Anger Issues-8 year old boy

[bliss99]

Hello!  I have a 8 year old son who has terrible anger issues and meltdowns weekly.  It's almost like his mind sets on one thought and he cannot let go of that thought and it goes directly to a full blown tempertantrum and usually consists of telling me how horrible of a mother I am, that he hates me, he hates our family, destroying everything in his sight.  I have had to hold him down on the floor for hours at a time just so he wont hurt any of us or destroy everything in sight.  I have taken pictures of things he has destroyed.  He has not seen a therapist, but that is my next step.  He only does this sort of thing at home and outside at home, but never in school.  At school he has #2 accidents in hid underwer quite often which I think may have something to do with his outbursts at home, but I am not absolutely sure.  I need any advice I can get.  Thank you!

[Sandman2]

    Yes, there are things that you can do, but we need a bit more info.  I assume he is in 3rd grade?   Why did the school run an IEP assessment?  You said he behaves very well in school.   Are his grades a problem?  Is that the reason for the assessment?
     Do you have other kids at home?  if so what are their ages?
     Can you give us an idea of what triggers his anger at home?  
     Oh, you said that he said, nobody likes him.   Do his teachers see the same thing?
      

[NicoleE77]

My 8 year old son and Daughter are twins, and they both have breakdowns. Their birthfather is a Transvestite, and we divorced when I found out. This summer they went to stay with my parents, and ever since they've been back our life here has been turned upside down. My son worries me the most because he gets so mad at everything and everybody. He got into 2 big fights with other kids at my parents house, and has been hitting me and his siblings.
I feel out of control with him. We need help. I'm worried he has mental health issues. I had kicked me in the face, and I spanked him for it, and it doesn't even phase him. He makes me angry too, and we end up being two huge balls of rage together. I am very easy going, and I tend to let things go quickly, but I can't seem to shake off his tantrums. I hate even calling them tantrums because it underscores his actions. I just don't know what to do.
Can anyone help me
nicole

[lexye]

8 year old boy and has tourettes with odd -adhd-severe anger.lies all of the time is sneaky manipulitive destroyes all of his 3 year old brothers toys.is mean to him and hits him.is there any toys that is good for him that he will not destroy.dr. says he knows the differense between right and wrong .he is responsible for his actions.if we spank him he will turn to us and smile.whats up with this.does he like getting spanked or what.he is obsessed with cars and crashing them.the small match box cars.why is he obsessed with crashing things.can anyone help with my questions?   thank you.    lex

[ryanconnors]

Oh My What to do....
My 8yr old is the same.It is killing me with this behavior. I know its not him, he is such a sweet boy but like yours when something or someone upsets him he just don't let it go he will dwell on it all day. It will start with his sister looking at him at breakfast and him telling her to stop looking at him then her edging him on till he gets really mad and then hits her ,then me getting mad at his sister for being a pest and me getting mad at him for hitting his sister its unexceptable. I tell him he will loose something if he does not change his addtitude.  For instance for hitting his sister and cursing and tell me he hates me and wishes he had a new family and just being a saucy boy I took his tv,dvd player and DS away from him untill his attitude changes and he appologises to us. I sat down with him and tried to talk to him about his behavior. He first just said he don't have to listen to me he don't love me and don't want any kiss or hug from me ever again. I don't love him,he wishes he was dead etc. I told him that no matter how bad he is  or how mad i get with him that I love him with all my heart and although he may feel his punishment is harsh or unfair that i have to show him whats exceptable behaviour in life and whats unexceptable. I do not like to yell at him or take things from him but as a parent I have to guide him in the right direction in life. Well while giving my speech He mumbeled how he don't care hates everyone down to the dog. I told him I love him and i will wait for my appology and kiss and hug.  20 min later he calls out to me says he is sorry and he do love me and that he wouldn't curse if i didn't teach him to say it."yes i am guilty of a few curse words if made mad enough" but  thats no excuse my parents were 100 times worse but i would never repeat it. I did promise to stop cursing too. Its just not nice to hear from a child or Adult. I Blame myself  for his attitude change  because he keeps saying I am never home that i care more about work then him that we don't get family time . etc.. Hard to hear its so hard having to work nights . the kids want me to do home work with them to put them to bed to read to them but with night shifts i can't do it. Dad has to and  he do not have that mom way about him at all. So I feel I have failed my kids as a mom ..I go back to work My home and kids fall apart. I am trying to work from home soon to make everyone happy. wish me luck .. If any one of you has advice for me i openly welcome it. I am so depressed over this.  

                                                      Mom of three

[Mommy3Girls]

Hi ladies. Wow, I think you both just helped me diagnose my 7 year old daughter. I looked up the ODD online to see what it said and every action/symptom shown describes my little girl to a T. Thank you for sharing, you may have just made things for my daughter and my family much more bearable.

[rebbecca]

he need a therpist and also to be evoluated because of his behavior. my son is also 8 and he has alot of the same problems, he has also been hositpalized because of his aggressive behavior got so out of hand that he was hitting is sibling really bad. he is adhd, odd and mood disorder. he is on meds, censerta and risperdal.
have you talked to the school about his behavior? I have and his teacher is working with me and my son, little thing like rewards when he his had a good morning and afternoon at home. i do have to buy little thing for the rewards but it is worth it. it has really helped my son.
good luck

[Jazzy2626]

My son is 8 and has struggled in school academically he tested 2 points off and didnt qualify for I.E.P. he also has a speech delay and has been made fun of in the past. He behaves very good at school but at home he wont listen. He is very disrespectful and violent and distructive, and he is very bossy and agressive yet he has cries to me nobody likes him. At the drop of a dime he switches and tells me to get out of his room, and I can cry and he will tell me to get out or even hit me again. He loves our two chihauhaus and they are always ib his room but when he gets mad he will choke the small one for no reason. I am so heartbroken and truely scared of what hia future may bring, as well as so sad for him feelibg sad, it absolutely kills me to hear him say he wants to die. Can anyone tell me what I should do? Is that something that can change?
Please help