Both of my children present extremely intense facial and hand characteristics when excited

[Salty_old_Dog]

My children are 9 (girl) and 5 (boy) and both of them present unusual facial and motor characteristics frequently during the day when they become excited or fixated on a particular subject. I myself who am now 40 have always displayed a similar affliction since childhood. It would be an easy diagnosis to suggest that they simply copy their father and have conditioned themselves to my own behaviour but I am convinced that this is not the case as they both present their affliction in very different presentations. My son raises both fists to his cheeks and utters nonsense through clenched jaws while often going crosseyed and exerting such intensity that he often shakes and is quite breathless at the end of each episode. I have considered some type of epilepsy but now doubt this as he will respond and immediately calm down if you address him. My daughter also expresses a grinding of the jaw but not so intense as my son and will twist her fingers into extreme double jointed patterns. She also shakes but not as intense as her brother. If they were copying me then why do we present three totally different characteristics? A couple of years ago a Paediatrician suggested that it would pass in time and not worry too much but unfortunately it seems to be getting worse and both children have now reported that their peers at school are making comments which are upsetting, particularly my daughter who is approaching the age where other children can be inestimably cruel.  We are scheduling a meeting with the school headmistress and are hopeful that her experience will shed light on the phenomena. already the children are mentioning that the teachers are trying to encourage both of them to abstain from their 'Habits?' but if this is a more deeply rooted problem then I feel that telling them to stop could exasibate the condition and potentially affect their confidence. I have heard that children who demonstrate high intelligence are prone to similar behaviour. My children are hardly back of the classroom students but conversly, I have no plans to enter them into MENSA just yet! Any thoughts???

[Sally44]

I have a son who is on the spectrum, and some of those children have movements that they carry out when over stimulated, and it is subconscious and I was told that it is a way of the sensory system regulating itself.  My son doesn't flap, and he doesn't spin (but he used to spin as a toddler), now when he gets very happy or excited he might bounce up and down or walk up and down - if at home he might throw himself onto the sofa.  I think it might all be tied into sensory overstimulation.  The other thought is whether it is a tic.  It seems to be involuntary - they don't plan to do it and many have no idea that they are doing anything at all.  I'm not suggesting any of these children are on the spectrum - but the behaviour might have similar roots - same as tourettes.
The other thought I have is how my son describes his feelings when he is unhappy about something (I know in these instances we are talking about extremely happy/excited), he says that he can't stop the feeling and he can't control it.  There is professional agreement and their brains are totally flooded with these emotions (which are infact chemical reactions in the brain), and there is clinical evidence that the effect on the brain is greater and more widespread than in typical people - hence their over emotional response and the time it takes to recover from it.  I would therefore think it is just as possible for the same type of thing to happen when very happy/excited - that the brain gets flooded with emotion (which again is all chemical reactions), and it is affecting other areas of the brain involved with involuntary movement??

[ktice]

I was searching for any info on children who shake when excited and I found this!  Your children sound exactly like my 4 year old daughter, which is why I was researching this behavior.  I am a school teacher and I have never seen a child do this before, until now.  My daughter does the EXACT same thing.  When she gets excited about something or sees something that makes her feel really happy, she shakes, almost shudders and if she's really excited, she will bring her hands up by her neck or cheeks and hold her fingers up very rigidly and straight.  She's done it since she was 2, maybe even earlier.  My husband and I are both aware of it and her preschool teachers have commented on it.  Some days, she seems to do it a LOT and other days she might not do it at all.  It does look odd, because she kind of freezes for a moment, seeming to enjoy whatever she is fixated on; it could be princesses, or a new dress, or when playing with her baby dolls, etc.  So I am at a loss, too, but am concerned about the social aspect of it, as well.  She's getting old enough that it is noticeable to others.  We do mention it to her, like, "Why are you shaking?"  "Are you excited?"  Sometimes she will even say to me, "I'm shaking!"  So she does seem to be aware of it, but it's probably because we point it out to her.  However, pointing it out has not alleviated the behavior at all. Hmmmmm.

[Sally44]

If they can control it just by you mentioning it to them - that is great.  However you said that you weren't even aware that you did it yourself until someone mentioned it to you, and you are now an adult and still doing it.  So, surely, there is every possibility that that will be the case for your children also.
Another approach you could take is to go to the doctor and talk to him about it to see what his opinion is.  It might be that they can have a look at you before they need to see your children.  But I think it is worth discussing.  You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.  And ask who would be the professional that would look into this type of difficulty.  Although you say it is probably 'genetic', that just means similar DNA and DNA simply controls and regulates all the interactions and chemical reactions within the cells in the body.  So, the basis of these types of difficulty will probably be neurological or sensory based.  

