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Bed Wetting 12 yr old

I am dealing with a 12 yr old step son who is bed wetting still. This young man used pull up's until the age of 10, he out grew them and the would no longer fit. We have bought the $100.00 bed wetting alarm and 3 cords, 3 because he broke the other two. We have done the no drinks BLA BLA BLA with the same results. This weekend was the deal breaker... 1.30 min in the bath room with him crying because he was work up and told to use the bathroom. last night he was on his hands and knees moving across our bedroom floor peeing the whole time. This boy is not motivated and cooperative hen it comes to this.

We have moved him into our room because he would use any means to dampen the sound of the alarm so we would not wake to it.

What can I do to " motivated and get him to be cooperative". I taped the saturday show for him to watch and he wants not part of it.

HELP!
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Avatar universal
my son is almost 17 and is still bedwetting. after consulting many, many doctors with many, many hypothesis... one of them decided he should undergo an EEG. indeed, my son's cerebral activity is very high even during the night. poor sleeping pattern and unable to rest profoundly. apparently this can be a cause for bedwetting.
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Avatar universal
SL1
We took a couple of my kids to a Dr. when they were about 9 or 10 because they still wet the bed almost every night.  We were told there was no infection or abnormality of any kind.  Some kids just don't develop the ability to control their bladder during sleep.  It can persist into teen years.  I've heard of it going into early adulthood on rare occassion.  I know one person personally who still had trouble in late teen years.  Take your child to the Dr. just to be sure there isn't a physical problem that can be treated.  If nothing can be done, then just encourage your child not to consume liquids after dinnertime.   Be supportive and understanding of how stressful this is for him.  It is embarressing.  Let him know you are there to talk with if he wants to talk about it.  Tell him you are sorry if your efforts to help have stressed him and let him know that you love him even if he wets the bed.  Then buy a few extra sheets, a large basket to toss the wet sheets into and be sure to let him know his secret is safe with you.  Cheerfully show him how to wash his wet sheets and take responsibilty for the mess.  Remember; your child does not want the world to know about his problem.  He doesn't want his friends to find out.  He just needs to know that he is not in this alone- you understand.   Also; remember that if you don't show enough support to him during this crisis; you are heading into teenage years and he won't feel that he can come to you with bigger issues.  Now is the perfect time to build on the relationship you have with him.  Then when the bigger issues come along- and believe me- they will in those teenage years- he will feel he can trust you and come to you for help.   Good Luck!   You are NOT alone.  I've been there, and with all the kids I've got, I'll be there for years to come.
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Avatar universal
Your child probably has control issues on top of his ADD.  The toothbrush thing will take care of its self when he gets interested in girls.  He really needs some patience and understanding.  I would drop the bedwetting alarm, and tell him when he is ready to fix this problem, to come see you.  (There are probably some trust issues here too.)  They do have medication for bedwetting that are sometimes effective.  

Children (and adults) who are ADD need to be reminded to take their medication.  I not only remind my children, I place it in their hand, making sure they don't drop it in the process.  

Children who are ADD appear to be lazy, but most of the time they are not focused, or are focused on the wrong thing.  It would be good for all of you if you could see a therapist.  It sounds like some healing needs to take place.

Good luck and God bless.
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Avatar universal
Laziness can be a sign of depression.  It also goes along with having ADD - and the medicine he is taking to slooow him down may be doing just that. I think he needs a counselor - and I also think you should just get rid of the alarm - get a waterproof mattress pad under the sheets (which you probably already have) and let him take care of the problem himself - which by your last post it sounds like he was doing just fine.  Why were you sleeping on the couch waiting for the alarm to go off?    He has 2 doctors working with him - he's on medicine - why are you sitting there waiting for the alarm to go off so you can observe his behavior?    You already knew what he was going to do..
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Avatar universal
Well I know how you feel about the laziness...I have a 15 yr. old stepson which I have been around for 14 yrs. he lives with his mom we get him on weekends. Well he never wants to take care of his self (brush teeth, hair, etc.) He also has ADHD...now I wonder if that has any thing to do with it? I always have to tell him..brush your hair...did you brush your teeth? etc. and most of the time he lies about it also and does not do it..I have checked his toothbrush and it would be dry. I have to tell him when to take baths also or he will not take one. One weekend I never said anything to him and you know what...he never bathed, brushed his hair or teeth. But I have learned over the years to deal with it and not let it bother me....I just keep reminding him..atleast when he is here maybe he will take care of his self.  As far as the bedwetting..sorry I have never encountered this problem...but if he is embarrased of it and cleaning it up then maybe he does have a problem..I would get some advice from  doctor.
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Avatar universal
Well last night we stayed on the couchs to see what he would do. Well the wetting alarm went off it woke him up. He did nothing to respond to the alarm but ball up in try to go back to sleep... wraping the sheet he uses around it to muffle the sound.

