It would be a huge help to know how old he is. And, yes, his ADHD needs to be treated. untreated ADHD does lead to ODD. The weight issues are common and can be overcome.
Since he spent a lot of time with you this summer, I am assuming his parents have kind of given up? They are the ones who really need to get more information on how to work with ADHD kids. It does start in the home.
It is tough to get a teenager to take meds. Not as tough for a middle school kid (that's why I asked the age). Sometimes, they have to learn the hard way. But, what is important, is that they get the right kind and dose of the medication. Here again, depending on his age, information for him is key.
In the title of the post I mentioned he was 9. No, his parents have not given up, but they have been to classes and support groups with little (actually virtually no) success. They live close to me so I would take my grandson to give them a break and would try and work with him when he's with me.
We were all on a family outing yesterday and when it was time to leave, he didn't want to and started ranting and raving with really nasty, rude remarks. This is not just a kid with ADHD, he has full blown ODD (exhibiting every single symptom every single day) and like I said, the worst part is he has no empathy or understanding of anyone's feelings but his own. It's hard to explain how difficult he really is. He is constantly blaming everyone else for things and cannot see how he has any personal responsibility in anything. The ADHD medication helped some with focusing, but he will not swallow anything whole so is limited to what is able to be chewed or crushed (I've tried every technique in the book, invested in special cups, straws, etc.) We've explained that he may have to go back on it if he starts getting in trouble in school, altho that doesn't mean he'll do it, but the ADHD meds still did nothing for his ODD, chronic meanness or horrendous attitude. Like I said, the psychiatrist at Children's Hospital of Pennsylvania said they can only treat for ADHD. Also, due to issues present at birth, such as hypertonia, a very large forehead, difficulty eating and being soothed, etc, I feel it is a biological problem and not something from bad or neglectful parenting. There has been no trauma or abuse either. I am just wondering if anyone knows of any other doctors or hospitals that have successfully worked with children like this, who are on the cusp of antisocial personality disorder.
There are other options to taking ADHD medications if swallowing is a problem. There is a liquid med, a patch, and several can be sprinkled on food. Here is a link to all the meds out there and how they can be used. http://www.leeheymd.com/charts/adhd_1.html
And his problems are certainly not from bad parenting.
Here are some links that should help with dealing with the ODD
I am also wonder if he has Sensory Processing Disorder as he has some of the symptoms (and it would explain a lot). Check out this link on SPD and look at the symptoms, signs of dysfunction, how does it feel sub categories. http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/
This is also a good shorter link on SPD - http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/178/slide-1.html
Thanks for the input. I will pass this info on to my daughter.
I found the thread "Is my child a sociopath?" on this site and see a lot of similarities with some of the other children, but as of right now he has not threatened to kill anyone or harm any animals (he actually has a cat that he says is the only thing he loves), so I feel there is hope. He does kick and hit his parents, though. He actually went for some sensory processing help last year. They said he can spin for hours and not feel any affects. The frustrating thing is, because he is smart and fairly manageable at school, they refuse to give him an IEP so he gets no financial help. My daughter can't afford all the therapies, especially since he has shown no improvement after them. I think we should try to get him back in therapy with a different person, but finding one is hard and finding time in their already overpacked schedule is difficult. No matter what I just want him to know how much we love him, although I do suspect he's nicest to my husband and I because he usually gets undivided attention from us. I will definitely look at all the links you mentioned.