Aa
All kinds of odd behavior in 16 month old, HELP?
My daughter is 16 months old, I'm going to list the issues I have with her behavior... because some have been since birth, some temporary at some point since birth, and some recent. I'm at a loss - I get easily frustrated with her and have no idea how to handle her. Is her behavior normal? What can I do to be a better parent to her?
Since birth:
*extremely light sleeper (have to be extremely quiet or she'll wake, we even have a fan but I'm considering getting something to make more white noise to keep her from noticing when we come in.)
*extremely clingy, I couldn't lay her down when she was a newborn until she was about 2 months old without her waking... if I even pulled her away from me, she'd wake and cry. I finally started co-sleeping because I wasn't getting ANY sleep. Which brings me to my next problem.......
*she nursed until 6 months - which was great, she did well. When she stopped nursing, she started sleeping through the night and I kept her in her crib. She seemed to do wonderfully, her sleeping anyway. Then at about 10 months, she started waking. I figured it was a growth spurt and tried to feed her more during the day. She hardly eats enough to keep a fly alive so that didn't pan out, I'm not surprised she wakes at night hungry - if in fact that is why she wakes. Eventually, I gave in and gave her a cup. Now, it's the only way I can get her to go back to sleep at night. I have tried everything else...rocking, letting her cry, staying up longer,etc. Problem is, I can't let her cry because she won't stop. We did the "cry it out" method to get her to go to sleep by herself and don't have much of a problem when we first put her down but in the middle of the night is a nightmare, because we don't know why she wakes or how to get her back to sleep.
Temporary Behavior
*when she was old enough to get upset and move around, she started to bang her head when she'd get upset. If she couldn't play with something or if she wanted something, she'd bang her head. It worried me but she stopped, thank goodness. I thought it might be a sign of behavior or neurological problems.
*She has been throwing fits though, hitting and throwing herself over and over, jumping up and down and screaming. Seems she'd be too young for this.
Recent Behavior:
*she's been much happier lately. She stills screams when she cries, wakes during the night, eats like a fish, and such but has generally been much happier during the day. She has taken to new people unbelievably well, goes right to them in fact. She has been easier to tolerate - I used to be so frustrated because I didn't think I could handle her. Still difficult but not as difficult.
*Within the last 2 months or so, her mood has improved. She's also started showing that she understands things, she's learned a few new words, and is pointing to things - not all new behaviors, but noticeably rapid learning lately.
She's so clingy, whiny, fussy, and has such a temper for such a young baby that I am worried. She also wakes at the drop of an eyelash and it's causing us all to be cranky. I need to know if her behavior is normal or if I should be worried. I need to know what to do to get her to stay asleep at night without waking several times - I know, I know it's bad to give her a cup but I have a 4 yr old too.... I couldn't handle getting up for 3 hrs at night and then getting back up every hour or so. It was bad. I've never seen a child so fussy and angry as mine. My 4 yr old is a parent's dream, always happy and woke with a smile. All the "methods" worked. She is extremely smart and happy, easy to care for. We even treated her like an older child because she seemed to understand so much, I never really felt like she was a baby, I can't find the right words to describe her. I am comparing them to you to show that I have absolutely no idea how to deal with such a fussy child. I've never seen a child like this. She seems miserable most of the time and happy at some times - happier recently but nonetheless still very clingy and cranky. Please help me, I don't want to love one more than the other and I don't want to be a bad mother, I want her to be happy. I need to know what I can do.
Since birth:
*extremely light sleeper (have to be extremely quiet or she'll wake, we even have a fan but I'm considering getting something to make more white noise to keep her from noticing when we come in.)
*extremely clingy, I couldn't lay her down when she was a newborn until she was about 2 months old without her waking... if I even pulled her away from me, she'd wake and cry. I finally started co-sleeping because I wasn't getting ANY sleep. Which brings me to my next problem.......
*she nursed until 6 months - which was great, she did well. When she stopped nursing, she started sleeping through the night and I kept her in her crib. She seemed to do wonderfully, her sleeping anyway. Then at about 10 months, she started waking. I figured it was a growth spurt and tried to feed her more during the day. She hardly eats enough to keep a fly alive so that didn't pan out, I'm not surprised she wakes at night hungry - if in fact that is why she wakes. Eventually, I gave in and gave her a cup. Now, it's the only way I can get her to go back to sleep at night. I have tried everything else...rocking, letting her cry, staying up longer,etc. Problem is, I can't let her cry because she won't stop. We did the "cry it out" method to get her to go to sleep by herself and don't have much of a problem when we first put her down but in the middle of the night is a nightmare, because we don't know why she wakes or how to get her back to sleep.
