Child not behaving in School.

[Ahmed729]

My 6 year old daughter is not behaving in school at all. I have posted here before and I was adviced to get the SOS help for the parents book which I did and I am following it very honestly. Her behavior has improved at home, but in school she is the same. She is in kindergarten and they have this behavior chart which they send home everyday, if it has a happy face stamp that means the child behaved well other wise there is a note from the teacher which tells the parents what the problem was, she gets a note at least 3 times a week and it always says one thing, not following directions or talking during instructions. I have discussed it with her so many times that I cant even count on my fingers if I want to. every morning before she gets on the bus I tell her remember the rules you have to stay quite you have to listen to the teacher she says yes she understands but its almost like as soon as she gets to school she forgets everything. Now she is starting this thing in the morning that she dont want to go to school becaue she will get a note, I dont know what to do, I am trying so hard to do everything right for her. But she is like a brick wall which I can go throught. Please advice something. Thank you so much.

[LRM1021]

My son sounds exactly like your children. We do the behavior management/ report card thing-- with rewards for good behavior and punishment for bad behavior. Sometimes it helps. Overall, I think it just keeps things from getting worse.  We do the you are the child/ we are the grown up -- you have to do what you NEED to do, and THEN you will get to do what you WANT to do--- the whole thing.

My son has been diagnosed with mild ADHD. However, since he has no academic problems, we have not introduced medication. He has some other medical conditions as well that may well actually prohibit us from using the medication ever anyway.

I'm not sure any of these things ever result in permanent change, but I do think that consistent reporting/ rewards/ consequences will help children behave when its not necessarily instintive for them. I think my son will be on behavior charts until he's 18:)

[augie999]

We had a similar situation with our 6 year old son, he had to go on the behavior program where each day we had a behavior report sent home which had smiley faces next to the times he did well and frowny faces for when is was off task or disrtuptive.  Our issue stems from our 6 year old thinking he is an adult and that he should be able to make his own rules instead of having to follow someone elses.  We do the same thing as far as constantly going over expected behavior and such which he does understand but it still doesn't out weigh his wanting to control his situation by doing things his way.  We feel awful at times because we feel like he is constantly on punishment, but we stick with the consistancy in hopes that we will someday prevail.  We even talked to his couselor about it and she suggested reinforcing the fact that he is the child and we are the grown ups and playing up the positive aspects of being a kid in hopes that he will eventually see that as a better alternative.  I don't know if this helps at all, but good luck.