. I told him I would step out of his room to give him time to calm down more. WHen I came back we talked and I told him that I was no longer tolerating being hit or talked back to and he now knew the consequences. I had a much briefer similar incident one week later. And about once a month I might have to spank but only once and he calms much faster and usually without spanking anymore.
I had refused to spank for years. And my 9 yr old never needed it - so I understand why some people believe it's not necessary. But they are wrong. I now firmly believe that - for some children - it is necessary.
I know others will berate me but until they take my child for a week, their opinion is based on no knowledge of MY child.
Parents: take back control. Be calm. Be clear. But dont be disrespected. What will you do when your 16 yr old hits you?
My husband and I are together after 12 years, I am educated, and I have an older boy of 9 who has never caused these issues.
You aren't going to like this, but I found my answer.
He'd stopped hitting me for about a year but when he began doing so again I felt I had no choice. I took his hands, knelt to his level, and told him if he did it again I would spank him. He did it again. I sighed, took his hand, had to drag him to his room and holding him sat on his bed and told him "I told you that if you hit me I would spank you. And you hit me so I have no choice." And i spanked him 3 times on his clothed butt. He screamed, and hit me again and again. I repeated my warning and spanking until he stopped hitting AND stopped talking back. I simply refused to stop until he showed me respect. And I was calm the ENTIRE time. Showing no anger showed him he had NO control over me.After the 3rd time I sighed and calmly said "we can do this all night". He angrily rolled around on the bed -but was clearly trying to stop himself from talking back! For the first time I'd ever seen he was trying to control his anger! I encouraged him saying "that's right, good. i know it's hard to control your feelings and your words but you can do it!" He didn't look happy but slowly calmed down. I told him I would step out of his room to give him time to calm down more. WHen I came back we talked and I told him that I was no longer tolerating being hit or talked back to and he now knew the consequences. I had a much briefer similar incident one week later. And about once a month I might have to spank but only once and he calms much faster and usually without spanking anymore.
I had refused to spank for years. And my 9 yr old never needed it - so I understand why some people believe it's not necessary. But they are wrong. I now firmly believe that - for some children - it is necessary.
I know others will berate me but until they take my child for a week, their opinion is based on no knowledge of MY child.
Parents: take back control. Be calm. Be clear. But dont be disrespected. What will you do when your 16 yr old hits you?
wow reading all of these have just put my mind at rest that im not the only one...... my 7yr old son has pushed me to the absolut limits.... have professionals involved but no help, we have violent outburst, disruptive outburst (having to replace a wall!!!) he is sly and devious, gets frustrated and angry so quicky, punishments dont work, rewards dont work, it seems he doesnt seem to care what he doing and what the consiquences will be, he also has OCD traits.....he is doing so well at school and is a different child there..... i have an appointment with our family doctor as this has been steadily getting worse since the age of 2 yrs old and i cannot keep on being told im a bad parent and i should teach my child a lesson.... i have 3 kids and he is the middle one and the only one with these issues
That sounds horrible! Oh, you think it is Ok to inflict pain on your child because it is controlled? And what happens when you reach the point where you are out of control?
You are teaching your child that the way to handle conflict is through infliction of pain......when your child has a conflict with another child? bloody noses here we come.
You are teaching your child that the way to handle conflict is through infliction of pain......when your child has a conflict with another child? bloody noses here we come.
That is terrible! Think about what you teach a child with a whipping? You teach the child that the way to handle conflict is through physical beating. That will be a child that is taught to fight physically whenever there is conflict with another child. not good
COMMUNITY LEADER
And if somebody calls protective services about an abandoned little girl, you will be in a world of trouble. A really bad idea for several reasons.
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