Temporary Behavior
*when she was old enough to get upset and move around, she started to bang her head when she'd get upset. If she couldn't play with something or if she wanted something, she'd bang her head. It worried me but she stopped, thank goodness. I thought it might be a sign of behavior or neurological problems.
*She has been throwing fits though, hitting and throwing herself over and over, jumping up and down and screaming. Seems she'd be too young for this.
Recent Behavior:
*she's been much happier lately. She stills screams when she cries, wakes during the night, eats like a fish, and such but has generally been much happier during the day. She has taken to new people unbelievably well, goes right to them in fact. She has been easier to tolerate - I used to be so frustrated because I didn't think I could handle her. Still difficult but not as difficult.
*Within the last 2 months or so, her mood has improved. She's also started showing that she understands things, she's learned a few new words, and is pointing to things - not all new behaviors, but noticeably rapid learning lately.
She's so clingy, whiny, fussy, and has such a temper for such a young baby that I am worried. She also wakes at the drop of an eyelash and it's causing us all to be cranky. I need to know if her behavior is normal or if I should be worried. I need to know what to do to get her to stay asleep at night without waking several times - I know, I know it's bad to give her a cup but I have a 4 yr old too.... I couldn't handle getting up for 3 hrs at night and then getting back up every hour or so. It was bad. I've never seen a child so fussy and angry as mine. My 4 yr old is a parent's dream, always happy and woke with a smile. All the "methods" worked. She is extremely smart and happy, easy to care for. We even treated her like an older child because she seemed to understand so much, I never really felt like she was a baby, I can't find the right words to describe her. I am comparing them to you to show that I have absolutely no idea how to deal with such a fussy child. I've never seen a child like this. She seems miserable most of the time and happy at some times - happier recently but nonetheless still very clingy and cranky. Please help me, I don't want to love one more than the other and I don't want to be a bad mother, I want her to be happy. I need to know what I can do.
Ribrianne try getting your child evaluated you never know if the child has a spectrum of autism. I hope not but you should take the child to an evaluator. Their are all forms of autism. God bless you. I hope she gets better. Continue to reach out to others and talk about it when you feel fustrated. From one mom to another.
See now, my second child had me running, screaming back to the workplace. I stayed at home with my first and through my radiation and reconstruction. But the clinginess was just too much, so I went back to work! (The isolation I experienced with #1 was also a factor.) Didn't fix the clinginess, but at least I only deal with it after work and on weekends. My mom keeps the kiddos when they are not at Mom's Day Out. I work around their school schedule, not a traditional 40 hour week. My mom says she has her "clingy" days..probably 1 out of every 2 days, but even that is getting better. MDO clingy is on and off...good for a week or two, then back to bawling continually for a week.
I APPLAUD you for staying home with clingy!!!! You go girl!
As for what we have done with the sleep thing (and it does get some better).... we started having the girls sleep together (their choice actually) around the 18 month mark for Lauren. They didn't do so well, we did a number of things, changed beds a couple of times (toddler beds to full-size beds, one bed versus 2 beds), different routines with bath, story, etc.... FINALLY just after the 2 yr mark for Lauren, they started sleeping in one room/bed (with mommy in the room to start...strange they'll rotate rooms about twice a week). They'll start out with lights out at 8:30. I creep out around 10ish (after falling asleep myself). After we ditched the baba, Lauren started sleeping "mostly" through the night. She'll either come in around 12:30 and sleep until 5am, then go back to sleep until 7ish OR she'll sleep until around 3ish and then go back to sleep until 6:30. Take your pick. Before then, we were up with her almost every 2 hours like clockwork.
And she is getting better. 1 complete night's sleep was just last week, scared the bejesus out of me, let me tell ya.
Yes, yours is still young...man they seem that way for forever sometimes. Just keep patience and try to find a way to help her sleep. We tried probably everything. We couldn't do the "cry it out" method because she vomitted EVERY time we tried that. The cure was worse than the problem. We're not just talking some vomit, we're talking all of what is in her stomach and intestines vomit. It was awful.
My heart goes out to you, and you have my respect for being there for your kids, clingy and all. Good luck to ya!
PS...my niece used to be queen of temper tantrums when she was 2. She grew out of those around 4. Luckily ours aren't that bad "yet"!
I APPLAUD you for staying home with clingy!!!! You go girl!
