Child possibly Bipolar or Sexual Abused?

[CJTMommy]

I have been having lots of problems with my 8 year old. When I tell her "no" for anything she goes into a rage of crying, screaming, hitting and kicking. When I wake her up in the mornings it is the same scenerio.

One minutes she can be loving and playful and in an instant she will turn and become very destructive and hateful. One minutes she wants everything done for her or needs help and then the next she very independent and gets very angry if you try to help her.

She wakes up frequentely at night and always yelling or talking in her sleep. She is very active and we have spells were she wants to go to bed 3 hours early and spells where she will stay up late and wake up 2 hours earlier than normal.

We have tried spankings, time outs, postive reinforcement, reward charts and to no avail things are getting worse.

She has been diagonosed with BDD and ADHD. She was put on medication and the medication has helped very little. She has been to a behavorial therapist who has discharged her because of no change. I have been told all of this could be signs of Bipolar or Sexual Abuse. I don't know what else to do. Can you help and tell me what could possibly be wrong with my child?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You have done the wise thing by arranging the appointment. There are a number of possible explanations for what you are seeing, and most of the behaviors you have described are not explained by her ADHD. So, more is going on with her and you are right to be concerned. In addition to her ADHD, the most likely probabilities are Mood Disorder and/or a condition along the spectrum of Pervasive Developmental Disorders.

[CJTMommy]

The reason sexual abuse was brought up was because she always plays with herself down there and the behavoir is getting worse. I was told that may be classic sighns of sexual abuse. I didn't think I have ever put her into a situation where this has possibly happened until this issue was brought up. This is the worst fear of every parent.

As for changes, alot of this started when she was was 2 after I was away on a work project for 6 weeks (after that became full time mom only). Shortly after that I got remarried and she got a new dad (he adopted her). Then 9 months later we had a little boy with alot of medical problems. At first we thought the special attention and many trips into the hospital we had to give her brother was the culprit. After all that calmed down, she did not.  2 years later she had a little sister.

We also thought alot of this was frustration because she has a hard time speaking. She started talking at 4 1/2 and is still in speech thearpy but can talk almost normally now. As she began to speak, the explosive screaming started.

One minutes she is very lovable and helpful to her siblings and the next she just gets irratated and angry at them for no reason. Lately I have caught her starting to hit her sister.

We are just trying to figure out what could cause all of this and if there is anyone else out there in a similar situation. I am waiting on an appointment with a phycharist (sorry, can't spell to great) for advice, but I also wanted to have some kind of theory or thoughts of what could be going on before we went. We just don't know what else to do.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Nothing in your description indicates that sexual abuse is the likely culprit. Is there anything else that makes you wonder about that? On the other hand, the behavior certainly is typical of many children who display juvenile-onset mood disorder (depression or bipolar disorder), alongside ADHD or without ADHD. What medication(s) have been prescribed for her? You might benefit from reading Ross Greene's book The Explosive Child. My guess is that you'll recognize your daughter's situation as you read the book. It is very likely that she will benefit from a combination of medication and behavioral therapy, though obviouisly you haven't struck the right mix yet. But don't be discouraged. A systematic plan for managing the behavior, combined with medication, may help.

[Cleveland Mom]

Her language development is quite unusual, not speaking until 4.5 y/o.  Has any of the specialists brought up a developmental disorder such as autism spectrum disorder?  Most have disordered language development.  Many present frenzied behavior, screaming, tantums which are unusually long, self-stimulation.  As the name suggests there is a continuum of functioning.

[CJTMommy]

oh..The medicine she was prescribed now for ADHD is Metadate and Clonidine. She is also on Zonagran for epilepsy and Singulair for Asthma.

[babyprayers]

lets talk more about the sexual abuse, was she or has she recently been in a situation that sexual abuse is even an option. Does she show any signs of sexual behavior, now That is not always the case just curious as to why her behavior would make you think that. Trying to raise kids is hard enough without all the extra mishaps that go along with it, I cannot believe her therapist discharged her because of no change in behavior,. that doesn t sound right, sort of like , taking a sick person, not knowing what is wrong and saying oh well., your on your own. please seek out other professional help, it sounds as if your daughter needs it, and it may be something that can be helped. good luck to you.

[RockRose]

CJT - I agree with babyprayers,  I'm kind of surprised that sexual abuse is one of your top thoughts - unless she has had lots of unsupervised contact with different men.

Are there other things going on in her life - a big change like a move, or a divorce,  or something else very profound?

I applaud the behavioral therapist for discharging her when what was being done didn't help at all - it's a waste of your money to keep going back and back and back when it isn't making one ounce of difference.

I sense there is something in her environment - a big change - that is causing her to be so difficult.

Best wishes.