What can I do to " motivated and get him to be cooperative". Please understand he is not motivated to stop. He is so lazy, he has been taking ADHA meds for 7 yrs now ans STILL everyday we have to tell him to take his meds. If it does not have a prize attached to it then he wants NOTHING to do with it.

I can not tell you when the last time he brushed his teeth was. If you ask him to do it he goes in shuts the door and stands there. We have checked the tooth brush and it will be dry. Now he will wet it under the water and lay it back down. He has no personal drive to take care of himself

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Avatar universal
I agree with MusicMamma - I think you are just adding to the stress of this situation.  If he wets the bed - let him get up, clean it up, and go back to sleep - why do you have alarms and have him sleeping in YOUR room at 12 years old??  Leave him alone.  Also why is he sneaking to get food?  It sounds like this kid needs some breathing room.  The situation with the food sounds like a control issue - when you find it - just ask him nicely to throw it away.  And just keep on doing it until he loses interest in the "game".  He sounds like he has a lot of emotional issues - hoarding food, bedwetting, 2 doctors, ADD,  when kids come from a broken home - they have issues.  You need patience and compassion.  ANd he needs respect and privacy.  
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Avatar universal
It sounds like you are making this situation more stressful than it should be.  It sounds like he really doesn't want attention drawn to himself about this.  Bedwetting can also be a sleep disorder.  We have used a service that is very effective and is guaranteed.  He has to be motivated to participate.  At his age, I think he wants his dignity and a little privacy.  If he is cleaning up his own mess, why does it matter if he wets the bed?  Let him deal with it when he is ready.
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Avatar universal

  He is seeing two doctors and has ADHD and is on meds. I cannot even start to explain what he looked like last night. He said he leg was asleep but we knew better. He is fighting this all the way. When he is wet he wants them off as fast as he can. Last night was no different. He waited for us to fall back asleep and he was off to the races... got clean change of clothes and off to his bed he went. I asked why he broke the rules and went to his room. He acted like he did not know how he got in his bed.

He wakes up in the middle of the night when he wants food to take back to his room. We find half eaten items hidden in the bathroom counts, in his room and where ever else he can find to hide them. He will not take them to the trash as asked.

As for the bed wetting he lies about it and goes as far as building boxes with lined trash bags to hide them in. Then when we go to work he takes them out and washes them. The hiding is in the middle of the night. So sleep walking is ruled out if you ask me.

It's like he is just too lazy to get up and after he does it's all about him and how fast he can get dry and back in bed. We live in a 3000 SF house and he has (had) a room upstairs with a bathroom less than 30 feet from his room.
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100019 tn?1335919717
last night he was on his hands and knees moving across our bedroom floor peeing the whole time.

It seems like this boy has a whole lot more problems than bed-wetting.  Unless he was sleep walking last night, I've never heard of a 12 year old peeing on the floor while crawling across it.

You've got a huge problem.
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Avatar universal

Has he been to a doctor?  He may have a bladder problem.  He also may have emotional problems that are causing this.  Since you say he is a step child - his parents splitting up may have had a big effect on him.   Bedwetting can sometimes be a symptom of emotional pain that the child does not know how to deal with.    Either way - he needs some professional help.  
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