Divorce affecting young daughters

[ziv_h]

I have two girls, 4 and 19-months old.  I was divorced a year ago, and my ex moved with the girls from the U.S. back to Israel, which is where we are from. (The girls were born in the U.S.)   I go to visit my daughters every 6 weeks or so, for a few days, and when back in the U.S., I call every day on the phone.  This has been the routine for a full year.  However, for the last month or so, every time I call, the 4-year old doesn

[nanniegea]

I'm sorry to say, but I agree. I believe kids should have their mother, especially in the beginning. It sounds like your 4-year old just wants her mother. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but if there is anyway you can change this arrangement, I would do it. Is there a special reason as to why your husband took them so far away? Like the doc said, we all know this is not a perfect world but....I would not like to see your children go through seperation anxiety if it can be different than it is now. Good luck and may God bless.

[LittleMar19]

I'm no doctor but I would think the girls should be with you. Especially the baby.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It's a stretch to assert that the physical ailments are symptomatic of response to the divorce. Your younger daughter really never "knew" the family as a unit, so it's fair to say for her that the change is not likely to much of a factor. For your older daughter, she has the memory of the family together, so the change really is a loss. It's not particularly helpful to speculate too much about the possible meaning of her art work, but it's fair to say that the split in the family is having an impact on her. You'll have to develop a 'thick skin' about the phone behavior. Divorce or no divorce, young children are famopus for their fickle behavior on the phone. Try not to take it too personally, and be careful you don't develop an angry reaction to your daughter. She has every reason to be upset, and every time you see her and then leave again the separartion is reawakened. Obviously the post-divorce arrangement is not the most conducive to fostering a good parent/child relationship, but it's a less-than-perfect world.