[Salty_old_Dog]

Hi Rose

That sounds sensible. Obviously if we can encourage them to moderate their characteristics in public then all well and good. They are great children who do indeed have a lot going for them. They both have wonderful sense of humours and are as charming as the day is long. I only hope that as their age increases and the complexities of growing up and peer-pressures start to define their personalities more and more then my ascetisism towards seeking specalist input does not come back to bite me in the arse.  

[RockRose]

Salty,  I agree at this point testing seems unnecessary.

A lot of parents tell their kids,  hey don't do that it makes you look weird.    You can tell them you did this weird thing too - but it's startling to people and you'll be made fun of.  

If they want to do it in private,  great,  but be aware it looks odd.

They sound like they'll be fine, and have a lot going for them.

[Salty_old_Dog]

Hi Sally. In reverse order, I wasn't even aware of my situation until into adult life where my sister of all people saw me doing it after years of not seeing her. She was amazed that I was still doing it. "Still doing what?" I questioned. "That thing you do with your hands and eyes", she replied. "What thing?", "Oh come on...you know what I mean!" but truly I didn't. People had obviously been aware of it but nobody had ever brought it to my attention - and like a nervous habit - unless somebody tells you then it is just a subconsious mechanism.

My children have never had any speech difficulties and are extremely articulate for their respective age groups. They are also very social creatures with a constant stream of friends coming in and out the house. They are also each others best friend - long may that last!

It only happens in a positive environment. By that I mean when they are excited or extremely happy and content. If I am cross with them or they are unwell or generally in a neutral environment (neither negative or positive) then they behave typically for a child in any such given circumstance. Even as I write this I wonder if it is just their way of expressing intense pleasure and excitment? Rather like a pressure boiler releasing all of that stored up energy. What gets me is why are they both like it and why have they been like it since babies?

I spoke to their Headmistress at school this morning who suggested that, although in 35+ years of teaching she had never experienced anything similar, she would introduce a passive rehabilitation programme towards those peers who were starting to tease my children. Passive insofar as none of them (my children included) would be aware that they were being conditioned to accept unusual behaviour. I will watch with great interest how this developes.

I am absolutely convinced that it is neither psychological nor neurological (my son had a negative result brain-scan a few years ago for an isolated incident) and for that reason I am reluctant to expose my children to the rigours of examinations by one specialist after another. If their little society of friends and peers learn to accept them and their school work remains unaffected I see little point in upsetting the applecart in pursuit of the perfect child at the expense of their happiness and confidence.

I will however do as you suggested and post the original message into the Autism/Aspergers forum to see what developes.

Your thoughts would be of interest.

[Sally44]

Have you tried posting your post in the expert forum for Autism and Aspergers.  I seem to remember another parent posting about physical behaviours such as flapping etc by a child that wasn't on the spectrum and they did give it a name.  
Does it only happen when excited?  This would seem to tie in with a sensory regulation difficulties.  Do your children have sensory issues in general?  If it is a sensory thing, then an Occupational Therapist is the person to observe and assess.  It might be that they need something like 'sensory breaks' or 'activities to help with sensory regulation or modulation' built into their day at school so that they don't get to that level where they begin to show all these behaviours.  If it is something that happens after one event (and not an accumulation over the day), then it might be a case of using strategies to recognise your own body state and calm down.  And it might take the same form as those that children/adults are taught to use in the face of a 'meltdown'.
If they show these behaviours regardless then it might be more of a tic and could be down to something like tourettes.
Did both childrens speech and social interaction develop typically?  Google Semantic Pragmatic Speech Disorder just to check that they don't have this speech disorder which ties in with being on the spectrum which also ties in with sensory difficulties.
Out of interest, have you found any ways of controlling your own behaviours?  And what do you feel is the cause of them?

[Salty_old_Dog]

Many thanks for your observations. I suppose my original posting does sound rather clinical but I was interested in posting as objective and factual account of my childrens behaviour as possible for fear of being sent many "Stop worrying - it will pass" comments.

I have a very limited knowledge of Asperger's Syndrome but recognise it as a mild form of autism. It is an issue I shall be taking up with the school head and, on the strength of that meeting, introduce the suggestion to our family doctor.

I agree with you that trying to discourage our children from their abnormal social behaviour, although initially upsetting, would have considerable benefits in the long term, however, I am inclined to think that if it is genetic as opposed to cognitive conditioning then surely getting them to stop would be like trying to get them to stop any innate bodily mechanism?

[RockRose]

Salty old dog,  you write in an extremely detached manner.  Clinical.   Have you researched Asperger's Syndrome?  Might be helpful.  

My guess is,  there is a "brain thing" going on. Children can inherit the most finely detailed mannerisms,  just from genetics,  not from watching and copying.  

I think it would be a good idea if they were encouraged to stop these unusual behaviors in social situations.  Although you feel like bringing this to their attention  would affect their confidence,  having other students laugh at them would hurt their confidence MUCH MORE.  MUCH more.

They sound like bright,  interesting children.  Telling them to be aware of their very unusual behaviors would help them socially.