As for what we have done with the sleep thing (and it does get some better).... we started having the girls sleep together (their choice actually) around the 18 month mark for Lauren. They didn't do so well, we did a number of things, changed beds a couple of times (toddler beds to full-size beds, one bed versus 2 beds), different routines with bath, story, etc.... FINALLY just after the 2 yr mark for Lauren, they started sleeping in one room/bed (with mommy in the room to start...strange they'll rotate rooms about twice a week). They'll start out with lights out at 8:30. I creep out around 10ish (after falling asleep myself). After we ditched the baba, Lauren started sleeping "mostly" through the night. She'll either come in around 12:30 and sleep until 5am, then go back to sleep until 7ish OR she'll sleep until around 3ish and then go back to sleep until 6:30. Take your pick. Before then, we were up with her almost every 2 hours like clockwork.
And she is getting better. 1 complete night's sleep was just last week, scared the bejesus out of me, let me tell ya.
Yes, yours is still young...man they seem that way for forever sometimes. Just keep patience and try to find a way to help her sleep. We tried probably everything. We couldn't do the "cry it out" method because she vomitted EVERY time we tried that. The cure was worse than the problem. We're not just talking some vomit, we're talking all of what is in her stomach and intestines vomit. It was awful.
My heart goes out to you, and you have my respect for being there for your kids, clingy and all. Good luck to ya!
PS...my niece used to be queen of temper tantrums when she was 2. She grew out of those around 4. Luckily ours aren't that bad "yet"!
She doesn't do it anymore, she did grow out of the head banging. She throws temper tantrums though when she is unhappy, wants to be held, etc. She's still awfully young though, sleeps in a crib in our room. I'm afraid if I put her crib into her sisters room, she'll just wake her up as well... Now that I think of it, I wonder if I should wait to move her until I get her to stop waking at night or if the move would hinder any progression she'd have made.
I stay home with them too, my 4 yr old is in preschool. The baby has always been clingy, I have always said she demands attention. I always thought kids went through it as a phase, I didn't know some kids might actually just be like that all the time...
I stay home with them too, my 4 yr old is in preschool. The baby has always been clingy, I have always said she demands attention. I always thought kids went through it as a phase, I didn't know some kids might actually just be like that all the time...
PS... my husband thinks we've gone through a continual separation period from my youngest. And she will only occassionally walk into her MDO class or Sunday School class without totally breaking down.
The clingy really gets to you.
The clingy really gets to you.
Can't comment on anything but the sleep issues.....not being able to put themselves back to sleep...drinking at night...
My 2+ yr old has hardly slept a full night through, I can count using 3 fingers the number of nights where she has NOT woken up in the middle of the night. And I ended up letting her have her "ba-ba" in the night because it seemed the ONLY way to get this poor child back to sleep. We've now weaned the baba, but she is still drinking from a sippy cup at least 2 times in a night (thankfully she can now put it on the nightstand and get it when she wants it)....still she comes to get me when she wakes up (or cries waking up sister).
However, she eats a little of everything all the time. She'll eat even when I suspect she's not hungry. But, she's not overweight... and she is healthy with the exception of occassional asthma and a bad chronic case of eczema.
She does get very upset at things, but mostly cries... sometimes unconsolably. That's her way of getting attention...we're trying to give her other options and that is SLOWLY working. Boy is the retraining a slow thing. She hates it when her big sis has something she wants or something gets taken away...and forbid me if I EVER say NO or DON"T to the child...you'd think I had slapped her or something.
I feel for ya. I would ask the ped about the head banging thing, but would suspect she'll eventually grow out of it or find something else to compensate for whatever it is that makes her do that behaviour.
My 3 yr old was a dream, too. Guess we're just lucky and then some. :)
My 2+ yr old has hardly slept a full night through, I can count using 3 fingers the number of nights where she has NOT woken up in the middle of the night. And I ended up letting her have her "ba-ba" in the night because it seemed the ONLY way to get this poor child back to sleep. We've now weaned the baba, but she is still drinking from a sippy cup at least 2 times in a night (thankfully she can now put it on the nightstand and get it when she wants it)....still she comes to get me when she wakes up (or cries waking up sister).
However, she eats a little of everything all the time. She'll eat even when I suspect she's not hungry. But, she's not overweight... and she is healthy with the exception of occassional asthma and a bad chronic case of eczema.
She does get very upset at things, but mostly cries... sometimes unconsolably. That's her way of getting attention...we're trying to give her other options and that is SLOWLY working. Boy is the retraining a slow thing. She hates it when her big sis has something she wants or something gets taken away...and forbid me if I EVER say NO or DON"T to the child...you'd think I had slapped her or something.
I feel for ya. I would ask the ped about the head banging thing, but would suspect she'll eventually grow out of it or find something else to compensate for whatever it is that makes her do that behaviour.
My 3 yr old was a dream, too. Guess we're just lucky and then some. :)
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments
