Big kid bed back to crib

[jewels82]

My daughter turned 3 in February and we bought her a big kid bed for her birthday... thinking 3 was the perfect age for her to make the transition out of her crib.  The first few nights she did not do well and kept getting up and crying until we put her in our bed. So I decided to get her one of those safety rails thinking she just felt a little insecure, like she might fall out.  We installed the safety rail and it allows her about 2 feet at the foot of the bed to get in out.  This actually seemed to do the trick for a few weeks and she was going to sleep with ease at night and only on a few nights crying out when she woke up... based on how sever the crying was I would either ignore it and she would eventually fall back to sleep (about 10-15 minutes later) or I would go and get her and put her in the bed with me. The past few weeks she has been refusing to go to bed in her bed.  I lay her down at about 8:30 after our usual nightly routine of dinner, walk, bath and cartoons for 30-60 minutes then a story and milk before bed (she does have a nightlight that she has had since she was an infant that plays soft music and allows her just enough light to see around the room).

As soon as I lay her down the drama begins...she starts screaming at the top of her lungs runs to her bedroom light and turns it on, she then lays at her bedroom door and kicks the door and screams as loud as she possibly can... I usually let this go on for a few minutes and then go back in her room and say in a calm voice "it's bedtime and you have to lay down now" and put her back in her bed she is usually still screaming at the top of her lungs I turn the bedroom light off and shut the door again--- this process can be repeated for hours and she never gives up until I really yell at her or lose my temper- which sounds terrible and truly is not in my nature... but I am usually very tired and need to go to bed too because I get up at 5am to get ready for work.

Anyhow that is the background, but I am at the point where I think I may have my husband put her crib back together and put it in the room with her big kid bed and tell her "I don't think you are ready for the responsibility of the big kid bed and until you are you have to sleep in the baby crib" she was never able to climb out of the crib (or at least never tried) and always fell right to sleep or was at least very content in it.

Any thoughts?  I don't want to confuse her...

[Nicole0311]

My 3 year old will not go to sleep without my husband or I (mostly me) lays down with him.  I know we created this problem by letting him sleep ion out bed but I can't undo that now.  We also have 1 year old twins who sleep by themselves in their own crib.  We have tried everything to get our son to sleep by himself noting seems to work.  He gets right out of bed when we out him in, even if it is our bed.  He will fall asleep if we I lay down with him.  Any suggestions on how to get to sleep in HIS bed by himself?

[jewels82]

Thanks for your comments... last night was a much better night... in fact I called my husband and said it was the best night of sleep I have had in a long time! I think I will get her a little brighter night light so she can see better without feeling like she has to get up and turn her bedroom light on.

I will elaborate that the only time I would put her in my bed was when she would say she was scared... although I think she caught on to that and would say she was scared even when she probably wasn't.

Anyhow... here's hoping that all of that was just a passing phase.

[supermomma531]

You have to continue putting her in her bed and do not bring her to your bed as this is causing confusion for her. She has gotten use to the fact that you'll do just about anything to keep her quiet at bedtime. It'll take a while of consistency and it sounds like you're on the right track but cut out the sleeping or even laying down with her. Don't put her back into her crib. She'll be fine. Does she have any dolls or stuffed animals that she sleeps with? If not, she may settle down with one or two. Do a reward sticker chart with her. For every night that she sleeps in her own bed, she gets a sticker. If she is able to get a sticker for every night, then maybe once per week, she can have a reward like going to the park or going to play with a friend or something like this. About 15 minutes before you put her to bed, tell her that she will be going to bed at this time and how many minutes she has left. Read a story and do what you normally do, then hold your ground. Your husband and you can take turns into who is putting her back to bed if you are both able to be there for her bedtime, this way it is not too stressful on one person continually. Try to be calm. Talk to her like she is a big girl and tell her how big girls like herself all sleep in big girl beds. Give her some big girl tasks and let her feel that she has accomplished something herself. Something like helping to decorate her bed with her dolls. I hope this helps you out.

[margypops]

Re read all you have put here you have already confused her, she is getting mixed messages, consistancy is the answer, too many words, you got it right when you say that you put her to bed and ignored her she fell asleep in 10-15 mins later, then you go on to say or'I would go and get her and take her into bed with me "    she knows you dont mean it. Back to square one, put her in her bed and leave her , it wont hurt her to yell ,it will hurt you, put up with it ,if you keep this up after a few days she will give up, when you take her into your bed or give her milk or stay in there with her you are right back to square one again. Consistancy is the answer, cheer up you will get there as many have done before you .Good Luck