7 yr old boy will not obey parentings

[butterfly0204]

My son does excellent in school and well above grade level. Social relationships are good. His teacher will say he cant take a joke and gets upset easily.He will leave his seat without permission, but she has no disruptive behavior concerns. At HOME is another story. He will not take NO for an answer.Its like he doesnt hear us. He is not suppose to play ball in the house, he will. He is not allowed in our bedroom and he walks in and out as he pleases. He will get into a adult situation, sometimes answer back as it seems he has an excuse for everything. I really believe he sees himself as an adult, not a 7 yr old child. At times he has made other children feel bad about themselves -- if they dont score as high as he does in class or if his 5 yr olf brother does better than him with a game. We have tried reward charts, taking everything he loves away, threats, spanking, yelling , nothing works for more than a little while.
He is not uncontrollable despite the above ,as a family we go out to restuarants, theater, road trips and he enjoys and behaves well.  But once something gets in his head - thats it! I hate to say it he is very annoying and I end up screaming and yelling at him all day long.
Outside he plays well with all children. At home we have that constant bikering with his younger brother, both nothing serious.PLEASE HELP!!!

[specialmom]

I agree that he needs to learn boundaries and that he is the child and you are the parent and he MUST respect you.  He also needs to work and play independently---- however, some kids do require more direction and help in this manner and wouldn't it be worth it if it resulted in less of this "annoying" (your words, not mine!!) behavior?  I'm not suggesting that you spend every waking minute entertaining him (nor am I criticizing you)--  I'm sure you're doing the best you can with that.  But what I was talking about is physical activity.  Going to the pool, park, etc. where he can move and run and get his ya yas out.  I have seen drastic and LONG LASTING improvement in my kids behavior from this.  And heck, if I have to organize it and get it going----  I'll do it for the big payoff in the end.  (better behaved kid).  I know not everyone can do this all the time and I'm not suggesting that you do.  But the physical stuff can help behavior.  Do you like to hike or anything?  This is a great Saturday activity for families.  I don't know.  I just think (and I'm talking about generally and not you specifically) that families and mothers in particular can get caught up in all they "need" to do when time is so fleeting with our kids.  We think we can't wait for the day they don't need us anymore but it might not be as great as we think.  So keep trying to get through to him and hopefully this period will be over soon.  Feel blessed that he does so well in school and his teachers are happy with him.  And do nice things for yourself once in a while.  good luck

[butterfly0204]

Yes he does do  better when he is involved in a project or someone is engaged with him however at 7 yrs old he must understand that he has to play alone when no one else can play wiht him. He has to stop annoying people and regardless listen to his parents. No means no.. and we are not getting through to him!

[specialmom]

Hi,  I'm glad you're son does so awesome in school!!  That is a sign that he can control his impulses.  He may be bored.  I'd get him out as much as possible and do things that physically tire him out.  I have found that the more we get out, the easier it is at home.  God to a nature center or park and hike, go bike riding, go run around at a park, swimming is awesome.  He may just need a little more structure of activities at home like he has at school.  You sound like you have rewards in place and consequences in place.  Stick to them without altering the plan.  It has to sink in eventually.  Respecting parents is essential to be successful and he needs to understand that.  Good luck.