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8 year old not following directions after being told several times

Posted by JR on July 05, 1999 at 19:41:40
My boyfriends 8 year old does not follow directions.  He has to repeat himself over and over.  We find that she is easily distracted from what he has asked of her and she claims to have
forgotten what he asked. This is constant.  It almost seems as if she is doing it on purpose. Also if he is asking her to do something SHE doesnt want to do, the same thing happens, she will go do something else and claim she forgot.  How can he get her to listen and follow through?

Posted by HVM Ph.D. - KDK on July 06, 1999 at 09:43:16
Dear JR,
In managing children's behavior, it's important not to repeat directions over and over. Without meaning to, we 'teach' youngsters not to take us seriously when we do that. Be sure to establish eye contact and issue directions in a clear, simple style, with few words. If the girl complies, praise and encourage her. If she does not comply, repeat the direction only one more time, in the form of an 'ultimatum' (e.g., Unless you pick up your toys, you're going to time out.). If she doesn't comply, place her in time out, using an adult-size chair for a time out place. Also, use a portable timer to track the time. Start the time only when she is sitting quietly in the chair. Be sure to maintain your composure throughout - speak firmly without yelling. If you and your friend are consistent in this approach, it will yield dividends.
*Keyword: Oppositional, Defiant, Behavior Problem, Time-Out

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