Are Angry Fits Normal for a 2 year old

[toni577]

My 2 year old daughter is having these very intense tantrums or bursts of anger daily for about 1-2 hours. She'll scream like someone is physically hurting her and throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming. People constantly stare when we are out in public when she throws these fits. I feel like a horrible mom and am embarrassed because I don't see other children act out like mine. It has become a constant thing I have to deal with daily now that i stay home with her. She use to be in daycare and she never threw these tantrums. My sister use to watch her for awhile and no tantrums. I've noticed these very violent tantrums since she was about 9-12 months old. I thought they might just be because she was so tired she would fight it. My daughter will physically hurt herself by scratching or biting. She'll throw or break things on purpose, bang her head on the wall, pull my hair or hit, scratch, and bite me. I've done just about everything from time outs, spankings to ignoring her. I've tried to talk or reason with her, even hug her or give her attention. I've tried putting her in her room after about 15 min of crying and she starts to break things in her room and throwing things violently. I don't know what to do it's driving me crazy! My husband is gone for weeks at a time so it's just me and her all day long. Is this normal behavior? Everyone says children test their parents.

[adgal]

My 14 month old does this sometimes.  Usually it's if I have to take something away from him.  I agree..hitting won't work.  What seems to work for us are two different things.  First, I try diversion. When I take something away he can't have, I try to distract him with something he can.   If that doesn't work I completely and totally utterly ignore him.  I can see him of course, but I sort of walk away.  I find that when he gets no attention whatsoever having a tantrum it doesn't last very long.  Yes, they are testing boundaries.  Remember they also don't really have the ability to reason yet.  I don't believe punishing is the right thing...better to ignore or distract.  They are asserting their independance, plus are frustrated because they cannot yet communicate to us what they want.  It's hard and frustrating for them at this age.  Patience and lots of positive attention are good.  I also agree..speaking to her Dr. may be a good thing. I talk to my son's about all these types of things.  It's very normal for them to go through this.

[margypops]

I think you should ask your self why she is doing this she sounds upset by something, punishments dont work especially hitting a child, what happens prior to the outbursts ,. If you react with anger she is learning the anger from you and reciprocating. Perhaps a word with the Doctor would be a good idea .