At my limits don't know what else to do

[dafultz]

I am a mother of six children 13, 11, 7, 4,3,1 three boys and three girls. I have normal age behavior problems from each one of my kids and i handle them my methods work on all of my children and I use age appropriate methods for each age range the 4,3,1 get time out and i use the old counting except i count to five not three to give them more time to think of the consequence. My 7 year old whom i home school gets the corner for every minute of his age and I take small things from him like junk food or tv for a day and that works for him. My 13 year old son responds well to taking his cell phone and his privleges to hang out with his friends etc. But with all of the success i have had with the five. I have my 11 year old I am so fed up and his behavior is affecting the whole family it is stressful for everyone and he is in trouble everyday. I am so upset with him but on the other hand it feels like he is being singled out from the rest of the kids cause there behavior is angelic compared with him. I feel like I am sounding harsh and horrible but this is how it is. I have peace only when he is at school. I love my son and I have tried everything I can short of beating him and nothing works. He is good at school and makes okay grades A, B, C 's and he never gets in trouble but from the minute he walks in the door it is hell on wheels. In my home homework first then chores then dinner then get your stuff together for next day then bed. they are on a routine. he gets plenty of sleep but when i say to him it is your day for the kitchen he starts to kick things, punch walls, if any of the smaller kids go near him he shoves them out of the room and grabs there arm. He says mean things to me. For example, The other night we watched the news I had problems out of him all day long. we were all watching the news and it was going to be in the 30's the next morning I was in the middle of dragging out the winter clothes and had not got to theres yet. So I ran out to Walmart and got the boys a pair of jeans and long sleeve shirt got home and drug there coats out and finally got to bed about 3 am when i got them up for school. My 13 year old got ready but my 11 year old threw the clothes in the floor and kicked the wall woke everyone up at 5:30 am screaming at me that the clothes were stupid, he didn't like them and he ended up wearing something else. I was angry and hurt. The other kids are getting hurt by his actions he is to the point now where he just tells me he is not going to do anything at all. and he is very violent. But he is an Angel everywhere but at home. this has only been going on about a month. someone please if you have any advice please i am desperate at this point. Do I need to take him to the doctor? Is there something i am not doing? Thanks.

[Sandman2]

  If this has only been going on for a month.  Then there is a very good chance that something has happened that has caused all of this.  Talk to him, his teachers, his brothers.   Find the cause, and you can find the solution.

[margypops]

I would concur with heartsoul that he is feeling left out and possibly it stems from the way you think the others are perfect and he is not. A talk and possibly some councelling may help,what is the attitude of the other children towards him does any teasing go on that makes him lash out .?

[heartsoul0529]

From the sound of it it seems like your 11 yr old son is a bit jealous.  He may feel that his attention is getting divided among the other 5 siblings or may feel like he's not getting enough attention from you.  Therefore, he takes his frustration out on you and his other siblings to get your attention and letting the other siblings know he runs the household.  Have you try talking to your 11 yr old son one-on-one without other kids around?  Ask him what is he so angry about? Maybe he's getting bully from other kids at school and instead of talking about it, he could act out his frustration and show aggressions toward you and his brothers and sisters. My best advice, is to have a one-on-one talk with your son to find out the root of his behaviour.