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9 year old daughter

Hi I have a 9 year old daughter that I'm trying to go get help for. It is getting to the point were she talks back gets an attitude and stomps away, It's to the point that I'm getting frustrated with this behavior and at my wits end. I've tried taking all of her electronics away and anything that she likes but that doesn't even work. I'm lost on what else to do.
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, the problem is that once you have taken away all the electronics and she is bad again....then what do you do?   Basically, you are not following any of the rules of effective discipline.
The first thing that you need to do is to get rid of the idea that she is not bothered at all by the consequences.  Smart kids very quickly learn that the best way to avoid consequences is to pretend they don't work.  So the parents try something else and something else and something else.  And the child keeps doing the same old thing.  Also, and more importantly, for any consequence to work it has to be consistently repeated, and repeated, and repeated.  It can take up to three weeks for the child to realize that you mean it.  For example, taking away her electronics is ineffective.   "out of sight, out of mind".   Its much better to take her away from playing with them (a timeout), and then return them to her.  You can only take the electronics away once.  You can remove him many times.
    The second thing you need  to do is to stop saying "don't do that".   You need to take action.  Typically, a short timeout.  And that is repeated every time she messes up.  Skip the rewards, the praise, the warnings that she will lose her weekend fun, etc.  When she messes up - immediately deal with it.  And do it again and again and again.  Oh, and if there is a significant other in the picture, they need to be on the same page as you.

  That is a very short description of discipline that works.  There are some very good books that lay this out in detail.   I would need to spend pages to really cover this for you.  Believe me, the time that you will spend in reading either of these books will be worth it.  
      "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark  
  One, Two, Three, Magic by Dr. Phelan

   I hope this helps.  best wishes.
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