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Afraid of birthday parties

My three year old daugher says she "hates" birthdays.  At any given party, when it comes time for the candles to be blown out and Happy Birthday to be sung, she runs away and often cries.  On her birthday this year, we minimized the fuss and took her out for a family dinner.  Just us. Everything went very well. When we returned home, my husband brought out a scoop of ice cream with a candle in it.  She burst into tears and ran into her room.  She was unconsolable for half an hour until she fell asleep.  The only information I can get from her is that she hates birthdays.  Any suggestions?
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13167 tn?1327194124
If your child is afraid of birthday parties,  why did your husband insist on bringing out a lit candle that she is REALLY afraid of?  

She hates candles.  Stop bringing out ice cream or cake with candles to celebrate for her,  she hates it.

I'm sorry to be so short tempered with you,   but wait until she is a teen and you will actually have hard things to deal with.  For the time being, stop doing things you know for a fact don't matter and that she is in fact in terror of.


Helpful - 0
203342 tn?1328737207
Maybe it's just a little overwhelming to her that she's the center of attention? Do you think she might be afraid of the candle or flame? It's hard to say. I wouldn't make too much of a fuss about it or you might reinforce to her that this really is a big deal. I would imagine she will outgrow this as she gets older and can manage her emotions better.
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